Saturday, April 30, 2011

Day 453: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

If you have been reading this blog you know the story of Adam's gift to me and through his meeting Ashley and Kristi and how their love conspired to change my life and how all of us pray to pay it forward each and everyday. However, the root of Adam's inspiration to give, as you might recall, was the life of his and his former wife's child, Kayleigh Anne Freeman. Adam and Aimee are the parents of a 1 pound miracle birth who overcame all odds to enter into this world. Kayleigh was, from all reports, recollections and stories, a force of nature...defying amazing odds and breathing into that tiny body a soul that, while not with us in body, is still very present to this day.

Since Adam became my trainer, then my friend, I heard and listened to stories and I read the blog about Kayleigh. I understood that what had so changed Adam as a person, what had changed his priorities, set him on the path that he now walks, created the desire to give the gift of life that he gave to me; all of that was from Kayleigh's life.  However, the connection became more real today as we traveled to Charlotte to walk in the March of Dimes walk and then go to visit a place that I am still processing as I write.
here is a link to the video we did from the walk:

the walk was great, but I want to talk about the visit that Adam took me to the Hospital where Kayleigh was born. When we got to the Levine Children's Hospital, I was not sure what to expect. It was breathtaking. Thousands of crystals strung from stories high in front of colored panels bringing in light and love from the moment we entered. There was a sense of peace and calm as we entered..but it was that light..that warmth...that sense of comfort that comes from feeling secure and 'held' that I now know is what I was feeling entering in that place.

We went to the 7th floor and when we got off the elevator, Adam knew, even with some changes that were going on, exactly what to do and where to go. He had walked this path with Aimee so many times before. We entered the Neonatal intensive care unit and faces lit up as soon as they saw Adam. It was as if those behind the desk saw a family member, someone who made them remember something very familiar and loving. That was the moment that I began seeing love in the was so very powerful. A woman named Marsha walked in. I had been told about her. She had been Kayleigh's primary nurse..and from the moment she stepped in, you could see not a face of someone silly with love and affection, but someone who was possessed of that kind of care and genuine love that is on the face and disposition of those who have seen death up close and personally, but believe in life more than most of us will ever know. She possessd a true gift. She was not alone.

She took us around the units. That is when it began to connect: the reality of what had happened here with the stories and the true miracles at work in this place. When the magnitude that is hitting me right now as I write( of all that I was seeing and saw today) really started to come together.

In the unit there were all these precious each was life. Some 2 lbs, some 3, some 1.4..some with light warming them, some with respirators so technical a nasa engineer would be hard pressed to understand it. Each pod had a nurse giving nurture, care, and love. Each pod had a handmade quilt covering it so there was something loving and warming....but there were monitors and equipment..and each life..each soul was looking out for someone to sustain. It is so overwhelming that image. And I thought of Adam and Aimee going each and everyday to the that unit with that precious child...and all of that....and the waiting..the procedures...the all hit me....and I just swallowed hard trying hard to just be there for Adam as he experienced seeing everyone. I asked how many were there and was told that they could have and usuually have 55 at a time, but right now they only had 30. I just could not get my head around 30! much less 55....and all those parents, and grandparents..all that prayers

But on the drive back today and then this evening, where I have literally done nothing but try and process the trip, It hit me: While I just could not understand or really even comprehend all those premature births..all that life struggling.....I could get my soul around all that Love.

See, all the stories I have heard about Kayliegh...It has all be about LOVE...Courage..Compassion. All those proceedures...all that waiting....all that nurture...all that brought to focus what is and was important...LOVE! Above all things! LOVE! if for no other reason..those children in that unit bring the world to a stop for a moment...if just for a moment..someone..somebodys...a few souls...and they think about something other than...fill in the blank...and they send out love. For Kayleigh's blog..there were literally 1000's who prayed, sent messages, sent hope. 1000's who still do....and they stop whatever in their lives and think about LOVE...they think about this precious life.

It is so overwhelming. So very powerful!

I know for a fact from today, that i witnessed this love. As we walked through the unit, one of Kayleigh's very special nurses came out to hug Adam. When she saw our shirts, she commented on the ribbon that Mrs. Freeman had placed on each of them. Adam went to tell her that that was the ribbon of hope they had used when Kayleigh was alive. The nurse stopped him and said, "I know"..and as she pulled down her nametag...there on the back of it was one of Kayleigh's ribbons that had been there for the last two years. It had been there and remained there everyday that she worked. 

