Saturday, May 29, 2010

Day 145: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

productive saturday! not a lot of rest yet, but will get there hopefully tomorrow and monday!  got going about 8:30 and made my breakfast. I was trying to talk myself into going out..but I had slices of canadian bacon, eggs, fat free cheese, whole wheat toast and yummy polaner, sugar free all no reason to go spending money.
Also, I have been drinking black cofee and I really have started to love it. I love ours at home becuase we have the fresh market morning blend and it is nice and mild. I like doing for myself. Michael is at his mother's this weekend and I miss him, but it is a chance for me to take care of me..and at least I started the day doing that! I have also added a muti-vitamin to my regime. I gotta say, i can tell the difference..i do feel better! I have not decided on which one to take yet. I have been using samples so far from Tidal Creek, Lovey's Health Food Market, and a regular grocery store one. I know I do not want any fillers and all that, but I will decide soon. I have been looking around on the internet and reading up on is about time I start reading about what is best for me! LOL!
Also, my dietician recomended that I add metamucil or something like it for fiber. I have for the last two weeks and it too has made a real difference. This is something none of us like to talk about, but I have found it is REALLY important. Heck, just taking time to take care of that function was not part of my routine before. It is absolutely essential..and frankly, I would rather take care of myself  than worry about not talking about uncomfortable things. we need to be healthy, inside and out! :) Although I just realized that this entire discussion reads like one of the Massengill commercials from the 70's where nothing is every said, but all is implied! LOL! oh well...i guess we all get it...and I do not need Activia Yogurt to get there!
Got our car serviced and then was invited to have lunch with my mom and step dad and my mom's friends from grad school. It was really nice and I have a great time. After, I got my butt in gear and went to the gym. I wanted to take the day off, but since yesterday I did cardio and not training, i needed to do training today since Adam was out of town. I think i did pretty well on my own..although I never feel like I do enough when I am by myself. I did three sets of 25 lbs barbell presses (one in each hand laying down), three sets of one armed lawn mower cranks (that is what I call bend over the bench...put your hand to steady yourself and with a 30 pound weight in one and you lift back so that your elbow goes by your side and upwaards with the weight) is like trying to crank a push mower....and I did three sets on each side (each hand). I did three sets of squats with 25 lb weights in my hands (yes I did Adam! :) ), I did two sets of the torture chair..oh yeah..have not talked about this fun item..this is a high chair..and no, you don't get strained prop yourself up on your elbows and then, they look at you as if it is no big deal and tell you to lift your legs...12 times! The first time I did it I want to scream...but today, I was able to do 12, twice! felt pretty proud of between sets I did 5 minutes on the bike...80rpms and then every 30 seconds up to 120rpm at level 10. then I did three sets of leg presses, three sets of rows, three sets of inny and outty small muscle machine for the legs.  and i biked over and I got my work out! :)

the rest of tonight will be spent packing most of the house up. We are having wood floors put in downstairs. It is a big step and we have a lot of stuff to move out to have this done, so I am methodically getting things put up, boxed up and ready for this new addition. After the floors comes the paint, so it will be an interesting summer! :)

thanks be!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Day 144: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

the rest of the week has been amazing and so productive! Since my last post, or should I say, small tirade about fat in take out! LOL, I have had some redemption in eating and great works and lots of productivity!

Wednesday morning I got up and got to training. Adam was in a mood to expand my horizons with still more machines I have not been on yet. It is hard to believe i have not been on some..but I have several I am still learning about. I did two more machines that are leg presses, which is good, becusue when it is busy, it is nice to have option for using machines. I also got to use a machine that squeezes the small muscles on the inside of the thighs and then when your reverse the action, works that outer. It is amazing how intense that can get very quickly. Adam had me do sprints on the bicycle in between each set and by the end I certainly felt accompished!  and was off to work.

I missed a luncheon that I was to attend on wed because work was very busy, but that was ok..I like it busy and I felt like I was getting a lot done. I made grilled hamburgers with corn and mixed greens for us for dinner. Hamburger is now the only red meat that we are eating. In the first few months. I was wanting a steak. But as things progressed, I just lost the taste for steak. Maybe I will want it again, but for now, the 93/7 lean hamburger, grilled and seasoned is just really good to me and I enjoy it very much. It is nice because michael likes them too!

Thursday was a great day at work too, but afterward, i went to a leadership Wilmington Alumni gathering and then off to they gym. When I got there, I was feeling tired and it was getting late, but I got on the elliptical and started at level 14. It was tough from the begining. I have been trying to stay above level 10 as I have progressed as Adam has reccomended and still do my sprints. About 15 minutes into, I had a cramping pain in my side that would not allow me to breath and I had to get off the machine. I stepped off and caught my breath and the cramp subsided. I got back on the machine and did two more sprints, but decided to finish the remainder of the last 15 at level 12 with no sprints. It was a good work out, but at that level, it was very intense.

