Monday, August 30, 2010

Day 232: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman

perfect start to the day..up and at em and off to the gym. Course, we are doing the "big boy" exercises...but it feels good. Maybe if the two of us weren't like two Yenta's talking so much on Monday morning, we would have gotten through the whole routine! LOL! but, I got my butt kicked regardless! It is so funny, I have been hyper critical of folks who stand around and talk and not work out..frankly as I have said, I just don't want to sit in their and smell it all day...but as I continue, it really is easy to really enjoy it. But, staying focused...staying focused! LOL!

I have been batching it for a few days and willl be this week as Michael is at a conference. It is funny that after all these years, I miss him more now when he is gone! But, I was really having a good morning because yesterday I took a day just for me with the house to myself. I stayed in bed till noon, then got up, cooked for me, went to the grocery store, did somethings I enjoy and even got some cleaning done I have not been able to get to lately. It was heavenly. I did not think I would ride my bike or anything this being a "day off'..but abouty 7pm I got to thinking about how much I really enjoy riding my bike..LOL! funny, it is not a chore to do cardio when you live in a place like this and there are such great placed to ride. So, having a day "off" does not mean not doing something just means that I get to do what I love! :)

I was also thinking about what a "a day off" meant less than a year to bojangles for two..not one..but two chicken biscuits with cheese and a large order of their hash rounds..back to bed and watch tv. Then convince myself and Michael that since it was a "day off" we really should not we would go to Casey's BBQ or head out to a steak place...the latter meant an 18 ounce steak, stuffed potato and salad with blue cheese and 4 or 5 hot rolls. then back home..drag myself to do something..and then get back to watching tv..then, becuase of indigestion or just to much (cause i would have had at least 4 diet cokes)...I would snack or even order a pizza that evening. This is NO exaggeration...and it was NO way to live. I am stilled amazed I made it this far...I went at it so hard and so stressed that when I had a day "off" I literally wallowed in anything that would give "comfort"..the only problem was that "comfort" created HUGE discomfort and I was never really satifsfied or at ease.

I am just so thankful and the more I sit on our meditation cushions, enjoy our den, read in our library space, go out with Michael to places, do things that are engaging, but create so much serentity, the more I want moer of this life that I have today! I have been so amazingly fortunate over the last 21 years..but now, now I get to live even more and do it in such a healthier manner.

A day off is a Day ON...a day of living and connecting!

Thanks be!

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