Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 389: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I discovered that if you are using google reader or getting this in email, if I post a video or "vlog" you are not getting them.. So, I am going to better about sednign the link casue sometimes it really does help to be able to do the vid rather than type so that I can post what I am thinking about or information that I find. It is just quicker.

Not that I want you to have to hear the sound of my voice (which apparently I LOVE according to my friends and my partner! LOL!) and my big ole head that you have to look at when I video..but it is quicker.

Today's video is about "what does your table look like"

and here is the link to the vid:

basically, it is about the show "you are what you eat from BBC America and this nutritionist who gets folks to write down what they eat in a week (on their bad diet) and then puts in ALL on a table for them to look at. It is really disgusting when you look at it all, if I am to get healthy..what do I want my table to look at and actually, what does my table look like now..
For me today, the biggest issue is how big do i want my table to be..still a work in progress!
Thanks be!

here is a link to the show:
it is really powerful!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 388: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Sunday night and I just saw a friend post that he wants a weekend "do over'. I am totally with him. I do not feel all the rested and not sure I am ready for the week ahead...but, I this past week has been a good one and I have busted tail on a couple of levels.

Adam has wanted me to do some "building" on each session we have had has been about a specific set of muscles this week. Monday: Chest, Wednesday: Legs, and Friday Arms. It was intense, but what was the best part about it was being able to do it! :) The slow build and the progress that i have been on to this point has enabled me to always be saying that I am doing things I never thought I would be able to.

On top of the weight training, I have had a cardio addition in the afternoon on these days. It is new and I am actually doing ok with it. One night I ran and the other I did the elliptical. But the best was Saturday when I got to go to Body Flow! GOd, I love this class! I always wanted to be able to do yoga and tai chi and all that...and this is a combination of all it. It is a but kicker, but it stretches me and allows me to really be more flexible. I wish so much that they would offer this class during the week before work or to start the fact, I have been really confused in looking even at the yoga center that the earliest classes are like at 8? When do all these people work? :) But, at least I got to take class on Saturday...and I was able to do almost everythign that was asked as we went through each level..even the balancing..actually, especially the balancing..and it felt really good!  the toughest part was the tract with the ab exercises....I got a little worn out there...but was able to do most of it. I wish everyone was in this class with me! It is really awesome!

Anyway..on the diet front, it was a great week (except today...Sunday is always a weird day with too much time for snacking)...I really did well with being good to myself and limiting my snacks...I am in the season of the orange right now! these amazing navel oranges are coming in and I am so in love with them!

I have discovered an additive for my food that I am using and the more I read about it the more I am glad I have discovered it! Flax seed! Now, it may not be the most pleasant of conversations, but regulatory issues are a big one for diet and health! I can assure you that before this change, there were some major issues. Treating my digestive system well and doing some natural things with watching cholesterol etc is awesome and this stuff does not taste bad and is perfect in most foods!  
I love me some Cosco again, because they sell it in bulk in addition to the protien bars that are so awesome that I have been using! The protein bars are particularly important now as I build a little and need to be very aware of the calories and sugars that some of them have! The ones I found a cosco have 2grams of sugar and are only 200 calories! Of course, like anything else,  can't eat them like Candy, but they are a good addition to my work outs and start in the am and part of one for a snack!

Anyway...This week is full of neat things that are coming up and I am excited about it! I will find some rest here and there throughout.

It is an awesome life! thanks be!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 384: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I am more sore than I have ever been since all this started and it is on purpose (or so I am told!)..not that that makes it feel better, but there is, apparently a method to this madness...and I pray that there are indeed results! LOL
Monday we did my chest and today it was my legs...apparently Friday it is Arms...So...while I am barely able to lift my arms or Friday..the good news is that I won't have to worry about being able to pick anything up, so i can just lay in bed and veg till I heal! LOL!

No, really, I have lost so much weight, but it is time to put on some more we are hitting it pretty hard in that way. Today was pretty incredible actually..I was able to do lunges with 25 lb weights in my hands! I did 400 lb...yep..400 lbs on the leg press and was over 110 on the leg extension and leg pull back thingy and then some! It was an awesome feeling!