I have learned that I am never to work through Pain...pain is a myth in working out. However if it is "tough" or if there is some tension, strain, or something like that..that is to work through..there is growth in that. This is not the emotional fact if there is pain, I can hurt myself. Even with the weight loss so far, I am still watching my heartrate, I still take care to watch my form (probably now more than before since he is loading more and more weight on me and I have to be careful) and I am paying attention to twinges and things so that i can enjoy another day of growing! :)

Today was quite the adventure! I planned to bike downtown and when I got up this morning I tried to talk myself out of it two or three times. It is only 6 or so miles, but I have not traversed downtown yet and it is a journey with activity in between before I come back.. But I just put on my helmet, made sure there was an apple, a bottle of water and tunes and I was off....
I really wanted to see what the new Ann Street Bikeway was like, but what was really nice was seeing how the river to the sea bike way is like all the way. It is clearly marked and a very nice ride (for the most part). There are clearly marked signs along the way and it is a journey that takes one along the old trolley way that once existed. What great neighborhoods and a variety of the city you get to see. It gets a little hinky in some crossings, but for the majority of the is awesome. The only thing that need be prepared for is the journey back. Remember, you go, as the song says "down to the river side"...the operative word being "down". the three block climb back up to level riding is, well, leg building for sure! :)

While I was downtown, I volunteered for the Downtown Ambassador's program. It is a great idea of Wilmington Downtown Inc. to get volunteers to help visitors, be hospitable,  and just to be a friendly face to our town. I walked the downtown area for 2 hours and had a wonderful time! The cool things was I never got too tired and was ready to come back on my bike! Folks, that would have NEVER been possible 6 months ago...I could never have volunteered like that...never been able to bike...none of it! So grateful! So very grateful!

So, a new adventure and a great day!
thanks be!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Day 141: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

I don't think since I started this journey i have written an entry where i have talked about being really angry...well, today, I can assure you that if it were not for the fact that my mother reads my entries religously, i would invoke language that would be less than endearing!
I have just had a lesson in looking AT EVERYTHING I EAT! I MEAN EVERTHING! You all know that I have shared I have tried to be so careful about eating out and finding foods that when I am just to busy and to overwhelmed I can rely on. I truly believed that Pita Delite was a place I could go to and have been going to, sometimes three times a week during all this. Well, tonight, Michael and I decided to get a sub..something i have not done since this began. We went to Jersey Mike's and they told us that the turkey and the ham were 99% fat free. I decided to look it up when I got home and found the sandwich was over 1000 calories. I was not that worried about it because my calorie count was low for the day, but they were not accurate at the counter about the nutritional info..and having the little book that I bought a while ago that has calorie and fat count in it is best to keep in the car so I can make that choice before we buy.

But, while i was on the computer, I decided to enter my favorite salads from Pita Delight. the 1074 calories was pretty astonishing..but what got me angry was the 51 to 77 FAT grams that were in the salads!!!!  This got me angry! You are probably thinking what Michael said, which is "but you have been eating these and still loosing all this weight"...but for me, that is not the point...I am supposed to have 1/2 that fat in a DAYS fat and I want to be for this to have been part of my diet is not helping me make the change I want to fully make. I am not working my tail off on that daggone elliptical to have to deal with making it harder by putting in my body things that stunt the changes that I am making. I did not ask and assumed that by cutting back on some of the dressing that this was much healthier than it actually is. I just need to ask each and every time I go places for prepared foods and make decisions myself and not have them made for me by those who present foods as healthy only to have them riddled with unhealthy ingredients. I don't want to be a Marie Callendars pot pie any more. I want my heart to flow unimpeded by plaque..I love not breathing heavily..and i love feeling lighter and more free physically and mentally!

Now, I realize, pita delite is a hell or a lot better than a double thick bacon burger and fries from burger king or the chic filet with vanilla shakes. I am in no way beating up on myself..and as I am writing I am a little calmer..realizing that this is just another, well, daggonit (and yes that is a replacement word), a blessing..because as my eyes have become open to paying attention to things around me, I have been able to make better choices for myself and do better for me!

ALl in all, I am one lucky, blessed man. I am just going to continue to enjoy this in ways that help me make the healthiest choices I can!

thanks be!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Day 138: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

what a great Saturday...course it came after a great Friday!