This was a short amount of what transpired here, but I hope i have been able to share what a powerful experience it was. Aside from the best husband in the world, I have been blessed with the best friend God could have granted me in Adam. But seeing this today and walking in this experience had brought me closer to the inspiration behind so much of the best of him and so much of now what has given me a new life: Kayleigh. I am eternally grateful to he and Aimee for being such good parents and being so loving to this beautiful child, but for sharing her with the world and letting her light shine so brightly!

I have learned over the last 22 years that it is not the amount of time that one lives that can be so significant, it is the quality of each day you live. This life...this little girl clearly lived each and everyday with courage, love, and conviction and a will that is not known by most of us...and we are all better because of her.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

special addition: getting started or restarted (with one important addition)

I wrote an email to a dear friend who asked me "how do I get started again?". For me, it was not about getting restarted a year and half was about getting started period. This post is about the exercise part of this journey to date: an overview if you will.

I have never been an athelete, but I have been very physcial most of my life. Doing labor or working hard was never an issue, but running, lifting weights, exercising was never something that was incoroprated into my daily or even weekly life. So, when I got an office job after Carolina and I ballooned up to 350lbs...the physciality of my life was over and it was surreal how I lost myself..and I thought it was all over...but it wasn't. What had to be over was me thinking I could "think" my way out of this without help...and then truly a gift from God (through Ashley, Kristi via Adam and his beloved Kayleigh) happened:

So, for me
#1) "getting started" meant to have "have a desire" to do something healthy and good for myself.
that was "easy" because I was at a point of change or die.
#2) be willing to listen to someone or somethign new and unlearn the things that I thought I knew or had convinced myself about diet and exercise and do it differently
everthing I tried failed. I had to listen. period.
#3) be willing to be patient and take things slowly
this was and still is hard. But I have LOTS of support and love. This has been and continues to be an amazing gift. It is ONE DAY AT A TIME! and daggone if miracles do not happen!
#4) be willing to fail, to not be accomplished from the very begining: practicing "progress not perfection"
By being a day at a time and remembering I am falable and a human (but never letting that be an excuse) I can always recover and be ok.
#5) be willing

It was #5 that was the most important. I had to be willing. I had to let go of my will and all of the notions, ideas and beliefs I had about what was right and wrong with exercise and listen and be open to experts..or at least someone that had training in these areas that could help guide me. Of course, that person came in the form of my now best friend and trainer, master trainer and head of fitness at 02, Adam Freeman.

Adam got me to first concentrate on my smaller muscles, working with lighter weights, and doing balancing buidling up those smaller muscles I was able to do more, safely. I felt "stupid" ( I can remember that so well) with those little tiny weights in the gym with all those "he men" around me. But Adam saw that and help me realize that this was helping me to LIVE and be better. He was right. I could not even look in the mirror at the time I was so ashamed. But I pushed through. I had to be WILLING to believe..Adam, everyone in that gym helped me at that time..Michael at home said how proud he was of me for going...It felt so good and I pushed through on those little weights and amazingly..i was able to do more and more...they/he was right!

All my life whenever I would try an exercise program I would go at it like a bull in a china shop and end up hurting myself..that old notion of "no pain, no gain" was bs...but that was a notion I had to get rid of. This "he man" hurt yourself mess that is happening at certain places in town..nope..I am not going to get hurt..It is about getting healthy and that is what has happened!

I had to also MAKE TIME FOR ME AND FOR THIS! This was the biggest of all! How in the WORLD could I POSSIBLY find an hour to exercise?!! How could I ADD to ALL I DO and have time for everything else that I need to get done? Lord have mercy..oh fiddle dee dee and blah blah blah..well, here is teh deal i am now up close adn personal with. By NOT making the time..but not getting my priorities in line, I was heaving and not being able to breath and get up stairs, was pushing a 54 inch waist..was on three medications: diabetes, heart and cholesterol, was damn near death. Did I have time to LIVE? did I have time to be better? to Honor this life I was given? To feel better? Daggone it..the answer had to be yes..and while I did not feel that way neccessarily at first..I was WILLING to make it make the take the time..and as I made the time..I...not better. If I am going to do the things I love..If I am going to love those that are in my life..I have to love ME enough to show up for this part of my life..and today I can honestly say I do..but Michael, My Mother, My friends..and Adam loved me enough in the begining until I could get to this place..and I thank God everyday...THis is my only MUST..that willingness to make the time..that willingness to take the time. It is essential.