So now, I am just sitting back with some warm wonderful brownies to celebrate all that working out!
Pysch! LOL! I am loving some brownies..but no worries...I am not ruining the efforts from this morning...they are the most amazing, healthy wonderful things I could have..and NO..they are not THAT kind of I am not High...they are Black Bean Brownies! watch the vid:

I am so grateful to Jenni for showing me these. In all honesty, I have really missed having some dessert and most of the stuff that you buy is really this is so nice. I was able to find this as well:
Bush's has it's own recipes and they give some alternatives and different flavors.
It is amazing how my looking around I continue to find things that will help me to enjoy food and have really great things, but now be so unhealthy!

Anyway, I am COMPLETELY exhausted! I am off to write two emails and hit the sack!
Night all!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 382: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

This has been a very strange, but powerful day.

We got up and off to the gym this morning. I am so proud of Michael that he has gotten past the month and is still going! It feels really good to be going together. He goes and does his thing and I train and we meet up at the end. It is awesome

Adam had a plan for "building" some muscle for me this morning and we were off...push ups, pull ups (assisted, but so cool that I don't need help from him!), what I like to refer to as the Catholic Prayers station...on my my knees, pulling down...while looking up...then standing and pulling from both sides doing bear hugs with weights....then jumping jacks...the hypers with 25 pounds added, then the pull thingy and push thingy....and rinse and repeat! Oh...but wait..I got to add to the push ups with the SLOW pushups....slow down...slow up...and repeat...oh...that was fun! But, i did the routine and while intense. it was great. We even blew off some steam while i kicked his tail grappling! LOL!..ok, maybe I did not win..but for an old man, I held my own!

Left there feeling great to start the day and got to work and it is sooo busy...and then the strange/powerful things happened....opportunities to connect with those in need, productive work, meetings that were tough, but shared some things that were so powerful....and in the midst of it all, I just felt this sense of peace. It was really powerful. It is hard to explain..
but at the end of the day, I was know what i mean....I just needed a release and went for a run...I ran well! I ran hard too and released anything negative and celebrated all the good was so nice. Adam had suggested I try and do some cardio today...and it was the perfect thing for me.

I am also going to be journalling all that I eat this week to see where I am with that.

All in all it was an amazing day!
thanks be!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 381: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

 This will not become a weekly blog, but this week was a marathon! There was a full moon this week and if the moon really does have an effect, it was evident everywhere I turned. Work was intense, all the non-profit stuff I am involved in was intense and it seemed like there was just a lot going on in peoples lives as well!

But I showed up at the gym ran this week and did pretty well on my eating fact the works out were absolutely intense this week! I am doing lunges! I was absolutely incapable of doing A lunge much less lunges with weights a year ago and now my the work out this past week was 15 lunges per leg, then 20-25 REAL push-ups on the bozo ball, then 15 plank pull up things...this is where you plank on top of 20 lb barbells and lift the weight up alternating sides! (awesome!), then 15 over the head presses on balancing on the bozo ball, then jumping jacks, then the hyper extensions, the 20 crunches, 20 byccyle crunches, 20 side to side crunches, 20 leg lifts..and 20 curls, and 20 pull downs..and repeat three times! It was and is incredible that I could do that and get through it! Actually, now that I am writing it, I am flipped out that I actually did it! LOL! But I did! It is astounding that after all this time, this has come to pass and I can still even grow form here!

What was even better was watching Adam have so much success this week with Clients and speaking and so much good stuff! It is awesome!

It all goes to show that by making that first step, there is a chance to do things that I could never have dreamed before....and still dream more!

Thanks be to God!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 375: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

The last few days have been awesome, but Saturday was the best!

I started the day by making sure that I showed up and made a new class a priority to get the Yoga that I have wanted into my life really started. Oh, I got some yoga...some tae chi and some pilates and more out of this class called "body flow". It was amazing.