Friday morning I had a great training session with Adam. He had me do a pull up on a lower bar where i pull myself up while i am propped on my legs. It was awesome! I could not believe I could do it! but not only could i do it, but I did 3 sets of 12! :) it was AWESOME! we had one little hinky moment when I lost my temper when he had me take 35 pound dumb bells in each hand and lean against the cirque de se bo ball and do squats. The weight of the dumb bells just hung to heavy and I was leaning on the ball too much so that it was killing knees. I am NOT good at not doing something I pouted like a 2 year old cause I could not do it..and snapped a little at Adam who kept trying to get me to re-set. He was a patient friend, and reminded me that I am not going to be perfect at everything (oh yeah...I am still learning, growing and evolving..imagine that..duh)..I have to admit..realizing I was pissed at not being able to do this made me see how impatient I can still be, but that was good because I need to take a deep breath sometimes and regroup. Course,  as soon as he got me off the ball and had me do regular squats (which I hate still...for the record) I was fine..and could do them and I got my focus back. Alls well that ends well!
He had me run the bronx hopscotch..but this time said that if I touched the lines I had to start over again!...oh yeah..he likes to ratchet it up a little...but, aside from not picking up my feet once, I was able to get through without messing it up! :)

After work we had such a great time going out to Airlie Gardens with friends for time together...listening to the imitations...just relaxing and enjoying! I am less self-conscience about my size and actually danced a little with a new friend of ours. Even taught her a few basics of shag! It was so freeing to just be able to enjoy and not feel as worried about how I looked..and feel really good and healthier and enjoy our company.
The other side was being able to get up and down easily from the folding chairs. Last year at this time we went out to a concert and I was barely able to fit in one of the folding chairs and evertime I got up it was a struggle. Dancing was not even an issue. Just sitting was. We take for granted simple things sometimes when our health gets out of hand. Hell, I can go the movies and sit in the chairs and fit today..that was becoming an issue.  Even worse was going to restaurants and having to wait for a table because in most cases, I could not sit in the was getting that bad. Each thing that comes, each change that happens is just one more blessing.

Saturday morning I got up early and went to the Rotary district conference and had a great time learning about how to be a more effective rotarian! After, I got back and michael and I had to go shopping for shorts, because event though I got a couple of pair recently, the are already too big and, yes...I bought size 42 shorts and they fit! Remember, it was just January that I was wearing 52..almost 54 inch waist paints...21 inch neck shirts and now I am in 42's and wore an 18 inch neck shirt last week and I could get my finger in the collar! :) Little by little it is changing...I am changing and getting healthier.

I got home and hoped on my bike and rode over to 02 and did the elliptical. I ratcheted it up to level 14 and did sprints for the first 15 minutes. I never did go under level 10! It was amazing. I biked back and decided to bike a little more. I am very conscious of not overdoing my back with the bike..but I am enjoying it so much, so I allowed myself  a little more! It was great.

I got to thinking, frankly becuase I was beating myself up for eating too much hummus (I really have to stop doing that! I mean, first of all, beating one's self up does ABSOULUTE nothing to help move things forward and moreover, my overeating or my "slips" these days consist of an extra sugar free eskimo pie or a handfull of crackers...not a box of little debbie's! so, ur um..lighten up BO!)
and I got to thinking about a show that I was watching religiously right before this change began called "you are what you eat" on BBC america. This dietician, Jillian, would take everything that you eat and drink in a week and place in on a table for you to see. I can remember at the time cringing at what my table would look like: the pizza's, the fast food, the chips, the butter, sour cream, cheese...all of it...and of course when she does this, what is missing from the table is the color and variety of vegetables and fruits....and that would have been true of mine completely.
well, as I was thinking, I was envisioning my table today....all those mixed greens, the grilled chicken, grilled and broiled/blackened fish, the fresh eggs and whole wheat bread, the yogurt, apples..lots of apples, salad, water, table would be so different and so am I! Frankly it made a huge difference in me and the way I felt over a little hummus and bread crackers! :)
I think that her visual and that techigue was a good one. I am visual person and a visual learner. I never want to think of my previous table being the food that i consume and hurt myself with. life is too short and much of a blessing!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Day 134: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

it has been a great productive week and I can hardly believe that it is thursday!

We had a tremendous luncheon for the community college today and my mother's birthday..and I got to celebrate both at the same time which was awesome! I am so proud of her! The stories from the students were so powerful and it reminds us all that what we give..what we do for others can make such a huge difference in the lives of others in such powerful and life changing ways. Everyone in that room, from those who gave 25$ to those who gave 5k dollars were giving an opportunity that had not existed before.
 As someone who went back to school at 25, I know this to be true...and being in that room, being a part of that is just another blessing.
The luncheon was delicious and we had salmon as an option..and I ate salmon! :) Yes, I am becoming more and more of a fish eater and loving it. But the culinary students made these AMAZING cakes at each table for the guest. The smell was overhwelming of that perfectly iced cake. Of course, being a table host, I cut and served the guests..and got the cake on my fingers.  I could smell the sweet icing..and it was SOOO tempting! Now, for a lot you, you are probably thinking.."why not have a piece" well, for me, I have learned that I have some triggers. And cake is one of them. If I were to have this, I would want more and probably would have more and at the end of it, would just feel miserable. There are so many wonderful things that I can have in my life that make me feel good, that make me feel vital, and that do not trigger me wanting more and more, so I am of the mind now..why do that to, I got to enjoy watching others enjoy it...and that was wonderful. The only time I complained (and really was joking) was when they made ME carry the left over cake out to the car for mother! :) LOL!

