Bo Dean's Blog In Wilmington North Carolina

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 809: Greater than through love and support

So this is a new way for me to blog using Siri and actually dictating my blog. This could get very interesting to see how Siri interprets what I say and how I say it. but I'm loving living the Star Trek life and being able to talk to my phone as if it was a person and being able to tell it what to do when to do it and how to do it. At least there is one thing in my life that I can order around and feel confident that I'm not exceeding my capacity for my own ego or my own sense of self.

As zealous as I am I really do like working with people and not trying to run things. and the older I get the more I realize that trying to run my own life without help from others and working with others, well it just doesn't work. case in point is this whole greater than through love and support in this whole effort of these last couple years and what's led to this part of my journey. I really discovered that by working with others...with all the support from others...by listening to others and by doing what others at least trying to do what others tell me to do and listening to the really makes a significant difference.

There's a line in another program that I'm familiar with that says that "we have to let go of our old ideas". I have noticed this is one of the hardest things for me during times of change. I want a sense of certainty and I want a sense of knowing that what I'm doing is right. But, there is change. There are new experiences and so of course I am NOT going to know things and of course I don't know everything. I have to be reminded when I am feeling frightened or off because I don't know something that I am NOT being threatened or that it is ok....that it as an opportunity to grow to experience something new to experience learning and growing...and to ask for help! To seek answers, and to be available to those answers without resistance.

I have a deep desire to keep growing and yet I still can get in my own way at times. I realize it's an important part of what keeps me mentally spiritually sound but also viable for just being able to live as a whole. I see way too much absolutism around me. Too many people unwilling to change and the results are as that other program says "nill" because they just won't let go and as a result there a lot of anger, a lot of division, a lot of separation and frankly there's just not a lot of growth.

Recently I hit a milestone in my own new journey on my work and I realized you know I'm still such a baby when it comes to what I'm doing and how I'm doing it and I realize that this is another part of my spiritual growth not only my professional road. This is also part of me learning and adapting and changing while I bring a lot to the table they're still so much for me to understand and so much for me to encounter. Instead of being afraid and being resistant to change and understanding because I'm afraid that somebody might not think that I know what I'm doing I have to look at it as an opportunity and I want to look at it as an opportunity because all of this is about being able to explore the blessings of this opportunity and to really look at it in a way that can grow and make something that has been given to me as a gift be really be incredible.

This morning when I woke up I so did not want to go to the gym I just wanted to sleep a little longer. I was tired, but I went. By going this morning and by doing something that I was so dead set against doing, I'm now on the other side of it, and I'm feeling at such peace and I'm feeling at one. I have an opportunity today to do so much more because I took the risk of actually going out and doing what I was not necessarily wanting to do but new was necessary in order for me to be the best I could be today. I'm just really grateful and I hope that I can continue to apply that to every aspect of my life or as that other program says "practice these principles in all my affairs". so very grateful just to be alive today and have these opportunities thanks be for all!
Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Day 806: Greater than through love and support

Last week I felt like I was catching up all week. It was an amazing week, but one that was wrought with must moving forward after one of the biggest milestones i have hit since all this life change began.
I ran a half marathon! :) better put, WE ran a half marathon. Everyone reading this post and everyone that has been a part of this journey ran that half with me! and what was so cool was that for the first time, Adam, who ran it with me, achieved a new goal with me as he had never run a half either! Who would have thought that the not so young padoin would be accomplishing something with his yoda! Lol!

The night before I was trying to figure out everyway I could to duck out gracefully! I was scared of this one. I had been working 7 days a week for a while and I was not sure about it. I wanted to do it so badly, but again, I was not sure. But, I actually fell asleep at at 4:40 in the morning I got up and off we went to the pitch dark to Wrightsville Beach. It was one of the biggest crowds I have ever seen and the energy was amazing! I think that the first 4 miles I was just propelled along by the shear energy and force of the thousands of people I was around. It was amazing!..but as we hit military cut off road and started towards Landfall, it was sinking in that this one was a long one. Thank God for those people Cheering on the side of the road. They were a life saver. Their smiles and whistles and encouragement just lifted my spirit. I felt that in my very feet and it helped me so very much! I just kept a steady pace adn moved forward and it was amazing. When I saw the 9 mile mark, it was the best feeling, because I knew I was going to make it. Testosterone hit a little at that point and Adam had to pull me by the neck of my shirt becuase I yelled at a couple of cars passing us too fast and WAY dangerously..but that was the ONLY negative in the whole experience. When I realized I was a little too pumped up, it was also one of the funniest self aware moments as well and even more wonderful was having enough energy at 9 miles to get upset! LOL! Adam and I checked in on each other and if you think for a minute that the definition of freindship is not just being there for one another when you are moving through something so powerful, you have to trust me. It was a freakin' honor to run with this man. To have come from not be able to climb a set a stairs...to not be able to do a simple squat..to be running side by side in a Half Marathon..and NOT to be last...but keeping pace...to truly be experiencing that...well..that is a gift..period.