Before the class started I found out from the front at 02 that the owner of the gym was there. I have not been able to met Michael Olander and have been wanting to and to tell him about not only the journey that i am on because of the opportunity that his gym provided, but about what kind of trainer he has in Adam. I was able to do just that.  I think i scared the manager, brian, when I knocked on his door and he may have thought I was coming to lodge a complaint! LOL, but he soon found out that I was there to thank them. I was able to tell Michael about how much Adam has been serving the community, about the gift of life and health he had given me and what the membership at 02 meant for me. One of the things I have learned over the years is to do everything possible to find a way to thank those who bless not only me but who are a blessing.

I left the meeting and went into the new class. I have to tell you that going into these classes is intimidating with all these people. I am as self conscious as the next person, but I work really hard a focusing on why I am there and try and block out others except for the person leading the class.

The instructor for Body flow is megan and she was the person who led the Body Combat class. I thought it was interesting that her fire in that class would be translated into something that was supposed to move at such a different pace. What I found in this class was that while Body Combat was fast past and kept my heart rate up, Body Flow worked me harder because in the movements that we are making, there is a great deal of control, balance and the use of the whole body..but it is amazing! What was so amazing was my balance! When I first started with Adam, I was not able to stand on one foot without the support of holding on to something. Here, in this class, I was holding the pose on one foot, then extending out and then straight back with a flat back and bent knee! OMG! It was incredible! After all this time I am able to do things I never dreamed of and it felt so good!

I was unable to do only one of the exercises..but wow! I want more of this!

I left the class energized, renewed and surprisingly spry!

The rest of the day was just going and enjoy with Michael and having encounters with good people!
Thanks be to God!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 372: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Well, I wish I could say what a difference a day three LOL! ...but actually I am doing better than I was on Monday..partly because we are back to a little normal, no snow life, and partly because I SWEAR everytime I have turned around this week i have had some message, some person, some thing that reminds me to keep it positive....keep it focused on things that move me through the dull drums and keep me on track...even in my sleep.

No, really. The other night we left the tv on when we fell asleep. When I was half awake, half asleep this tv preacher that i actually like (and yes there are some that are not total con artists) was on first thing and she kept on talking about the appropriate things that you can do with your keep it clean..she was talking about how you can speak positively...keep the things that are coming out of your mouth those things that are positive and affirming..blessings. I was awakened being reminded to start the day be grateful to have another day..have the life I have...have the very existence that I have...

So all the things that I am worrying about and all the things that I am picking on myself about and being down about are drowned out by affirming, it does not make what aches, or what feels bad go away, but there is perspective...a chance at viewing what there is that is so very powerful in this life.

It REALLY helped...

I went to the gym and worked hard. I was less concerned about the slowness of my weightloss these days and really saw how in shape I am getting and was able to hear Adam as he actually praised me for having to work harder because I was in such great shape. I even heard a few compliments. See, i don't know about you, but I have a "fat" sieve in my brain. here is how it works. When a compliments comes to me from someone...the compliments go through these little holes. Each hole has a filter of things like "yeah..but your stomach is still not tight".."you still have that turkey neck" "God, you are 44, you will never really be healhty" "is that a bald spot on your head?"...oh yeah...that filter's out a lot of the compliments and I fight with that stuff...not so much fight with it as hear it and then go...Wait just a daggone minute...I am perfect just like God made me and I am so healthy today, doing great things and I look great...but you see..after years of not seeing myself in a positive takes practice...I know, cause I have heard it from so many others...that I am not alone here.

I love me. Yep, I can say that today. God don't make no junk. But Lord that Fat sieve in my brain can drain me of some really good things somedays..particularly in times like these when I am off the beam or going through a seasonal time. Makes me kind of ripe for the picking to do something stupid that makes it worse...but, not this time. This time, there was that voice I heard as I awoke, a lunch with a great friend I am becoming closer to, a really amazing embrace that I so needed at home, productivity at work, getting out of myself a little and focusing on others...a talk with my mom too...and prayer...lots of prayer...

So, I went to work out.