The day was capped with our first Oyster Roast Committee meeting for Airlie Gardens after work and while their were goodies all around and wonderful company, I enjoying the time, and then bid everyone good evening and came home, got dressed, and biked over to 02 and did my cardio! It felt great. I can have the time at the things that I love and still get my workout in. I just have to keep on track.

I am so grateful for today and for all those who I live this life with..for my mother, stepfather...for Michael!..and my amazing much!
thanks be!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Day 133: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

love some mondays! LOL! rolled out of bed and headed to the gym. It was a thunder storm at 5:30 when I first cracked my eyes open and it was so easy to snuggle back under the covers! :) I loved to hear that thunder outside...but I got up after a while and headed out the door. Adam was like a spring bunny when I got, I am pretty nauseating when it comes to be chipper in the morning..Adam has me beat..hands down! LOL!
He had a new plan of for me I like to call the Bronx Hopscotch! all scotch(course I don't drink booze..but to jump up and down one has to think..and you better run fast through it for someone kicks your ass! :) was a latter on the floor and you get to jump in and out of these little squares..REPEATEDLY..and, what is worse, you have to be coordinated! Aside from the jiggle that is still left in my body..and NO, we will not go there on video thank you very much Adam!, just trying to get my footing while Adam said Faster, faster..reminded me of going to social dance at St. Thomas Moore with Mrs. Bagby when I was little and trying to figure how to count, be graceful and not kill the person i was dancing with all at the same time. BUT, I did it! :)..and as he encourgaged me I got faster and I got better.

In between the hop scotch, I did weights and this was about how many can I do to exhaustion. Exhaustion is good according to Adam and I am VERY good at that! HA! But what was really cool was when he had me do push-ups..I got to 20 before I hit the ground in one run of them! :)

All in all it was a great work out and I do like doing something new from time to time..even if i have to get on teh bozo ball and run a maze! LOL!

the rest of the day went well. I did have coffee after work with a friend who I never had a lot of time to spend with. It was good that we got to talk. He has terminal cancer and the clock is running out faster than i was aware of this until spoke. It was a powerful converstation on a lot of levels. Most importantly becuase here is a man facing the last year if not months of his life, father of three, husband, and he wants to talk about a research project which is an extension of his whole life's work that is about helping men in particular be better, healthier, and more loving in the world. He is spending his time LIVING in the now..working at what makes him tick..but giving as he always does and trying to help others NOT DIE. We talked about the stupidity and the ignorance of a generation that does not get it and an older generation that stopped caring about taking care of themselves and what to do to make them want to care. He had written this amazing article about a youth that had already become so hardened to the possibilities of the risks he was taking in his life just to feel connected, just to feel loved. It was so moving..but here he is..working till his last days to try adn give that kid..and all like him something..anything that will make it better. TALK about inspiration. And when we did talk about his cancer..there was a depth and beauty of sincerety in his eyes and response when he talked about a friend who asked, "don't you find this unfair'?" and he said to me..NO..I don't beleive in fair..was it fair that I had great parents and others didn't..that I was born here and not a third world hovel, that I have the priviledges and life I have" etc. It was so real how he "got it" present he was and how much I felt a connection and love for this friend who was so in touch.
I have to admit, I have survived on borrowed time these 21 years...I am a very lucky man...very blessed too (and yes those things are VERY different). But I am still not sure how I would react under those conditions. I hope it would be like him...LIVING..BEING...IN the moment...and having that perspective. I was honored to be there to listen!

What a day.
Thanks be to God!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Day 131: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

what a great saturday! we got going about 10am and went off to sweet and savory for breakfast! I am a nut these days for feta, spinach and tomato combos so I had that in an omlete with fresh shrimp! Great way to start the day! we decided that we had to do some chore before we could play so we cleaned out my car that is the dumping ground for all my running around. You can imagine that we had to roll the trash can around with all the mess we had to get out of it! LOL! But we did manage to get it pretty clear and felt like we had accomplished something! So, were off to look at wood floors for the house, which we found and will have put in and having satisfuied a cleaning duty and a household need duty...we were free to do at least one fun thing.
the Orton Plantation has been sold and will be closed to the public starting june 1st. so we hoped in the car and headed down to see it. We have actually never been in all these years. we tried when we first moved here and it was off season and it was closed. After that, there were tow hurricanes that closed it for a while and then we just never went back. Well, the current owner, Mr. Lawrence Sprunt, came to speak and visit with one of our honors classes this year and I got so hear him and spend time talking with him. He was full of stories and I decided we had to see this place. It is the oldest settled home in North Carolina dating back to 1720 and the plantation was established by a land grant of 8000 acres. In fact just down the road was the begining of the Stamp Act Revolt! Pretty historic Place. Rice fields all around, and alligators, snakes and the like. Lord was that low country living in that place.
When we got ready to go, I cut up two apples and got some pretzels for the ride. In days past for a trip is would have been candy bars, nabs and chips for car rides. I remarked to michael that it took less time to put together that apple than to go into the store and get junk...and the apple slices tasted so sweet on the ride. Another way to save me and us and to enjoy a trip, becuase while we were walking the grounds, I did not have a sugar crash..had all sorts of energy and really was was beautiful and we discovered this place together without the obstruction of not feeling well becuase we were not taking care of ourselves.

