Friday, October 29, 2010

Day 285: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

progress not perfection is happening in one major area and I am glad I took the time to see it today and sometimes think look easier than they actually are! :) Those are my two themes today!

I decided to go for my run over my lunch hour yesterday. I have seen a lot of folks do this over the years..use lunch to run and it seemed like a perfectly lovely idea..well, that is where the "looks easier than it actually is comes in.

I had to get home, which is not hard, since we are right by the office, but change, make sure not to dilly dally in the house and hit the road. The run itself was good. I actually thought I had picked up my pace substantially..and got my head in that too much instead of just enjoying the run. When I finished, I looked down at the "mapmyrun" app and I had only done 2.13 miles at 13:55 a mile. I was dessimated! I thought for sure I had broken 13 minutes a mile and had gone at least three when I stopped. I was actually angry when I walked in the house. But then...I looked at the app..and my recent runs..and I realized something..
2.93 miles 13:28 a mile
4.0 miles 14:54 a mile
2.0 miles 14:54 a mile
2.41 miles 13.07 a mile
2.09 miles 13:59 a mile
1.94 miles 15:00 a mile

While there have been two occassions were I got up on the my stride, for the most part, not only was today a good run, it was a new area for me to run in, but in all of this I am making progress! Hell, I only started running less than a month ago! Dag... It is so dangerous for me to get hung up to fast on pushing to be...oh..whatever...and not just enjoying this and getting the maximum benift out of it! I am running by God and that is something to celebrate! to the looks easier than..I am pooped now on my break at work..running mid day is a butt kicker. I am glad I did it becuase I was and am sure it is going to rain this evening, but it has zapped me.

Now it is actually Friday...I never finished that post becuase when I got home, I made dinner with Michael and as we finished I zonked out on the couch. I awoke at 11 to his adventures in Fable II (have I mentioned I am a Fable widow of late! LOL!..seriously, I love it when he has something he so enjoys!)...and I went back downstairs to bed.

I got up and went to the gym this morning. I had played with the mapmyrun app on the phone and noticed a voice activiation is SOOOO cool and helpful. see, now, every morning before I work out i run. I have not been sure how far of how fast, but I know it is awesome becuase this is the first place I tried to run and was not able to even get to the first traffic circle. Now I get to the end of the road and back and THEN start my work out.

So, long story short (I, know..too late!) this morning I used the voice system and it, every 10th of a mile told me what my pace was, my miles per hour, and accumulated time etc. It was very cool and helped me to see where I was and how I was doing. I really could monitor how I ran and sure enough..I am not crazy..I do run over 5 miles an hour..but when I get lost in drops down to 4.2 or 4.0 even. By having the voice system (kinda like adam! LOL!) in my head, it kept me on an even pace and when I got back to the gym, I had done a Distance 1.46 mi, Duration 16:26, Pace 11:16 min/mile, Speed 5.3 mph! It was such an awesome feeling..and I could have done more!

We worked out and I mean we worked out! Adam has me on leg drop sets starteing at 300 pounds, to 280, to 270...then run the stairs in some choreographed fashion, then chest presses in drop sets, then the stairs, then pull downs in drop sets, then stairs and repeat! It is pretty amazing!

So, all in all it is amazing! So grateful!

I am going to post more this weekend about some body imaging stuff! But this is great!

have a great Friday and happy halloween!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Day 282: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

we started the week with adam kicking my butt for sure. We are out of the oxygen express room and back in the regular gym..drop sets are the order of the day and we are droppin' me for sho! :) drop sets on the horse..then running up the steps four sets..then drop sets on the four sets up the steps..drops sets on the pull down..then four sets up the steps..then 5 minutes on the bike and level 14 at over 80 rpm steady as she goes..rinse and repeat! LOL!

of course I got in 30 minutes of running to start of the day..and I am pooped!

the very cool thing was that as I climbed the steps, the most amazing sunrise was coming up and it was breaking through with these amazing colors. Did NOT want to miss that and was incentivizing getting to the top of those stairs for sure! What wonder! So glad I was there to see matter the cost of the sweat! LOL!