Do you all realize that when Adam took my pulse at the height of my working out it was only 120? Un-freakin-believable...Think about it..a year ago..he would have had me stop and rest because i would be tipping over the 170 and I would have been working at half the weight and effort! Now, it takes more to get my heart rate to a burn area.

That sounds like bad news...but what is so good about it is that my body is recovering in some good ways and I am getting better and doing better. More good news.

Tonight, I did as he asked and when I ran I did not focus on the lenght but on my heart stayed above 147 the whole time and i had a great run! I am sure that I did thre miles...but I know I burnt up the road!

It was and is a better day!

thanks be to God!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 369: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman's confession time, and I don't mean to skulk to the key board like a Roman catholic going to the booth to admit some cardinal sin...but I have some hope that my sharing, it will reconnect me somehow.

I have just been feeling BLAH the last few days. And the last few days have been spiritually odd...and, well, off. It is hard to explain, but when we anticipated a snow day and I did not want to cook..yep...Incredible pizza showed up at the magic..NOT! I made a conscious decision to feed whatever it was that was disquiet inside me. I have been craving red meat...carbs...and so when the time came and it all aligned...not only a pizza, but a quesidilla as well. Of course the feeding was not as bad as the past, I orderd a veggie pizza from the healthiest pizza place in town..and the quessidilla was a cheese one..but I knew what i was doing: feeding being off. Feeding a feeling of not feeling right. And no matter what, it was not, it is not good.

Now, here is the deal...I know what is happening around me...change of season after Christmas, a lot of happy emotional and stressful emotional things..change in the house as we put away Christmas...and then letting in the world and all that went on around us this weekend...and I know more and and how that gets to me on the inside. 

I need to say this out walk through this and "change a thought, move a muscle".  Today when I was feeling my worst, I went for a walk on campus in the snow. It was beautful. As I finished the walk, Adam called and wanted to make a snow "person". My first inclination was to say no and crawl back into bed. But something inside me said I needed to do this.  It was the best decision...i had a ball and we made the most absurd, wonderful snow "woman" (Adam's choice! LOL!) ever! It got me out of myself and made a was moving a muscle and got my thoughts on something outside of me and my own stuff.

The rest of the day has been spent taking care of some things that make me happy..working on non-profit stuff, uploading photos, filling out some cards..and tonight...when I wanted to make pasta nad have "one more night of comfort food"..I thought about how often I had fed my "comfort" and how much that led me to 348 pounds....and how unhappy, more importantly that had and does make instead..i opened the blanched broccoli and brussel sprouts and warmed them..then cooked some chicked with tomato sauce and a dollop of those Idaboan Poataoes. It was a feast and made me feel better because I had done something healthy and good...But as I was eating it, I began a gratitude list of things in the immediate:

a Higher Power that is watching out for me (always)
I have a husband that is here for me
a best male friend who can get me out of myself and have some fun with doing something silly!
food prepped in the frig that is healthy that I can reach for
this blog to share this with others
activities that keep me focused on important things
and most importantly, a journey that is one day at a time, so that whatever happens, It is just about today...and tomorrow holds promise beyond anything I can imagine.

thanks be to God.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Day 365: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Epiphany (from Koine Greek (τὰ) Ἐπιφάνια, epiphania "appearance", "manifestation) I am not trying to be sacrilegious AT ALL, but it is serendipity that today is the one year anniversary of the first day that i stepped into O2 to work with Adam and it coincides with Epiphany! I happen to be one of those people that believes that there are no coincidences and really savor the joy of the day, both in my religion and in the manifestation of this new phase that was brought in to my life...this absolute gift that is and was as much spiritual as anything in my life thus far. 

Now, in looking over the first posts, I realized that I am not sure that I ever really told the story of how this all started. I have told this story so often this year that I assume all know..but on this day, the first anniversary of this wonderful journey, I want to write it down.

I had been struggling with my weight all my life. But since 1999 I had put on over 100 pounds, was diagnosed with diabetes and had begun to develop a number of stress related problems as well as some debilitating back issues.

I was, however, no less active in community work and wanting to be involved. I just kept going and while I was at it, I grabbed whatever was the most convenient to eat..usually something from a drive through and never accompanied by exercise or by eating regularly. I was just not taking care of myself at all.