 After we came home, I still had not done cardio for the day and was trying to talk myself out of it because we had gone so much. but, nope! this is what I do! :) My friend carol remarked yesterday on my post, when I said that I had shown up despite my own resistance to working out, that that is whey I am going to succeed. I feel like she is right. In 12 step programs, it is said that recovery is not for people who need it, it is for people who want it. A ton of people need to change addictive, bad behavior, but not all of them really and truly want to. I really and truly want this. Enough that i am willing to show up, pray, think, do what i am told, listen, whatever it takes. I guess that is what has made the difference. I will do whatever it takes to be healthier. For me that means that I won't do crash diets, I won't do exercise that hurts me or overdoes things, I won't take additives or medicines that short cut the natural processes becuase I put myself at rish of gaining the weight back, I won't take the easiers softer way, becuase it won't give me the results that i want to live with over all, I won't beat myself up when changes dont happen as fast as I want them (or at least when i am too critical I will talk about it and get OVER IT! LOL)....
and I won't let what others say or do measure my success for me. My success is real each day....

thanks be!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Day 130: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

got up and going this morning..but was dog tired and yes...for a fleeting moment I swear I was going to text adam and tell him that I could not come in! NOT! I was just tired..and hauled my tail in out of the bed and got in the car..put one foot in front of the other and boom..i was there! We had a good session. I confessed my desire to not come in and I was not chastised for it! LOL! I was actually told I could not having to do the one legged drop sets as a reward! I don't think I have explained the latest means by which Adam has been trying to kill...I mean! :) these are called Drop Sets and they are SOOOO Fun....what you do is bring the weight up to the highest that you can handle on the machine that you are on and do a set of 12, and then, without taking a break, drop the weight by 10 or so pounds and do another set of 12, and THEN WITHOUT taking a break, drop the weight by 10 or so pounds and do another set of 12! The first day we did this I thought i would never walk again! But today, I was much better...the only one that I really hate and I mean HATE is the one-legged squats on the horse..and like I said, I was given a reprieve...but I got to do drop sets on the chest press, the two legged horse (squat), the pull down, the cruncher, the back stretcher, and the step ups with jumping up and down on the stairs in between! It is amazing to be able to do this and I really am grateful to Adam to bringing me to this!

the rest of the day was pretty awesome as well!
Got to work and we got busy and then went off to a press conference for a friend, well, you all know her cause she is someone that helped to save my life by being a part of bringing me to this change and new Health..Kristi. Her mother was injured collecting signatures while on the campaign trail and Kristi needed to make the tough call to withdraw from her attempt to get on the ballot as an independent to care for her family.  I am so proud of her for showing up and pursing this, but even more so for showing that priorities are important. She really is a great councilwoman and when the time is right..LOOK OUT!

So, I left there and went to the ribbon cutting of Coastal Horizon Center's Brunswick County Facility! What a great day to have this center that treats mental health, substance abuse and and array of like needs in an area so desperately in need! As a board member it was just so wonderful to see the fufillment of this dream..and to witness the enormous generosity of Mrs. Virginia Williamson who gave the land and more to see that this happened!

I came back, gave myself a good salad and worked the rest of afternoon...then Michael and I went to the greek festival held by St. Nick's. Of all the amazing food i decided to try the Snapper with was AMAZING! and I LOVED every bite! things are definitely changing! LOL! I would have dived into the lamp and all the pastries before..but I enjoyed the food and the time without having to harm me! so very nice! :)

michael and I are committed to having some time this weekend and the greek festival was the begining. Hope you all are having some time for yourselves. Personally I am praying for the earth with the two friends who are dealing with chemo on my mind and surrounding them in prayer...lifting up my friends Julia and Kristi who have really shown what great leadership is all about....and am going to bed tonight knowing that, well..we are all in Very good hands!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Day 129: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

what a full day! I stayed in this morning..cardio day...and new I could do the elliptical this evening! I was right..but forgot that there were some things outside of one event I had planned on that i was to go it was an adventure! :)

I went to work and had a very full day. I am on a learning curve and trying to keep it together as I gain a new handle on what I am doing these days....while doing what i always do at the same time! :) Snuck off for lunch and had great grilled chicken and greens left from last night and then did errands for office. After work, I was lucky enough to go to a friend's to his opening for his hotel. What a wonderful place and so beautiful!

