well, its Sunday and it has been such an enjoyable weekend!
Friday's training was good, but I am definitely on a new level. Adam is ramping things up as I can handle them and as I have said, what is great is that I can handle it incrementally as I have been over these months! It is great, but it is kicking my tail! :)
I have succeeded, with only one sip at the movie Friday night, of staying off Diet Coke for over a week. I have been reading and learning so much more about what it is essential that I stay away from diet drinks as a whole. This video is a great teaching tool about the effect not only of Diet coke but of how my diet was effecting me before. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpoAtwVyzZI
I cannot tell you how nice it is to go out to eat or be at home and get through a meal without having acid reflux or without having to excuse myself from the table to literally go and vomit up what I as eating because it would not go down. That was happening at least two or three times a week towards the end. It was humiliating. I rarely went to a lunch where I did not have to excuse myself. Now, it is so much clear and I have almost no worries in this regard.
It is funny, I have been willing to take this next step with Diet Coke, but there are still things I am not ready for. I thought about 21 years ago when I had another change in my life and I learned that I never am to say never about change. But I am only to say that "this, I will not give up today". By keeping it in today, I remain open that maybe tomorrow I will be ready or circumstances will present themselves, or I will just plain give in and be ready. But the minute I say "never'..oh boy..that is win the crap hits the fan and I get the self inflicted consequences of not being willing. It is about being willing...just being willing to try something new, to do something different, to give all this a chance. I have no more credit in all this than just showing up and putting one foot in front of the other and being willing. But Lord know "becoming willing" that is the mountain to climb. Giving up the diet coke..filling myself with food instead of taking care of me...romancing food...associating food with comfort..not moving when I should...not taking advantage of exercise. I had to become willing. Hell, tomorrow morning when I get up..I have to be willing. For some reason, this health stuff is not programmed into my brain as part of my DNA...but I believe that in myself more now on these issues than I ever have and it is a new feeling. (actually, I think that is the first time I have said that on this issue! feels pretty good). But, it means that, a day at a time, I have to be vigilant...and enjoy...and keep on sharing this gift! Not only to keep on earning it, but keep on growing in it and becoming willing for whatever I am to learn and know from it!
Thanks be to GOD!
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