We joke all the time about the work out not being worth it unless Mickey Mouse comes out...Adam took a pic this morning to show that Mickey was front and center...

so. you should be able to see ole mickey's ears, and his face outlined in my shirt. He usually appears at warm up after I have run a good 30 minutes and hangs around through out. The very cool thing is that he is less and less looking as if he is swollen and more flat to the shirt as an imprint! :) 
but, if Mickey does not appear, I am not working hard I am always looking to have a disney experience at the gym! LOL!

Anyway...the rest of the day has gone well. I had a great meeting at lunch and with a new connection for doing good things in the world...and then off to the commissioner's meeting. I think at the commissioner's meeting I genuinely got a sense of feeling like it was time that the past is just that. The work that we did to move things forward has been done and we are here now and can trust the process. It is a new day and one that we can be proud of and I can feel good about being a part of things...and just, not relax perse..but not always feel like I am having to "speak up" or watch....we have an amazing staff and a great bunch of commissioners. This is a truly wonderful feeling and a stress that is lessened and a job that is more than worth doing. Thanks be to God. It is amazing. They are amazing!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 281: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I can hardly believe that it is Sunday already..but it has actually been a weekend this weekend and I am very grateful! I have been able to get the house a little cleaner, catch up on some sleep and do some projecty stuff that I have not been able to attend to as well as have a little time to just relax...pull out the monasatary seats, stretch, pray, dance..and enjoy this amazing weather and be at home! :) It has been nice!

Thursday I ran the loop and posted it as a video without posting on the blog. I had a particularly aggressive day with the blogger boohead..but I had a great moment of clarity and let the run run it off for me! Here is the vid again:

After the run, i felt so good and felt so much relieved from my shoulders and heart. I allowed myself the room to feel the good and the change that is in my life and it was really wonderful!

I spent Friday evening just relaxing and Saturday, I got up and did a run around the university this time instead of the loop at wrightsville beach. Since i discovered that the uni was exactly 3 mile around on the perimeter, the run makes for perfect practice for up and coming 5k races and with the time changing and light getting less in the evening, it is a much safer place to run than in the neighborhood or even wrightsville beach.

I did not really increase my speed any, but I had a nice pace and it felt good. I have noticed that it, like the eliptical and other exercises that I have done, takes a few minutes in before I can be sure I am going to make it. Usually I want to stop or turn around in the beginning..but pushing through it begins to feel better and then it feels as though I could go forever! it is really cool!

Anyway, got to hang out a little with Adam and his girlfriend Diana and their friend form charlotte this morning and look at a project we may do togther. Not much about it yet, but what is really cool is that there is nothing but possibilities in my life today and there is so much that can be done with not on this health..but with this wellness that can be shared. I have so much more to learn, but so much to share. there is a calling and I have to seek my way in how to follow that calling...stay tuned! :)

BTW: this morning I decided to video my cooking..check out one of the best ways I taught myself how to cook an amazing breakfast without oil or butter. I love this breakfast...and it is part of the way I have learned and discovered ways to take better care of myself.

thanks be to God!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Day 277: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

got going late this morning and was actually 10 minutes late to the gym! OH MY! LOL! but it was not horrid..just the bed felt soooo good this morning and I hit snooze a little too much! :) but I made it!

Last night I hit a record for distance with 2.5 miles out onto shell trail running and 2.5 miles back..yep, that's 5 miles folks! it actually felt good and I think I was keeping a pace close to my 5 mile an hour goal..but i know that I was faster going out than I was going part because i got lost in thought on the way out trying to sort out some things from the day. I swear that as I was running I literally lost my sense of place adn time and when I looked up I was back on cardinal drive in my neighborhood adn off the trail adn could not remember how i got there. I was that much in thought. The cool thing about that was that I was able to really work out things that were bothering me and connect. the bad thing was that I was not paying attention to my pace or time. the better thing was that I was free from the stress and worry of the physicality of the run! That was amazing! It was so freeing and I felt so free. I loved it.
Now according to my little ap on my phone (by the way, this I phone thingy that has certainly absorbed me into the borg has paid for itself and then some with these aps for my health and wellness with music, training etc)..I burned 329 calories out and 329 on the way back...damn near half the intake of calories for a day! That is AMAZING! so....i guess you realize that i am hooked..

But here is the blog for today...I am SO GLAD I DO NOT LISTEN TO MY OWN BAD TAPES or OTHER PEOPLE's EITHER.

