made it again today! got up bright and early this morning and got to the gym. Now, I don't think I have mispoken about the cardio days..it is work and I know I talk about how much I enjoy it..and I am really enjoying the results..but make no mistake..there is a lot of mental in it is well as physical. I swear, in the first 3-5 minutes I want to get off cause I am warming up..and then when I get to 15 minutes I want to get off cause I am fatiquing..but I push on. No, there is not hurting myself...hell, my heart rate never goes above 151 and that is only when I am thinking about something that gets on my nerves or someone I need to get over (LOL!)..most times my heart rate these days stays between 138 and 141 and I am having to get it up to 7.0 miles an hour to get that! But what I mean by this post is that I am do not come naturally to pushing myself or discipline. I would imagine that there are those reading this that can relate. If I am to be successful, I have to keep my mind, body and soul in it to be successful. In other words, I have to want it each and every day....and today..I wanted it and not only made it to my 30 minutes, but was smiling at the end switching from Gospel to the Black Eyed Peas and jamming off the machine! :) I know I have to keep it in today..but I pray I do this each day....
As to eating..I do not want to get dramatic..but I have to put this in a post. I ate the rest of a bag of Wheat thins!!!! OH NO..call the police..I am RUINED!! Ok..I have already done that to myself..but the reason I am telling on myself is not because I cannot afford the calories or that I cannot have some extra every once in a while, its cause, last night, when I got the wheat thins, I was a little stressed. Instead of having a snack and having 15 of them (which is plenty). I took the remainder of the bag to my chair (probably about 40 of them), and proceeded to just eat them all. Mindlessly eating them. No satisfaction..that same filling some void that was going on before I started this new routine..when I was done, I was not less stressed and had just consumed twice if not three times the snack I usually had and nothing was solved. It just felt yucky. Ok..so no beating myself up..I just needed to share it and acknowledge it..cause i do not need to be doing this. It does not help or fix. Talking about my stress with Michael, praying, taking a walk..doing something.."change a thought..move a muscle" as we used to say is so much better than consuming empty calories.
anyway..today is a good day and it is a blessed day and I am grateful for all this!
2 comments:
I, for one, am so proud of you. This is the very beginning of what will be a life change for you Keep up the amazing work. Most days will be hard and will be a challenge. Find that happy place and make it fun ...and always know..Yes .. it is work...hard -very self gratifying – work. We are all so very proud and inspired by you.
Yeah, I went out to dinner with my husband and my daughter to Izzy's buffett last night. And ordered the "Full Buffett". Ended up feeling the same way you did about the Wheat Thins. I am tired of forgetting my goals, what I'm working toward and the conscious effort it takes from me.
Thanks for being honest and for striving to grow beyond your past thoughts, actions and coping mechanisms.
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