While there I was reminded that another friend was having his launch of a magazine and I had been invited to that and thought it was next, I mention this becuase here is the deal: someone said to me something about how do you do all this and that and the other thing....I quipped back something like always, but the difference in my response these days is that when I respond I add and emphasize that no matter what is going on, I am happy to show up, do whatever, but I am going to make it to my work out, I am going to eat right, and I am going to take care of those things that keep me healthier and on that right track.

So tonight..two awesome people who are there for me and have been good  friends were having special events and I was privileged  enough to share their success with them and be included and healthy enough to be able to be there for them...and that felt awesome..but I was still able to leave and go and do my cardio..then go home...have a salad with Michael and spend come time together before going to bed and having  decent night's sleep. It feels right to make sure that these things are in order. That is what I was sorely missing before. I would go to one thing or another, eating all sorts of mess at the events, grabbing fast food in between and then crashing when I got home because i had no energy and nothing to burn but fat and carbs in my system...I was anesthetizing myself with food. Tonight, I had an apple and a yogurt before I left work. Did not have anything at the hotel...then ate some peanut mix that was in the gift bag...a small amount of fruit and orzo salad at the battleship for the magazine...drank lots of water at the gym and then had my salad and tea at home....not where did I hurt me..and got lots of to see people I I feel and say is a blessed life..this was a blessed day...thanks be!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Day 128: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

k...i am not a slacker...I swear...I let last week, graduation at work for our students, mothers day and all that went on sort of sneak up on me and get me a little overwhelmed and I did not blog..but let me tell has been a wonderful week, 7 days since I last checked in..and no worries about diet and exercise..we have been on track and moving along!

Last Thursday I did not go to the gym in the morning as I knew it was going to be a long day. In my work, we have a major function for our students the Friday morning before graduation that involves them and their families and has grown to about 500 plus people. So, we are now setting it up the evening before. So, Thursday, I was going around doing errands and getting prep work done and I knew that on Thursday evening at 9..we would be setting up the displays (their research posters) the welcome etc. This year, in addition to the set up, I had another graduation celebration to attend for the Lavender, at 5 I went to it..and it was wonderful...I enjoyed the fruit and a bite of the hummus! (:) and when it was done went home, got my gym clothes on and went and worked out. No matter what, I was going to make sure that I got my cardio done. I did 17 minutes of sprints within the full 30 minutes on the elliptical and then I was able to go back to work and work on things..and then go to set up.

Now...I was tired by the time that we were done on Thursday night, but I noticed something significant. I did not have the pain in my back or feet that i remember from last year. I was not short of breath, and frankly, I was still ok when I was headed home. Truly my physical shape after these 5 months has been trans formative and it has effected my work abilities as well!

I got up at 6 am, went to work, had a spectacular event to honor these amazing students, went to another event (which I missed last year because I was too tired and went home and fell asleep because i did not have enough energy!). then about 3:30 my director told me to leave early as a treat and  went and got on my bike, rode to the gym and did my training by myself (Adam knew we could not train on Friday because of the graduation). I was so thrilled that i was able to do this after such a positive but stressful event and take care of me and do what was right be me. Here again..just because there was a big event and I had worked hard did not mean that I did not have to treat myself to a good work out...and that is what this is treating myself to being healthier now...and it is work..but it is making me feel and do and be better everyday!

On Saturday, I got up a little late..but not too...and worked on cleaning the house. It felt good to have some time for this kind of activity. Michael got back from his departmental graduation ceremony and we decided to go by his bicycle. we got him one like mine and for cardio on Saturday...he and I biked to wrightsville beach! It was awesome and I was so proud of him for doing it! That's almost 6 miles to the beach from our front door to the sand! He was not so ready to bike back on his first go round, so I just got on my bike, headed home, got the car and we went to dinner with our bikes on our new bike rack! We had fresh fish at sweet and was wonderful! :) What a fantastic thing to have someone to ride share this be supported by and to support!

On Sunday, we headed down to mother's for mother's day and had a great healthy lunch at her favorite new place, the Surf House, and then went for a beautiful tour of the aquarium. we had  wonderful day and when Michael and i got back, we went for a ride on campus on our bikes..just to enjoy!

Monday's training with Adam was great and the day was awesome.

Tuesday, well just very special. I wrote about how blessed I feel to be the recipient of friendship from Adam and to have come to know the story of his and Aimee's daughter, Kayleigh Ann, who passed away after only 10.5 months. Her life was and is such a blessing in this world to thousands and for me, I feel her spirit everyday in knowing Adam and the gift of life in renewal that has come to me, and as a result of this blog and all the others who have come, to so many others. Tuesday was the anniversary of her passing and a small, but very loving group of people who have been touched and befriended by Adam, gathered at 02 for a balloon release to give prayers and thanks for her life, memory, and legacy. It was very special. The event was about looking outside ourselves, our own needs, desires, concerns, and remembering a life so fragile, but one that made such an indelible mark in the world and continues to do so. 