Think about many times have you heard others say "if you run you will hurt your back?" "I gon't run because it will hurt my knees" "I don't xyz because xyz will happen or has happen".. Well, duh...of course these things can and do happen...SOOOOO WHAT!

I have figured out that we..well I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy...we..I ..can talk myself into the best of things for myself and talk myself out of the best of things for myself as well!

I have had horrible..delbilitating back bad that I have nightmares about it. But I 1.) did not stregthen my core, gained over 160 pounds 2. did not take care of myself AT ALL 3.) rarely had any physical activity etc etc etc and I have hereditary issues. BIGGEST OF ALL..I never took the time to LEARN how to exericize..learn how to work out and treat myself well. SO DUH..If so fatso..I had a bad back! LOL! This is not to say I won't have this again..but here is the difference...I am doing what I am doing now becuase i have professional advise I am actually LISTENING TOO! LOL!..I treat myself and my back well...and I am doing things that stregthen areas that are macking the back less of a sore spot. My back going out will be less about running or exercise and more about age or incidental things..and I can LIVE LIVE LIVE and do do do! there is no reason for me not to now!

The same is for my knees. I did not take the time to get fitted for shoes? I did not take the time to learn how to run flat footed. To learn about lean learn how pace myself and streghten the areas and muscles around my knees to make them stronger. I can run by God...and while my knees do ache, I have sense enough to lighten up and do what I have been taught to make it better when it happens..and I can LIVE LIVE LIVE and do do do!

But Lord have mercy...if I listen to otehrs..or, if I get into my own stinking thinking..I can limit myself so easily and prevent myself from feeling this freedom..this feeling of..well, you get it...

None of this happens without guidance..without is not careless..but it is also not so overprotected and filled with "I will nots or i cannots"...just a few "not todays..but I am open to seeing what I can do tomorrows"...Thanks be to God!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day 275: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

back at today! Oh yeah! Don't think that being at the heart walk on saturday and making that milestone of 100 pounds is going to slow this one down! LOL!

But, to be honest, hitting milestones actually does inspire, but it requires making sure that I am vigilant.

Yes, there is no lie when I say I am loving this new life. There is no lie when I say I love the way i am eating. But, it has only been 10 months of change in a life that has been lived for 44 years in a certain way.

While I am certain, no... I have faith, that as I live each day, one day at a time, and take care of myself in each day, that I will continue on this path, I also am aware that old behavoirs and "comforts" can sneak their way back in..especially when I reach that point where "success" is so much a part of the day!

Last night, Michael and I went to dinner. Sunday was a great day to relax after such an amazing week...but also a week that was almost out of hand with stress (good and some intense).

In our talk about how the week went, it was pretty astounding how well it all went: the vigil, the parent tea, the oyster roast, the heart walk...all these blessings in one week! But also, there was the cyber bullying, the radio issues, and some negatives as well..and through it, I was able to get my exercise in and for the most part eat well. I did get this sinus mess and had to struggle at least on Thursday with exercise and I did call in sick for the first time with training. But, I was able to make up on Friday and move on.

What I looked back on though, was seeing myself grab for snacks more than usual...literally out of stress and seeking comfort.

I did not have potato chips or sweets, but i had too many of the healthier things I eat now. I am not being too hard on is a good, honest evaluation. What i don't like about it is that I was not taking better care just to chill and was grabbing "something" to quell me emotionally..see what I mean? All in all it was a remarkable week. I just keep on looking to grow in finding ways to NOT use food in that way. As a very emotional person, we have shared and I know better ways. The "need" to have something to fill, whatever, is still something I am growing with..and it is a part of this journey.

Today, I celebrate the success and not by having a pizza or having doughnuts or not working out or doing something physical or fun..but by doing those things that make me feel this good and that are achieving my goals.

Michael and I did, before i passed out asleep, go to Dockside on Saturday and sit upstairs and look out over the water adn enjoy some flounder and the beauty of the day..just quiet and together. That was such a treat and if felt so good just to relax.

Similarly, we went for a great bike ride on Sunday around campus..and then I went by myself for 15 or so mile at a fast clip. It felt great!

I cannot tell you what it felt like to look at the scale at home..the one that has fought be every step of the way..and see that digital read out tht said I was at 248..exactly 100 pounds this past week. It was amazing!