One of my friends and a mentor of mine literally had a massive heart attack right in front of me and died one night at dinner. It was at a very special dinner and while his passing was most certainly eye opening, so much happened as a result of his death in my own life that i did not have time to really learn at the time from his passing.

However, as life would have it, and in my view God, by his passing I was asked to get on the leadership team of the Heart Association in the Cape Fear. I can remember going to functions and listening with half an ear to what was being discussed and what was being handed out..but seeds were being planted as I particpated.

But, I was too busy. Then my breathing became so short going up stairs, I began to not be able to swallow my food without...well, let's just say I would have to take very small bites and most of the time I would end up losing some of it..and then there was the chest pain.

I ended up in the office of Dr. Buchanan at Coastal Cardiology. They did full scans and lit me up like a christmas tree. I had reached 348 pounds and somehow, when all was said and done, I did not have any blockages. But i was told, at my age, the amount of stress, my weight and blood pressure and diabetes, I had to make a decision or make plans to leave this earth early.

I was at a loss. I had tried every exercise program and failed. I bought the WII board and was too heavy for it. I bought a bike and it was too much for me. I tried a gym and then was ashamed to go.
Finally, I bought a bow flex and my very good friend Kristi came over to show me how to use it.
I still think to this day that she knew I was not going to follow through. It was not too long after she showed me how to use that that she and my friend Ashley met a trainer at 02 fitness named Adam Freeman.

Adam had moved here from Charlotte. He and his then wife Aimee were trying to re-build their lives after one of the most traumatic events any two parents could ever encounter: the loss of a child. They had a beautiful little girl, Kayleigh Anne Freeman, who was born into this world premature. So premature that she was the smallest child ever to undergo open heart surgery and survive. Their struggles and Kayleigh's story was astounding and when Kristi met Adam Kaykiegh had been dead for about 5 months, yet he told her that he did not have a lot of money, but he had learned through that event that giving was the best way to live. Kayliegh's life had taught them that love was above all else the most importnat thing and not much else mattered. He wanted to give and pay it forward as it were to help others with heart issues.

Kristi, who happened to also be a close friend of Ashley, who had taken over the heart association here locally, who both happened to be close friends of mine, had an idea.

the next thing I knew they came to me and offered that if I would do this publicly, pay it forward by helping others by learning as I was learning, this Adam Freeman would train me for free! All I had to do was show up.

You can go back and read day one. The rest is History.

So, love manifested itself through that. It still does.

Adam just gave someone else the gift of training...He is doing it again. This person is the wife of a very dear man who has served this community and those in need of heart healthy experiences for a long time and who himself is a power of example.

Adam is my brother, my very closest of friends. I am blessed by him as are all who are his clients and friends.  He and his ex-wife HAVE a child, Kayliegh who lives on in all the love that manifests itself in all that transpires now and continues on.

This journey is not is but a year old.

I am glad that you all are along with me. I will continue to "pay it forward" and it does not matter how many read it...even if it is only one..I was only one a year ago and my life is day at a time by this love..not just losing weight...but by living and being the best I can.

Thanks be to God!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Day 361: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

The first week back and things are on track. Monday morning WE went into the gym and it was awesome! Yep, Michael went with me and that was great! He did the treadmill and I went to training with Adam....and Adam had a great deal in store...but what was amazing was that on Monday, to start the new year, we began with whole new levels of ability:

At first I thought it was going to be a normal routine...squat, curl, presses with 20 pound weights..then Adam walked over the assited pull up machine. I have not been on that in quite a while and interestingly the night before i had a dream that I was able to go into the gym and do a chin up without the assistance of the weights on the machine. So, I went over to the machine and hopped on, and while I was certainly not at the point of doing chin ups without some weights on it, I knocked it  out with no problem AND the weight added to the machine is only 150 pounds! It was amazing! WITH Adam helping to push on the weights AND me barely able to get through a whole set, that was the way I did this machine the last time! It was phenomenal!