The day was packed with board meetings and other things going on, but that was the highlight and it was very powerful!

Today has been a good day with training, bike ride over and back and good eating!

So, more to come! but..thanks be to God for all of it!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Day 121: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

I do not know how the days slip by! Here is is WED! Oh has been a good week and I am on track.
This is a little high stress/emotional week as we do our grad ceremony for our students at work. For me it is bittersweet because I see the students who have been with us for four (sometimes 5 *smile*) years graduating and moving on. They are amazing and it is such an honor to be a small part of their growth and development. This graduation breakfast that we do for our students is so important to me becuase it is a way to honor the awesome work they, a little stress..but exctiement!
As a result, I used goldfish as a crutch this week. not the ones in the fish tank..but the little gold snacks! I ate them constantly as I was trying to get the large booklet we do finished. It was not like it was in years past with biscuits in the morning, donuts, large lunch and lots of other fatty snacks..but after i posted the tips on eating on Sunday, I have to say, this was something I had hoped not to do. The good news is this, in all the stress and what was happening was the worst of it. Michael and I went to costco and got our chicken, greens, apples and I got the things to surround me with health and wellness and each morning I have been to the gym and kept up all week with training. Now, if I want to beat myself up over goldfish I can..but i won't. I am talking about it because somehow by talking about it, it helps me to let it go AND to not want to makeit go to a pizza! LOL!
This week will be great and even last night with the elections..there were some good things that happened, and some not so good things...but no need to do anythign that would hurt me..I have not control over anything after the fact. In fact, I had no control before..realizing that I can only do what I can do and the putting myself in God's hands makes for a very serene existence a lot of the time.

I am a very fortunate man....and while today's workout was a little more stenuous than I am used to...well, it should be...i am getting stronger every day! Thanks be!

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Day 118 1/4: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

I have had a few things on my mind lately about eating all these changes. I just went to the grocery store and thought I would write some things down.

First, I was putting away some things in the freeze and buried in the back were two left over packs of stauffer's potato au gratin side dishes. I bought those over the holidays when Michael went to his i bought about 10 of those types of meals, Marie Callendars, Stauffers, all with the intent of eating them while he was gone. Guess I missed to. It is sort of like giving up drinking or drugs and then finding that bottle of vodka months or years later in the attic or under the kitchen sink that you forgot you had hidden "just in case". 36 grams of fat per serving and this has the audacity to say it has two servings!! Please, that would have been one of two I would have eaten with the meal that evening! And while things have certainly changed and I do not think about things like that or even look at them when I am shopping these days...when I saw them in the freezer, I thought for a brief moment.."one won't hurt". BULL! What I have learned about me and what I have learned about health in these months and what i want for me, I know that that crap is not what I need.

But it got me to thinking about the things I am doing and trying to do to stay on was said this took a lot of years of doing it my way that got me here...and it is taking replacing those habits with new ones, one day at  a time to make these changes.

1.) I am not even leaving healhier snacks out on the counter. If triscuits, wheat thins, or anything that I have in my eating plan that I enjoy is just laying out and about...well, I am gonna nibble. It is who I am and I am changing, but it has helped to put things away. Do you know for the first time in years, boxes and bags of snacks have lasted over a week! In some cases they have lasted two or three! That never happened before. I would sit down with the package and eat until they were gone.

2.) I portion out my snacks. I am not taking the package with me and eating out of it. I am portioning out what I can having. While it does not always usually does and I am usually satisfied and enjoy them more. Serving sizes are on the box or bag. Not a hard thing to do! :)

3.) I keep apples in the fridge and I also keep no sugar added fruit cocktail, peaches and pears in the cabinet. There is never any excuse for me not to have something sweet...a fruit...with those on hand. I used to buy fresh fruit and it would go bad becuase i would forget about it or ignore it. Now, at home and at work I ahve these choices that are awesome and last a long time and are always there and they satisfy!

4.) I keep sugar free fruit pops on hand. I LOVE THESE! these are often my salvation and I love them. They are tasty and a treat and when I can't pray away or just get through a craving they really satisfy! I love them and they are 25 calories. Sure, i can overdue on them like anything, but they are great alternative to a box of cookies! HELLO!!!!

5.) the other "treat" which I have to be more careful with, but which I enjoy emensley are the sugar free eskimo pies. They are 100 calories but only 1.5 grams of fat. Again, I can overdue it doing more than one, but they are a great treat.

6.) for veggies, I hear a lot how expensive fresh veg are and its true. We supplement our with having my favorite veg, Mixed greens in the can by Martha Holmes. I could eat those all day and they are so rich in vitamins and minerals! I love them! I keep a good stock of canned veg and look for sales and yes fresh are better, but these are well seasoned and learning to season things is the trick.