I also had to unlearn the idea that weights were going to take fat off...Nope..that is Cardio with weght as I progressed I had strength building with the weights and cardio to work my heart, burning those calories and helping my endurance..and as I got even healthier there were (as I am doing right now) combining the two to do endurance and strength building on the same day.

Stretching to was essential. How can muscles grow if you do not stretch? It is absolutley neccessary after each run, work out, everthing that is physical. And oh yeah..I am 44..might want to take care of this body..right? Might want to be good to myself while I am working hard...maybe a bath..some relaxation? :)

Form was another biggie I had to learn! Frankly I have learned that if I don't have form right, I might as well not be doing the exercise at all becuase I will 1.) get hurt 2.) rely on muscles that are not part of the target for the exercise 3.) not be getting the benefit of the exercise. Having Adam to show me that form is invaluable.

So...For me...I began on the first it was 10 minutes at level 8 at 4 miles an hour...then 20 minutes..then 30...and I kept building (now it is level 16 at 8 miles an hour). Then we went out and do sprints..I could not run more than 100 feet at a tiem..but then we would run 2 minutes. and walk. run two minutes and walk..then, I was able to run the loop..then a 5 I can run 30 minutes at 5.5 mph on the tread mill!

Cardio is still at 30 minutes for me when I do just Cardio (not the biking or the kayaking). I am not really good at running or elliptical more than that cause I get bored silly. But get me on my bike or on that kayak...I have to be careful not to get lost! :) But 30 minutes on the former burns 300 or more calories. Not bad for an old man! :)

Same for the weight training. Starting out with sometimes 5 and 10 pound using 25lb and 40 lb...on the leg press, starting out with 100 using 300 lbs! But it was slow, overtime progress.

But here is what I committed to, one day at a time, for myself and I love it:

MWF I do strength for an hour in the morning before work
Each person has to determine a routine that is best for them in these exercises, but that can be done easily with a consultation with a trainer. If you cannot afford a trainer each time, you can do a "master trainer" session where they map all this out for you and you do it on your own after they show you correct form.

Tues and Thursday and Saturday I so some kind of Cardio: Run, Kayak. Bike..something fun...
on Sunday..I have a day "off"...

This is a life I love...
But I will tell you..had it not been for Adam....the inspiration of the life of his Daughter that brought him into my life and her short time on this earth..none of this would have come to me. God works through so many ways into and through our lives. It still humbles me.

The Anniversary of Kayleigh's passing is coming up and we are going to do a biodegradable balloon release at the Homewood Suites At MayFaire on May 7th at 11 am. If you don't know the full story of her miracle, check it out at

If you begining or "re-starting" your journey..I hope this helps. I have said and I will continue to say that the gift that was given to me is one a gift as long as i continue to earn it by paying if forward. I hope that it is being opened by someone right now.

Much Love!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 466: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

This might be the most emotional post yet...You may not know it..but that is how I am feeling. It has been an extraordinary 10 days or more in an  life that I consider blessed more than I could have ever imagined...but Lord knows it has been non stop.

I want more than anything to talk about an experience this week with a flight that I took. A journey that encompassed so much for me. Forgive me for skipping over some other major and wonderful events, but when I came up here to write, it was because WECT was airing a tribute to this event and it was welling up inside of me and I really needed to get this down and share it. So..

A few months ago I was going from one thing to another and racing to and fro and Louise called me to ask if I wanted to be a Gaurdian on the next honor flight. Turns out the next flight was going to be sponsored by the USS Gravely folks and she could ask those of us who were volunteers for the commissioning if we wanted to be involved. She had known that I, along with my honors students had sponsored a couple of veterans for the first flight and I was a big fan of this program--taking WWII Veterans on a day trip to see their memorial, literally before they left this earth! Honoring these amazing people for their service and sacrifice and paying homage to that very selfless generation.

