Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day 12 of the new Journey: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness

I always love putting up the title of a post becuase wen I begin typing "day" it comes up automatically with the title of "Day 1".. a good reminder that it is a day at a time and that each day is in fact a new begining!

I had a dear friend who is on this journey talk about betaing herself up because of a "sugar slip"...I totally sympathize..cause even the slightest diversion from the plan can bring that monster that says I have to be "perfect" and the other monster that wants to say "see I told you you could not do it". Well, first, there is no wood on my back and things are going to happen, and secondly, there is no failure if I am doing what i need to do for myself one day at a is PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION, PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION, PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION! I LOVE (sarcastic) how my brain can try and set me up for failure by presenting those either or propsitions....sorry brain...there is a lot of grey friend..and in that grey is where my humanity makes for a lot of progress and good things!  I was so grateful for her sharing with me and keeping these things "green for me" and also for a post from a dear person who shared she is begining this journey as well!!! It is so powerful!

As I said yesterday, I have some sort of bug...I did not do cardio yesterday and stayed wrapped up. I was so pleased as well that I did not do anything bad food wise. I did not want to cook so Michael went to pita delite and got me the chicken fajita salad...i was almost all the way through it when I realized that the dressing was not on it! I was enjoying so much I just did not need it! the only fat came from the feta, and I was ok with that cause I had done so well throughout the day and week. I did give myself an extra sugar free ice cream sandwich...being mindful that sugar free does not mean low calorie or low fat! All in all a successful day!

Today, I woke with the same congestion and sinus. I skipped church and a lunch with a dear friend....but somewhere in the early afternoon I got fidgety and while it may have been stupid, I went in to do my cardio. It was not as bad as I thought it woudl be and it did open me up..but I felt good about doing this for myself. My heart rate was higher than normal because of the congestion...but never too hgh that it shot way above my range...and 30 minutes later..I was done! Right now I am not feeling so hot..but when I got home, I took a eucalyptus bath and am in the for the rest of the day with lots of fluids and vitamin hopefully this will pass quickly.

truth be told, I may have gone in part becasuae of a call i got earlier that informed me of a person I have known for serveral years through a board I serve on that died this morning from a massive heart attack. It was a real shock. She was a hard worker and someone who had a very very tough job...not overwieght at all..and I was so saddened to hear of her passing. I can only imagine what this woman has endured over the years doing the work she has been involved in. She stuck with it and as the person who called me said, she was very good at what she did.

In my ripe old age of 43, I  have learned that you just never know when you will be called, but it just got me thinking and as I worked out on that eliptical...I kept thinking about her. I pray she has peace and her family as well.

Such sudden death brought me back. The first person I remember dying unexpectedly of a massive heart attack was my grandmother lois. My dad got the call..i must have been around 14. I was with him on summer break. We were told just to come over to her home. As we turned up the street, I saw the ambulance and police and neighbors standing around. I remember jumping out of the car before it stopped and running into, past all the men standing around, the side porch and as I entered the den, I was enveloped by the soft arms and perfumed laced embrace of my Grandmother's best friend Dorothy. I knew she was gone. I knew what had was just too much to bear. As I calmed down, I found out that she was at her vanity removing her makeup when it happened....and had Dorothy not checked on her...well, may not have known for a much longer time. I saw what heart attacks could do....

Things have happened since, not withstanding Windell's death such a short time ago...but this morning was another reminder. It does not mean that I have to live in fear. I know that is no life at all....but it is more motivation..more life affirming incentive to be the best I can be today and treat that remarkable muscle in my chest with more care and love...treat me better in other words.

I have to say as I left I saw one of my favorite people who is in her 70s as I left the gym...she is someone who has cared enough about me to give me good advice over the years and she is an amazing friend...and this morning she became a grandmother again. I love her with all my heart and it was so great to see her working out! she is a great power of example. Her daughter too..and with our sharing about the baby, it was the balance that is in the world...Haiti is still tragic, so much is going on and there is so much need, and a life passed suddenly...but there was the birth of a great new life, she and I were in the gym doing good things for our lives, and the possibilities for more of a great day lay ahead....all in all...Life is Good....and always, in all things, in all times, in all ways, God is good!

1 comment:

livetodream34 said...

Hope you feel better soon. Keep up the good work.