Day 215: Becoming Greater Than through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman

Not loving Wednesday because

it means that the week is almost half over and i still have so much to do! Loving wed because the week is half over and I have gotten so much done! lol! yesterday was a marathon day for service and work, but it was a good day because I started out by getting my butt to the gym to do my cardio first thing. I actually think I may need to go up a level on the elliptical because I got to 30 minutes ok and it felt great! I am still practicing the breathing meditation that helps me not get to bored on the machine and I love it! I close my eyes when I get on the machine, start the music, make sure I am over 7 miles and hour and then I count my breath. Every time I get to 100, I begin again. When I get to around 300, I have done at least 10 to 15 minutes. It is pretty amazing. My mind fills with sounds and sights and I drift away. It is grreat. I don't focus as much on my muscles or the work and am somewhat seperated from my body. It is nice...I get a great work out this way and I am at peace. I am also not as focused on the clock.

I went to work, then a retreat for a board, then another board meeting and then a retreat/social for another board on a boat from one of our board members. That was an amazing way to end a very long and at times contentious day. Being out on the ocean with people who care deeply about others and the world around them is pretty amazing. Actually, I spent the whole day with folks like this, but this was an especially loving crowd. It was also a chance to focus on a sunset and to feel that peace of focus that comes from, again, just paying attention to the blessing around us. Thanks be.  

Thursday Adam, Louise, Ashley, and I were interviewed on Donn Ansell's show, By-Line Wilmington that will air this Sunday on CBS 10 at 8:30 am and 11am.  It was amazing that Donn would do this, but very special for all of us because this really gave a chance to promote the heart walk. The interviews were done in three segments: the first with Louise as the chair of the walk, the second with Adam and I, and the last with Ashley and Louise. We all sat with tears running down our faces as Louise told the story of the loss of her husband, Hal McColl. She does not talk about it much, but you could hear it for her, that it was as if it was yesterday and not 21 years ago. It was so moving...and for all of us who love her so much, it was especially poignant. Her story is so indicative of stories of loss for so many men and women who loose someone to stroke or heart attack...maybe and hopefully what we are doing will make a difference!

When Adam and I got interviewed I was caught off guard to say the least. Adam had told Donn his surprise, but they got me on camera for sure. See, Adam has said he would train me for free until I reached my goal. Well, on the show, he said that he wanted to train me for life! It was so powerful! My brother and friend...so indicative of who he is and how much he and I have experienced over this journey and I have few if any words to describe what that meant to me. I have gained a new lease on life and a gift I am so very grateful for, but I have gained a true friend that  I never expected and is a blessing I cannot even describe! 

Thursday afternoon we all went for a bike ride to support the Mayor's "get fit" initiative. Bill lead the pack down the bike trail with councilman sparks, Josh Mello from transportation and planning, Chris O'keefe from the county planning department, and others. It was great and what was really fun was to not be all that tired after the run we did and want to do more! Unfortunately there was a storm brewing and I had to get my butt home. 

Thursday night though I just could not stop eating. I did not have anything "bad'..I was just eating alot. I had to drive at a quarter of 6 in the morning to Raleigh to be with a family member for a medical procedure and in hindsight, i was just stressed and anxious. that is a real big one for me. I reach for things that will fill me...carbs: crackers, pretzels, bread..anything that will shut down the anxiety and help me to feel...or not to feel...and while I am concious of what I am doing, I am not either! It is a weird state of "self will run riot" or so I have read. No, I am not beating up on myself. 9 months ago this would have been a pizza, fast food AND a pound bag of m and m's with 6 diet cokes. But there is still progress to be made...there is still spiritual growth where the substances don't fill in the need...and that is filled by awareness, connection, sharing, asking for help. Each time I do this, it is..well, nice. 

Today, as I said, I went to raleigh..and while the news was not great..it was not devastating in that there is still time and we have that time to share still..and the quality of life can be good. I even stood up for myself a little. 

When I got home I did 17 miles on my bike at an average speed of 14 miles an hour...I kicked butt and it felt great. tomorrow is move in for the new students...another cycle begins...

Got a lot to be grateful for!

thanks be to God!