The day she called I was actually upset because I felt pressured and I was not sure what to do about whether to say yes or not or what to do. I had something that day that was going on....but regardless I said yes. Now, when I said yes, it was knowing that I have not flown since November of 1994. On that flight to Chicago I developed an unreal fear of flying. It literally came out of no where after years of flying and I went into an absolute panic and have not flown since....but, having overcome so much I was determined that, damnit...I was going to do this...and I said yes....Oh boy! :)

Anyway, long story short..I got to go....and this is what is so powerful and why I need to write. A gaurdian is responsible for seeing to the needs of three veterans. Some of these veterans are well into their 90's and all have different abilities. It is important for the gaurdian to know what their medicines are, what their abilities are, etc and be prepared. But most important, a guardian is to be there to ensre that each veteran gets to enjoy THEIR memorial and have this experience as unencumbered as possible. Each flight comes with a doctor and a nurse that travels with it and we had unbelievably good ones, so they are the experts on those issues!

Our flight was divided into red, white, and blue teams that traveled together and I was on the white team under the leadership of Clay Whitehurst. He was an awesome leader, organized and just a good soul. He was also very patient with me (as you can all imagine). Every step of the way was done well, planned well, and done with such care and respect. Our Flight director was David Foster, a retired vet, who volunteered to do this and while I did not quite get him at first, by the end of this trip, I have enormous gratitude and respect for this man and I know that while his rewards are stored in heaven (as we are told), he deserves a great deal of praise for his sincere and honest passion for this service to these men and women on this flight!

For my three veterans I had a little bit of an issue in that everytime they would assign me a veteran they would drop out. Only one of the original assignments actually traveled, so it was difficult for me to get to know them much ahead of time. But that turns out to be ok..because I can assure you that I will know them for the rest of my life.

In meeting one of my veterans, I discovered quickly that these men are private in many ways about their service. Oh, they will tell you they served. They may even give you some details. But boast? never. Tell of awards? Accolades? Distinctions...not going to happen. And if any thrill seeker is thinking there is going to be stories of heroic battles with some romance..there again, that just is not the case.

In fact for this one veteran, we did meet (and by the way, I am not using their names out of respect for that very privacy), for a couple of hours in his home before the flight and talked extensively. I thought I knew a great deal, but on the day of the flight, he and I were walking in the memorial and he stopped. He told me that he did not tell something to many people, but he had decided he was going to tell me after getting to know me. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a small card. On it was inscribed that he was a recipient of the French Medal of Honor. So humble was he that in all of our conversation, he had never shared this. I literally had tears running down my face and I said to him that this was the very reason why I was so proud to be on this trip; because folks in his generation walked with such humility. Had that been awarded to someone in my generation, they would be wearing on their forehead. It humbled me. He humbled me and to be with him and to have him show me that was an honor.

Talk about a moment. Here was a man who was in Normandy in June. Helped prepare the airstrip for the allies in Omaha. I was walking in His memorial with him and talking to him and somehow I was called his "guardian". An awesome, surreal, moment.

So that was just one moment, with one of them. All three were amazing....but everyone of them was, in their own way amazing. In fact, on this flight I had folks that I knew in this community who have helped mentor me and been a real part of making my life here who I discovered were veterans by being on this flight. I went to the pre-flight meeting and low and behold a man who has been as instructive to me on politics and this county as anyone was there and still trying to get me to run for office! Miss M from Church comes up to in her 90's she volunteers 4 days a week at Randall Library and when she can comes by and fills me in on world affairs. She was the first person in 2001 to tell me about the dangers of Karl Rove and one of the smartest people I know. It was amazing to be on this flight with them...and then dear friend Carole's husband...he is a methodist minister and one of my veterans is an Episcopal Deacon and I told them it sounded like the opening to a bad joke...but Lord, talk about making me feel more comfortable on that Plane..him behind me and the Deacon next to me...I was set! LOL!

I am finding it hard to right it all down...for someone who runs his mouth as much as I was one of those experiences that is more "felt" than "expressed". I know that at the moment when I heard one veteran say "this is the last time I will see DC and you made it happen"...I know that you can probably feel what they felt like. To see these men at he DC airport, some of them, dancing to an Andrew sisters tribute group...probably for the first time in years. You can imagine that joy. To see their faces when the bus pulled up to the memorial and the Gravely Elementary School Children where there with Welcome signs to welcome them to the say thank you..and to meet them!...When veterans talked to each other...caught glimpses of their past in each other's eyes....and I/we got to stand by and listen and have the honor of being there when that connection was made. You can imagine. When they saw the 4000 stars that each represented 100 dead...and the connection was made. You can imagine. And then....when we boarded the plane to come back and they called a "Mail Call" and letters that had been secretly arranged by the gaurdians with the families came pouring out to each veteran, thanking them for their service, telling them how much they were loved...and then letters came from civic groups, my honors students, elementary students, and on and on and can imagine.

and we got off the plane and we entered the lobby of ILM, Flags aloft, Andy Anderson leading his brass band, the screams and cheers from 1000's as they were welcomed home heros...marching down that center end a day that began there and ended there...well, you can imagine.