Today, I got going with a run in the neighborhood. Adam had a golf tournament, so I was on my own. I did 2.5 miles this am in 30 minutes! That was good time and it felt great! Had I known what time I was making I would have gone for the last lap that woudl make it three..but I had to get to work and was not sure what time it was. It was a good work out though. I might run again this evening if I can.
I did discover another great breakfast treat and it is even less calories than the turkey bacon sandwich at starbucks: it is the spinach, feta and eggwhite wrap at starbucks! OMG! it is so good and only 280 calories! I am soooo hooked on this one!

any hoo! It is all good and I am on my way still! I will end today with the vid we did on the trail for the heart walk! We are still on this journey and no telling where it is going to lead! I am so very grateful for the unknown..and knowing where i am right now!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Day 273: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

So, I have been asleep since about 3:30 this afternoon. As you can imagine, I have a little cold after all is said and done..but nothing could have stopped me from enjoying the heart walk today, or the oyster roast last night, or for that matter, our first parent and alumni tea yesterday at work! Well, sometimes it just all comes together at one time! LOL! But abundant blessings are just that, abundant blessings.

Today, the heart walk, though, was overwhelming. Got to the track this morning at 5:40 a.m. and at 5:45 my first honors students arrived to volunteer!  The alpha phi's, the association of UNCW nursing students, the Honors scholars and AGD did an amazing job volunteering and the day went off without a hitch!

The gates were blown off with the number of walkers and the enthusiasm and the spirit of love and family! It was amazing.

My mother was able to be there along with Michael, and was able to walk through those gates on the walk with me! It was awesome and I was very proud! My mother's mother died of a massive heart attack and so today, we were able to walk together with her with us a well! But, just having a mother as supportive and loving as mine is pretty amazing!

I talk alot about being grateful..well, I just am.

Today, with my friend Louise as the chair of this event, a woman who lost her husband 21 years ago to a massive heart attack, who has led in this community, created a business that is unparalleled and NEVER not been involved with everything to help others (and helped and loved me), she helped to bring our leadership team to a new level of success and make this walk an experience for ALL that was and is astounding. You have to be on a committee with her to know how much care and time she takes to stay on top of things, to honor the work she is doing and the care that she takes to do the work well. It is remarkable and we are all blessed because of her. Her own journey in this is as much to celebrate as anyone's.

Ashley, one of the truest friends I have ever had showed that persistence and honestly preserverance can and does overcome everything...because as the day went on...survivors, mothers of children with heart disease, families who had lost people recently..I saw Ashley making sure that our Sammy, our "Heartie" our family of folks were there taking care of them and celebrating, remembering, and honoring them. Ashley never missed a moment to talk to each person, make sure they were taken care of and love and honor them. 

Then of course, there is Adam. His mother and father came with his lovely partner, Diana, and we all celebrated together. We remembered together his daughter Kayleigh who passed away a year and a half ago, a child that brought all of us together and started this process. In so many ways, I owe my life to that child.

I am humbled by my friendship with Adam. He is amazing and I was glad that today he got some recognition as well! Here is the raw video from a great story that WECT did on us:

here is the video of the interview with me.

and then here is the video of the story from the amazing claire simms! She is a wonderful reporter and i am glad we had the time to connect:

There is a video from the Heart walk itself, but I will publish this later. I am VERY tired and unfortunately I have a low grade fever right now and need to rest a little.

But this is just the beginning...the next steps are to take this to the next level and continue to spread the word about living heart healthy and maintaining that life! GOD, it is amazing!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 269: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I cannot believe the heart walk is in three day and the oyseter roast is in two! the time flies and I am so excited!!
I hate that my head feels like it is going to explode from within from sinus pressure, but I am taking care of myself and actually for the very first time had to call in this morning and miss training. I had been woken up every hour on the hour by this head...and Adam was great about it and I was disappointed, but in order for me to get better, I gotta take care...

Anyway, last night, I now get why I was dragging. I felt this coming on when I was running. In fact in the video, I mention it:

It was a great run, and I am trying to employ those techiques that Adam talked about to get the most out of running. It is so funny how I can get so argumenative when I want to hear that I don't have to stretch beyond where I am! LOL! But I do want to achieve as much as I can and i am so grateful to have the guidance and firendship that will enable me to do this!

