Got going today and I gotta say I am proud of myself..this week has been wonky..actually I have had a wonkly last 7 or 8 days..Now, don't get me wrong..it has been great..eating well (for the most part..and I willl explain that) and definitely exercing...but it has been high stress as of late and the time change, the season coming out of lent into Spring..just weirdness.....
As to the eating..I have been grilling chicken for us and it has been great, and I have not had foods that would harm..but saturdays and sundays are killers..I want to eat all daggone day! and this saturday I ate ALOT, but nothing that was harmful..just stuff..lettuce..apples..rice cakes..it was just all the time. I hate it.
Adam had a great suggestion about ordering my day so that I have activites like I do when I am at work during the week so that food is not always around me or an option for me. My doctors have said for several years that I have a chemical problem that I can't stop eating when I start and they want to put me on a medicine to curb that....well...maybe at some point. But for now, with the changes in my diet and coming off medicines and exercising..I really want to go at this with holistic approaches...just for today. Especially when, I am doing really well on what I overeat on...and I am getting good suggestions about what to do about it.
That said..when I weighedin on Monday..i weighed 290!...that means that according to the way we have done it at the gym..that is over 40 lbs so far!!! WOOHOO!
That does not mean that I can overeat on anything..but I am showing up to my exercise..doing what I am told and I really am eating well over all and...what is really amazing is that I like it! I really like it!
Now, Adam has suggested that I try on cardio days to do up to an hour on the elliptical and frankly i would rather just mortgage our house and have the surgeries of the human barbie than to stay on the machine for an hour at a time!!! so I am trying a new thing where I go in in the morning and do thirty and then do thirty after work...I did that yesterday and it was not bad. I actually liked the release of it in the afternoon as it got some frustration knocked out of me and got me back to level ground..I also slept so soundly...and then this mornign I rolled out and went in for training..I knocked out 10 push ups pretty daggone low to the ground before i collapse to do the rest! We also did the step up and kick on the boxy thing..it was just sooo much fun!
But regardless..what this is teaching me is that no matter what...whether this ebb or flow in my life..this is now a part of who and what I am. If I am having a wonky week or having a harder time...this has to be a part. When I want to call and say no to exercise..that is when I need to go. When I want to eat stuff that I should not..that is when I should eat something that is good for me..becuase the motive behind it is not to have a treat..it is to fill up from stress or becuase i feel bad. Hell, if I want a piece of carrot cake bbecause I love carrot cake and I would like to have it..then fine. But if I am craving carrot cake becuase i need to becomforted..then frankly..I need to pray..go for a walk..remember the blessings in my life..embrace my friends..talk to my better half..no one or no thing is gonna fill me or make me better.....especially food. I learned that 20 years ago with substances like alcohol..I am learning that now with food.
Today....like yesterday...I am grateful...and I pray that tomorrow, if granted it, will be like today and then some!
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