I wish I possessed more ability to truly tell you more about it. But I hope in some way I have.

If you have a chance to support the southeastern Honor flight...any amount is awesome! It is worth every dollar you give so these veterans can go.

Each of those was a blessing....
Each of those who served on this trip...a blessing....
The experience...something I am very grateful for...

Oh, and by the way...the flying thing..went just fine...:) Another blessing

Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day 456: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

If you are having the stress filled fun that I am having this week all I can say is run your butt off and it will get better! :) I swear to you that no better gift has come to me than th release of getting on that bike and literally tearing up the road or running!

It is not a bad thing, this is just that time of year and i am always a bad planner! I know that it is going to be hectic at work, but of course I still have to have a bunch of others stuff going on as well! Lol! But what is different right now is that I really do have a release valve that is so wonderful! Last night when I finally got home I hit the road with my bike. It was after 6 so I did not want to run, but I still wanted to make it to the off I went! I could feel the world melting off of me as the air and the what was left of the sun hitting me as I went through the neighborhood and then down the bike path! It was great! I had funny, funky music in my ears and it was just flat out freeing!

I got to the loop, and while it was a work out, I just reveled in it and rode two loops and then back home..15 miles in all in an hour and it was awesome!

This morning I got up and headed in to the gym started my day with a run with Adam of about 3 miles. I was looking forward to catching up after a great weekend, but I have to admit I was not looking forward to the run. About and eighth of a mile in, it felt great and I really enjoyed it and it has set the tone for the whole day! What a blessing!

I guess the long and the short of it is that no matter what is going on, this is essential now. It is actually what keeps me at an even keel and creates for me some sense of pace and release. I keep saying that word..but that is what it feels like. Whatever is happening..there is a cleansing that goes on..there is something that happens that just makes me feel better.

If you had every asked me if I would be in this place with this stuff..I would have said you were insane..but here I am...nice!

thanks be!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Day 454: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I said it in one of the vlog videos that follow that this morning's weather is perfect to exemplify this week...overcast but clearing. Starting out "weirdy", there have been some amazing moments that have brought about some events that have been "clear" and beautiful!

Most moving this week were a couple of friends who either through sharing on their own blogs or facebook talked about struggling or hitting road blocks in their journey's for health and wellness this week and being able to share my own admiration for them, but more importantly that empathy that comes from knowing what it is like to hit a bump in the road and knowing that it is "us" that helps to get past that. Both of these folks, whether they knew it then or not, inspired me becuase they were not giving up or giving fact both, despite having hit a snag were still "showing' up for exercise..doing good things for themselves..and still talking it through. I said to them and I will say again, that takes courage! It was awesome to see and helped me to get out of myself and move through my week as well.

The week was overwhelming at work and it is going to be for a while. It is just the nature of this time of year and it is more important than ever to make sure that I am keeping my priorities straight and taking care to take time to rest, to exercise, to eat sanely. We have snacks around the office....not terrible snacks..but they are the same things that I have talking about for so long...the triscuits, the wheat things, the nuts etc...even though they are healthier..when I get wound up and stressed I want to fill up with snacks and I have to be careful...BREATHE and not grab things to slow me down. I made a connection this past week that I had not made before and really did not have time to think much about it..but until I was 30 I smoked. I had not realized that I eat...or should I say snack...much like I smoked. The "habit" is very similar. Here I am 14 years later and it hits me that much like smoking, eating has that same "habit" feel to it. I am not sure exactly what to do with that..but I needed to write that down before I forgot it. I plan on working with that in the days ahead. I know that throughout this journey with all the changes, snacking continues to be an issue that has not found a resolve and this whole "habit" thing may be something that can help me.