Now...for the rest of the week..I want you all to sign up and come to the oyster roast at Airlie gardens on Friday:
All the proceeds from this go to support the environemental education progams at Airlie

Then, sign up for the Heart Walk and come out and support hte heart walk!

It will be a great weekend!

Friday, October 08, 2010

Day 264 1/2: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I am not sure if these videos are able to be seen to folks are subscribers, but if you go to the blog, they are there. But I had to post these becuase they are very special.  Adam, not as a trainer, but just my friend, has decided to run with me! Michael has decided to walk the loop when we run! So, you can imagine how amazingly happy this all makes me...cause i get to do this new thing that I love and do with those I love. It is awesome!

My run today was and is dedicated to my friends Mary and Scott. Scott just finished his treatments with his cancer, and now folks know that my friend Mary is being treated. Scott is one of those rare individuals that you meet in a lifetime who with a steady, quiet, and wonderful intellect and sould combined makes a difference in the world in so many amazing ways. His process with his cancer is over and he is cancer free and i am one of many who selfishly celebrate this because I am absolutey honored to call him my friend and work with him on some things.

My friend Mary is a towering power of example of what it means to take just good care of yourself...she is an example to me of not only good health, but being just a good person. She has used ever spare moment in service of others and while this cancer has treatment her response was to me "I can't wait for us to run togehter". She has been amazing in supporting my journey and I am grateful for her!

So, tonight, as all this love and all of this good was invoked, we ran with these spirits in mind. Frankly, I have not said it, but rarely do I have a work out when I don't think or carry someone with me. When I fatique I think of those who suffered from heart disease and I lost them, when I am victorious in taking a next step I carry all those who have and continue to support me, and when I travel the different areas of Wilmington I think of all the amazing people who make it possible for all of us to have places to get healthy. Keeping my mind on so many wonderful people makes the works outs, the work almost effortless.

here are the videos:

Day 264: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

It has been an amazing week since I last posted. Sorry for the multiple videos and the message being condensed, but we have been traveling to DC with the students and so much has been happening.

We arrrived in DC for the Honors Lyceum on Saturday and I had about an hour before I took my first group out for a tour. I was so ready to run and fulfill a long standing dream to run on the mall, and off I went.

What was really cool about the run was that at the same time I am having this life affirming event, they were gathering for the march on washington to support the president and to stand up for the working citizens and efforts in this country! So, this combination of energies was just the rush I needed and was so very wonderful!

But the run was just the begining...I have been going on this trip and leading excursions and groups for a while. But this year was significantly different: No shin splints, no being out of breath as we went up capitol hill, and I was able to go out and enjoy things in the evening (not to late like the students LOL!) after a full day of walking and running around. This has NEVER been the case before. I have been so overwhlemed and sluggish and not able to do enough becuase of my health and weight and this time, I was so much freer and could explore so much more! It was awesome! It was also amazing becuase i had Michael with me and the energy was just plain good!
Now, mind you, exercise was amazing, but food..well...let's just call this a vacation and not dwell! LOL! I did really well on not eating candy and even found a place to sit down to eat when the bus stopped instead of fast food. But the snacks that I bought for the students were everyhwere and i was less than constrained. Again, it was better thant the five pounds of choclotate and potato chips that i would have eaten last year, but there were granola breakfast bars, gorp, and pretzel snacks and goldfish and i ate them. What I don't like about this isn't event the weight issue, it's that I was eating out boredom on the bus, or just eating..not because I was hungry and somehow, being away from home made it ok? NO, not at all. I did not dwell and kept moving forward and when we had meals i had the most incredible food at places, but i did not go overboard..just enjoyed the chef's work and loved the opportunity to try new things.  -

Right now is the busiest time I can imagine and the next month or so will be just flat insane. But I will make it one day at a time and will enjoy it, I just know I will, becuase i have discovered and uncovered putting my health at the forefront!

Here are just some vids from the trip of things we did. The last is my last run on the mall which was so amazing and so fulfilling. I just can't say enough about how amazing it is to be able to grow and continue to enjoy the world around me in new ways. I have yet in this life to have a time, but in particular, these last 22 years where I am not finding more ways to see how very blessed things are and ways to see and experience those blessings.

Thanks be!