We hit 10 and rounded out back out of Landfall and it hit how close we were. For me, I know not that anticipating the end is NOT the best thing. It was HARD to get through that last mile and half of those three miles. When we got into Mayfaire, I wanted so desperately to see the finish line and the way they set up, you could not because they routed us around other buildings. I felt tears welling up because i wanted to see the finish. I had gotten out of the moment, gotten out of the race and had gotten to the finish..and just as we turned the last corner, we were routed to a sidewalk. to our Left were EMTs and all sorts of firetrucks. I looked down and a body lay literally as blue as the sky and they were resuscitating him. It struck me "but for the grace of God go I". I looked at Adam and I said "thank you". He knew exactly why i said it...and it was a moment that I will never forget. I said a prayer for the runner...and then got my head back in the moment. I looked and saw Michael's face...with his camera going. I was so proud he was there and so grateful! I felt so loved and having him there was the best way to enter the finish! I could hear Colin Hackman say my name as I crossed the finish line....I grabbed two medals! My first medal ever! and put one on me and one on Adam and just burst into a rush of tears. It was a release and a miracle. A spiritual moment. It was amazing!

Don't think this is my last, but I am not thinking about marathons. In the middle of the race, I turned to Adam and said how grateful I was for this, but I realized, this was what I wanted. It was so healing. By no coincidences, I saw Andy Mckvey at the end, the very person who gave me the gift of registration for this event and inspired me so much, and then when I got back to my car at the loop and was sitting there having a private moment with God, there in my field of vision was Mary Barto...one of the cheerleaders I have had. She embraced me and it was so very special. Wherever I went and whatever I did, it was so amazing..and I am and was so grateful.

I left there and went to the bath, but had to work that afternoon and then went right into the week..so as I said, it was a tough week and pretty emotional on many levels.

I have finally had a weekend this weekend. It has been wonderul and I feel re-energized and ready for a new week!

So much to be grateful for! So much to celebrate! thanks be!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Day 794: Greater than through love and support

I am embarrassed that it has been so long since I posted. But I think it is symptomatic of what finally came to a crashing halt last night.

I could not sleep, actually got physically ill and was unable to go in today for the first time since I began this great work at the CAM. I am not a doctor, but I have lived in this body for a while and I know myself enough to know that I crashed last night from what I DO to me.

So much has been going on and I have been trying so very hard to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing. This last week it felt like the more I put a foot forward, the more mired it got in things that were, undeniably out of my control, but that were so very hurtful. From seeing those in need of housing denied by those who have more than they will ever need, seeing students shifted and further margnialized and work I was intimately involved in dissipating, watching leaders I care about be so very judgmental and uninformed, and then dealing with family I love dealing with loss, health, and issues in their own lives. And for me, learning my new life professionally and seeing what my limits are and how I have to change to rise to the occassion.

but it all comes down to that one word that no matter how old i get, I still like to wrassle with.."CHANGE".

My spirit was so very affected and it depleted what reserve I had of spiritual energy and I just had no more to give. I had to surrender last night. I had to just give in to being physically, mentally and spiritually overwhelmed.

For anyone who knows me, it was and it always is so hard for me to just feel all of that...as much as I know I am safe in a power greater than myself and have faith that I will get through, as much I know that I will be supported and loved my husband and friends, I still, after all these years hate..yes hate..to have things affect me to a point where I am not feeling the forward motion, I am not feeling the gratitude. I know that I can feel all this and not loose my perspective. I understand that I can walk through my feelings and still be grateful, but my resistance is up...and well, it takes me having to just shut down.

Fortunately, I have learned enough over the years that this shutting down does not involve a great deal of collateral damage: eg binge eating, drinking, spending etc. I have managed up until today to exercise and find that time for myself, meet most of my commitments. My eating has been comforting and not what I want for myself, but it is not so off I cannot correct my course, and I have reached out and asked for help. Most importantly, I took time today to heal, to do what i needed to do to take care of myself. None of which means that what has been going on around me is going away..but what good can I be if I am not taking care of myself.

But as I said, it is all about Change...change, being good or bad brings on an unsteady feeling and I don't know about you, but I want to cling to whatever will right me and keep me steady during all this. Well, doing those fundamental things...reaching out, exercising, prayer, showing up, and doing the next right thing WHILE really being honest with myself about what I can and cannot do and WHILE BEING honest about what I can and cannot spend time dwelling on...those are the things that will help me get to the other side.