Friday, was an amazing day...I got to go to the Garden Party. No, the garden party in and of itself was not the amazing was how I felt. About a month and half to two months ago when the seer sucker suits came out I bought one...a size smaller than I was. I wanted for Easter to be able to wear it. I have not had on something like this since 1995. It may sound silly, but it was important to me. When I got dressed on Friday and not only did it fit, it was comfortable, I looked in the mirror and i liked, more than I have in years, what I saw. It was a feeling I have not had in years. I felt ok...good. It was nice. And so when I got to the Garden Party and I saw people that I love and care about, it was such a great feeling just to be with them. Just to hang out and enjoy the Spring day. What a blessing. While at the party Lenny Simpson sought me out. It was humbling that he was after me. But he grew up next door to Althea Gibson and he wanted to share with a glad heart how much it meant to him that the tennis complex was named for her....To see his hear him and know what it meant to it good. So much is worth it all when you see that kind of joy.

I went back to work and on my way back I literally welled up with such a glad heart that I felt like I was going to burst. Then the phone rang. It was a friend telling me of another blessing..where a connection had created another opportunity for him after so much change and so much work for good and added to my own joy was that of another. I lost it...just so..not happy..not even grateful...just overwhelmed by what good CAN happen if I get out of the way and SEE it. when the day was over I celebrated by having time on the intracoastal in my Kayak and then Michael and I had dinner. What a day! amazing!
Saturday morning I got up and headed straight for the River. Here was another goal I have Kayak on the river. I have only ridden the Henrietta to date..never been on my own boat and always wanted to. So, off I went.

I got to Dram Tree Park and the new boat launch and the new Kayak launch...another great thing to come out of our work on the Advisory Board...and it took my breath away. The river runs swiftly and the cape fear memorial bridge is a little bigger than the draw bridge at Wrightsville. But I moved forward. I launched from the kayak launch and was off.

Once on the river, I found out that it is a work out..but the pay off is amazing and the drift back is amazingly easy!

So, today i went to the "do it for Doolittle" ride at Murray Middle School. This past week a father and son were struck and killed by a drunk driver on river road. It was beyond tragic. What exacerbated this was some of the talk about how we should take out bike lanes or how there should be less bicyclists etc. I was agog at the lack of talk about drunk driving. The lack of talk about those who defend the drunk drivers...and even more so those who were not crying out for MORE bicycle lanes and paths and routes. Then, there appeared a facebook group that was planning a ride in honor of those two...and in leaps and bounds folks were pouring into it and onto it. It was stunning and the converstaion was about drunk driving (and believe me, I may have only been 21..but I understand but for the grace of God go I), good stewardship of our roadways and education of others about safety...etc. It was awesome! I had to go! I had to be a part of this and boy am I glad that I did! hundreds upon hundreds showed up today...It made me so proud to be a part of this community! So proud of Tom CLifford, the proud to know that folks can show up and be there in times when there needs to be awareness and support! It was amazing!

I wretched my back a little when I got home and had to rest a little..but am doing better was awesome overall.

It is going to be an amazing week and one day at a time.....well....I am just grateful to be here!

What a life!

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Day 450: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Maybe it's the springtime storm outside tossing the trees about and bringing down the temps by about 20 degrees, or maybe its the work load that seems like it is insurmountable..or maybe it is the amazing feeling of speaking last night at the county commissioners,  graduating with a diverse group of folks from the citizen's academy and truly being among new friends gaining new awarenesses, or celebrating a milestone of 22 years since a major change in my life, having a successful recruitment weekend, paddling for two hours on the intracoastal on Sunday...and on and on...or maybe it is just the sum total of all of it..but i just feel weird today. I feel fat, out of sorts, and I don't know. My oar is in the water and I am paddling against the current (now that I have been in my kayak twice, I feel at liberty to use such references being a seasoned boater! LOL!).

So, it is a weird day. Not that big of a deal...just don't need to over analyze...enjoy the gifts and try and practice "HALT"..hungry, angry, lonel, tired...where/when or if  I am too much of any of these..just stop and take time to make sure I am taking care of myself and not going overboard.

It is that time of year..Spring..the promise of everthing renewed..but it is also the busiest time of year at work and there is a lot going on. So, breathing..remembering my priorities and taking it one day at a time, one minute at a time...well, that is the best always. So short post today..but that is ok too...just need to stop..check at peace.

On to the Rest of a good day with weird moments...:)