It was another example of how, a little by little, over time, things...well, I am growing and changing!
To that end, we went to the mirrored area and Adam causally said, "grab the 50's"...I looked at him like he had lost his daggone mind!!!! But he insisted. Now, mind you, since i already reacted in a way that put it to it that there was no way that was gonna work, i set myself up for this to be difficult and as I have said..that is a big no no! But..there I was. I picked them up and I struggled to do sitting squats with them...but sure enough as I whimpered through...I did them!

Then he had me do planks and return to them. Having seen that I could do it the first time and realzing how negative I was being..i decided to approach it more positively..and sure enough the second set went more smoothly..certainly not easily...but more smoothly..and by the third set...It kicked my butt..but I got through it!

Now...that said...I realized that I would NEVER have atttempted that on my own without guidance. It does take help and the belief from others to guide help me see my own potential in many ways and Adam has done that.

The big issue fro a lot of folks is being able to afford a trainer. Adam has set up a personal, online system that is WAY affordable to help those who cannot do the sessions in the gym. This is absolutley affordable and a means to really make this type of program accessible. I pray that folks will use it!

As well, as using this type of program, outing oneself..sharing your goals with others..letting your friends know what you want and that you want to change or get healthy can also be so helpful! 

I cannot tell you how much doing this blog has held me to account for my own success. Sharing this story has helped me to really get honest with myself but also make me think about what I am doing and how I am doing it. And the amazing folks who have shared with me their stories, their support, their love in return has been the very spirtual and mental substance that has kept me and keeps me going! 

tonight I ran down the Shell trail along eastwood road...tomorrow I will get up and go to the gym. After almost a year of this change it is nice to know what I will be doing for myself and moreover, it is nice to give myself the gift of this change.  It sounds cliche, but it was waiting for me for a long time, I just had to unwrap it..and I thank God...yes, even during squat, curl, presses, that I did! 

Thanks be!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Day 358: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman if you noticed the days jumped a little, it is because somewhere during the year my numbering got off. On January 7th it will be 365, so I decided to go ahead and fix it here.

Today is January 1, 2011! the first day of a new year and if today is any indication of the year to come, I will be having a great year!

We got up this morning and went off to the 5k for the Wilmington Area Rebuilding was awesome..the weather has broken from the cold and snow and we had 58 degree weather this morning. I saw old friends this morning and it was such a "warm" way to begin the new year.

The best part was having Michael along and I hope that we will be able to do more of this!
We also got some black eyed peas and cornbread for luck for the year!  I did not beat my top speed for a race, but that was ok. I have to admit I was pushing pretty hard this morning. I was tight through my legs and back for some reason. I did stretch, but I was having to push more than I can remember in a while. I do know that i had not eaten this morning and this race started a little later than most, so I was running on virtually empty. I am going to the have to power up a little next time to feel a little better. I finished at 34 minutes, which is the same as most of my top times..and still down over 12 minutes from the very first race that I ran just 4 months ago...

But what was incredible was when it hit me:

Just a year ago...just 12 short months ago, I could barely walk to the loop without losing my breath or having shin splints, and here I am running the daggone thing!

I can remember seeing pictures back then of my friend Andy. He posted pics of himself after losing 80 pounds in 10 months and getting so fit...I remember the visual of how amazing he looked, but moreover thinking... "he did that in 10 months".."I have 10 months...I can do that"....and by breaking up that 10 months into one day at a time intervals..and really focusing on each I continue to do now...WOW!...I am at this point. Now...imagine where I can go from here....imagine....

So, This morning was a little more for Michael and he needed to rest..and I decided to head out to the beach and had a little time for reflection.

I am not sure I was as articulate about miracles and blessings as I should have been..but you get the idea...there was a lot of work in  this this year..but there was the gift that Adam gave me...the intervention from Kristi and Ashley...and at every turn there has been something..someone....things that have helped to make this real, alive, viable for others....and hopefully...all of it has been of use and has been something that has helped others...

well, we have more to do...more to uncover..more to learn...God, that is so exciting!
thanks be to God!