I am learning my way into a new job, part of a new way of living in my professional life, and there is A LOT to distract and a LOT that i care about that is going on..but if I do not do those things which take care of the gift that God has given me, I will not and cannot be effective for any of it.

I am..after all is said and done, grateful for this..as I am always grateful for being able to have a moment to see...to listen.....and I hope those who live and love with me will understand.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Day 783: Greater than through love and support

I have the whole day off today and I am completely stymied as to what to do! :) So, I will just do the next thing that is in front of me and not worry about it.
That thought hit me and I thought, "that sounds like a good plan for life right now!".

Don't get me wrong, I have Good Orderly Direction always, but lately I have hit some places where I either don't know the answers or the answers that are available are incomplete. So, instead of trying to bully a result, which will lead to just being frutstrated and potentially could have very negative results, I am just going to do what is in front me and put those unanswered things aside.

If hindsight is any help at all, i know that when I am supposed to know something I will. When answers are to come, they will. My desire for it, for them does not change the timing.

It all may sound so very elementary, but when i am in conflict or perceived conflict with someone, when someone i care about is going through a bad time and I don't know what the outcome will be, or when things are in flux in and around me, it is hard to not demand..push.."bully" my will on all of it and create more havoc and drama. I am so glad that i have the tools of prayer, talking and yes, even exercising to let go, stay in the moment, and get focused. A discipline like anything else, the work that goes into letting go is minimal compared to getting lost in thinking, acting, and even being in a state that has no conclusion, cyclical, or just revolving issues.

This past week, I am on the new routine with working out and it is a kicker..but it is amazing today. I had a good week of eating as well and feel pretty good about my overall health! It is about showing up...but in showing up there is this change that is happening little by little over time and it is wonderful!

I have a lot to be grateful for...and today..as I go to the "next right thing"...that is what I will "cycle through" repeatedly: gratitude!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Day 766: Greater than through love and support

Ok..So, I was blown away today when, as i am sitting here waiting for the second day of the civil war at CAM to break out, and the Union and the Confederates are circling, I get this post on my wall saying "you have won the "Liebster Award". I thought maybe a kosher virus had just hit me or maybe a nosh that included some funky form of cream cheese and dried salmon was in my future..but instead it was this Ah-mazing and wonderfully cool shout out from what of the sharpest people I have met in recent years: Deb Church. Deb is one of those people who "gets it". She is insightful, funny, and every year at the Carousel Center Show, she and her team just make it fun and outrageous. She started blogging and has been a source of well, as her blog is called "keepin' it real!". So, I am humbled..and frankly tickled to get this.

Now..like most good things..to keep an award..I need to give it away! This award is earned by sharing with others the success of other blogs. Here are the "rules" of the award:
1. Link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Pick 5 deserving people and notify them on their blogs.
3. Post the award on your blog and spread the love.

So here goes:
1.) Yeah..I am back at Deb and hers! I have already been so over the moon that she was recognized this year by Encore! and hopefully people will "follow her"
http://www.justkeepinitrealfolks.com/

Now to the 5:

1.) Of course, why wouldn't anyone be following Adam's blog since he has helped me achieve so much health and wellness and does such a great job giving so much from his own blog to help others continue on that path! http://www.wilmingtonpersonaltrainer.net/blog/

2.) My Friend Marty Rowan chronicles are journey after Sudden Cardiac Arrest and her amazing life that she leads now on her own blog! It is worth the follow! http://heartstops.blogspot.com/

3.) Two of the most spiritual people in my lives, Kathy and Jill, journal about life, taking care of each other, their family, and write about the world and spiritual life in general. It is a wonderful walk and practice to follow. http://mamak-windingdown.blogspot.com/

4.) Wilmington Faith and Values is a blog started to have a conversation about just that and about those. Maybe..just maybe it is a place to have this and it be a place of peace. Maybe:
http://wilmingtonfavs.com/

5.) Weighing in With Sherry: A wonderful journey of a friend who has lost 97 pounds and her day at a time walk with this journey! it is a must follow! http://weighinginwithsherry.blogspot.com/

now off to share the love! :) How easy it that!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Day 759: Greater than through love and support

I have been thinking that this blog post was going to be about being "off the beam" because it has literally been two weeks of some odd rhythm in my life with the passing of my uncle, being sick for a couple of days and really getting into my new job. But today I woke late and I turned on the tv. There in all our disproportionate 52 inch screen glory was this little church in Newark nj and I was watching what I swore I would not watch: Whitney Houston's funeral.

