Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Day 148: See Less of Bo: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman and O2 Fitness!

got up and early this morning and went to the gym. Adam is back and it was good to check to be up to speed even after a few days of not being in training together.  I have been able to do the things he is showing me. Although, the other side was that of course with him there, the 20 lb and  25lb weights that I was using turned into 35lb weights today! LOL! but the cool thing was that i was able to do what he asked and this time I did not snap at him! So, little by little I am working up to new levels.

We had a long conversation during the sets, though, about my obsession with the skin on my body that is not snapping back into place. Now, before I go too much further, let me just say, that i have, as long as I can remember, always just LOVED to get in my own way (if you have not read Jude the Obscure, it is totally my favorite book!). As soon as I started to make  progress, become successful, do some really good things, just step right in a big pile of doo and do something to sabatoge that success. Over the years, I have learned how to identify some of that self sabatoge and, ignore it, work through it, fight it back to hell, identify the source of why it is there...etc by hearing myself focus on the negative when there are some Very positive things going on or not being grateful or being focused on things that are just not normal for me.

So, when I started to obessess about my skin not snapping back and how, well, let's see...maybe I was better off heavier...ding ding ding ding ding!! that was a little sign that maybe I was trying to trip myself up! That and ignore the amazing progress that I have made and not focus on the progress that I am still making! :)  So, by talking about it at home and then talking about it today at the gym, I got reinforcement and reminders that...well, you all know...changes are happening and will continue to happen...and it has ONLY been 6 months since all this happened and there is, one day at a time, a ways to go..and if, God willing, I have a day at a time, when I reach my goals, I can live this amazing feeling that I am having with this new energy and good feeling overall! So DUH bo! LOL! and after a year of all this, if my skin is not as a tight as a trampoline, I am going to Dr. Ken White and he can sew me up...cause at least i will know that I won't be wasting money for a little nip and tuck as It won't just come back because i have truly changed!

So, it off my chest with you all too and I hope it makes sense. I know that if it is happening with me, it has to be happening with others. I have to remember, PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION and ONE DAY AT A TIME because one thing I am not is unique in these experiences. I am just grateful to be able to share them and know the support and, like with today when I got a call from a friend embarking on this journey, know there are lots of folks out there on this journey with me!

Now, my back is a little hinky and I am being careful right now...I may have overdone the bike or the elliptical. I also have to stretch more after my rides and my cardio. That is absolutely necessary as Adam says to allow my muscles to grow and develop and i don't want to hurt myself either.

Well, that is enough for today!
I am grateful and hope for another day like this one!

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