7) I am using the non-stick pan and have broken the dependency on oil and butter and of course we have the grill and i love to grill chicken! I am working stilll on getting more fish in our diet, but the chicken is great!

8>) speaking of chicken, the best alternative to cooking is picking up a rotisserie chicken on the way home...take the skin off and they are perfect..protien and left overs are perfect on salads! the lowe's in the nieghborhood does the breasts only and i Love them!

9.) we have found restaturants that are heart healthy: Pita Delite, Hibachi Grill, Chris's Cosmic Kitchen, some Sweet and Savory cooking, and some Items and McCallisters (they use low fat ranch!).
it is about looking around for the right places so we can go out still!

10.) and lastly for where I am right now with still is about wanting to eat too much. Sure it is a little bit spiritual, a little bit mental, and a little physical. It all is. I have spent the last 21 years growing in understanding that I am a three fold person...mental, spiritual, different than anyone else...and my afflictions and blessings are often the same things just not revealed to me as such until the right time or until I can see. Regardless, it is all a process and I am trying one day at a time....

Day 118: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey withy s Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

so the week got away from me! what a week and how many blessings can their be.
I got a call on thursday at work from woman I have known for years telling me about an event on saturday. Now, mind you, I have known her for years, but we have never really hung out. However, she is one of those people I have admired from a distance. See, for those of you not from this area, this is an amazing place..but, well, like other places, but more unlike other places, there are some jobs, and some places certain people don't have it all that easy. This woman not only made it here..she is respected, admired, and through an old boy system is decorated. I just think she is pretty damn amazing...and spirit filled for good stuff! So, imagine when she called and at the end of her converstation, she told me how much she admired what I was doing on this blog...and how much she was getting out of it. It was one of those moments when I just had to stop and really feel something good. What a blessings is all I can say. I was in tears on the other end and managed to say thank you.  But she, and everyone that have written mean so much and to know that we are doing this together. That my story is not unique, but by sharing it we are gathering some kind of mementum and making a difference...well, that is the spirit that brought all of this about.

If you don't remember or started this blog later, I was granted this gift by my friend Kristi Tomey and Ashley Miller, who saw I was near a heart attack. They met a man named Adam (ok Christians....what a name, huh? for this journey). Adam had lost, less than a year before his daughter, who was born premature to he and his wife Aimee to a heart defect. Her name is Kayleigh. Kayleigh was an angel into this world and she only lived for six months. Adam wanted so desperately to give back. To do something in the honor of Kayleigh and her life to help others. So, when Ashley and Kristi talked to Adam he said, "why don't I train this person and help him to live and change his life". they came to me and offered this amazing gift adn the only catch was that I would share the journey and help others too...the rest is history. Kayleigh's spirit, through Adam, then to Ashley and Kristi and now through me to whomever I can tell, touch, reach and send this too get this chance...I am sorry for this tear this morning..but I have lived this life these last 21 years where I have seen the awesomeness of a higher power working through each of us to create change, to carry the message, to facilitate growth and understanding, and this journey is another extension of that awesomeness and I just cannot express my love and gratitude for it.

Why bring this up today? Well, on May 11th it will be one year anniversary of Kayleigh's passing. I have been thinking alot about that. Alot about Adam. Alot about Aimee. But there is, from that time such an overwhelming swell of power that has been put into this world of change and good from this child's many by blessings. It is humbling to say the least.

Thursday was  a great day for exercise as I biked over and back to the gym and did a full 30 on the elliptical. I had to do it in the evening because of some work issues, but it was ok and it was such a beautiful evening (and no rain, thank God! LOL)

Friday was the same in terms of working out, and in fact it was the first time I have trained in the evening and I had a good time. I biked over and back and trained in between.
My back felt a little wonky and it made me nervous about trying something I had planned for Saturday.

There was a river to the sea bike ride in wilmingotn on saturday morning. I was planning on it all week and in fact that is the reason I got the call. when I got up, my back was not as sore as Friday night, but Michael had gone to his mom's and I got really nervous about biking downtown and then to the beach. It appealed and only would add a few miles to the journey, but I was afraid of being able to get back downtown or the amount it would add to my back. It just got confusing. So, I laid back down thinking I would just bike to the beach and catch up with them from here. well, I did not wake back up till 11:00. and their gathering was well over. So, I made up my mind that today I would bike to the beach....and I DID! it was AMAZING! It was a straight shot..pretty easy in terms of traffic and it was BEAUTIFUL! I swear I saw things I have never seen in all these years and what a great ride! I decided to go over to Mayfaire after for a little snack and then back home and all in all it was 14 miles! I was so proud of myself and it was awesome!

Today, I have biked to Church and then over to Chris's Cosmic Kitchen for a heart smart omlet! Another great day!

Thanks be to God!