I was determined not to be involved in spectacle;celebrity glossing...boy was I wrong in my assumptions and glad I had to eat my words. The wonderfully homey sound system, the honest nature of this place....no mega church here...just a neighborhood house of worship...a place of family...a real place(minus td jakes of course)...and taking the podium was rev mclurklin to sing, no feel "stand".

I let go harder and deeper than I have in a very long time. trembling as I did. I am sad at the loss of this amazing talent. However, her memorial gave me and, I am assuming all of us a moment to feel. And there I sat, feeling that powerful message that when it all feels overwhelming, when it seems more than we can handle, all we have is to "stand". Stand knowing that we are not alone, that we are emboldened, that we are given one another, a grace, a power, a life, a soul, a purpose....we stand and we...well we do more than survive and live, we thrive! I needed that so badly this morning.

Someone so dear to me was hurt recently doing the right things and I am so very proud to know him. But the hardest thing to do sometimes is to stand when others are hurt...I want so badly to react and to act, when there is such ugly around me and on others. But here I was, listening to what I needed to hear. "just stand". Remain at the ready to do the next right thing. To use the power that we have to be of use to one another, to a higher purpose, to do what we can to be...to be healthy for God's sake.

Everyday we see the hypocrisy of those who cry their faith and work so hard against others to deny them basics....what good does it do to focus on them..what good does it do to get embroiled in their behavior. The victory is to stand. The Victory is to do what we do to act in ways that make a difference and affect a positive result in our world.

There are no martyrs, no saints, just knowing this is what we do!

So, I sat here this morning as that song washed over me. That funeral helped me to mourn some things in my life as I shared with millions a life passed that had given so much joy. Not a tragedy, but a life that had humanity, had soul, had substance, but was susceptible . And it hit me that even on her day of memorial, she was "standing" to help even someone as unworthy as me to feel empowered, to take the next step, to continue, and to feel. How powerful it all is.

Location:Carleton Dr,Wilmington,United States

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Day 742: Greater than through love and support

I am setting some goals for myself, one day at a time. I have found that I do work better with some guides to go by and there are some things that i want to incorporate into my week to enhance my overall health and wellness. Last week was kind of rough in some ways.

Don't get me wrong..it was an amazing week of engagement, activity, output and some other great things..but I have to be honest with myself: I did not cook at home, ate things that were way not healthy for me, portion control was out of control, and stress was the rule of the day. I conned myself into thinking "this is my one night to have this or that..and well, it was a couple of nights like that. While the aggregate effect never led me to a McDonald's and I never cracked open a box of little debbie's...I did not feel good about my choices. It is the not feeling good that I don't like more than anything. I had some very major events this past week that were a part of some very new parts of my work and I wanted very much for them to go well, and I let that get me a little...ok..a lot. Stress and taking care of myself....that is the struggle.

On the pro side, I showed up for training on monday and wednesday and kicked butt both times. I ran on tuesday and thursday and did a great job both times and today I went on the 6 mile survival run and had a great time and really took the time to take the rest of the day off to heal, chill, and just be. So, there were no tragedies here, I just want to keep some things moving forward and not go in a different direction. After all..I know me better than anyone! :) Part of staying healthy and moving forward is to inventory what is going on and seek out ways to stay on track. In the past, when the road diverged, it went backwards...I am forging ahead...this path is to be trod anew.

So...this week: I want to add more water to my day. cook dinner each night and cook breakfast each morning. i want to connect with one additional training help that will enhance my running. and i want to make sure that I am taking time to do something fun for us and me.

I am trying really hard above not to say NO to anything above but to say "yes" to things that add and give me some good things. Does that make since? I am not saying Don't eat out..Don't drink diet coke, Don't Don't don't. It is never, I have found these last two years...and hell, these last 23 years, about denial, it is about adding...about having more of things that add, create better, different, more, etc. It is not semantics at all...it is affirming..it is enriching and it is just the way it is...the more water i drink, the better results I am going to get...the more I cook dinner, the less fat, cholesterol, and most importantly flavor I am going ot have...plus time with Michael and more money for both of us, when I cook breakfast, I am more satisfied for many of the same reasons as above (my 2 eggs, candadian bacon and fat free cheese! It rocks..with whole wheat toast)...oh...and I am going to have tea..and coffee...and by doing this I won't need diet coke..which by the way is toxic..or at least the aspartame is. and the additonal advise for training on my running is just going to help me enjoy it more...and having fun..well, that is about the stress..and the leveler there!

I gotta write all this out...cause for me it is about thinking it through...tomorrow when I get it up, it is about recommitting to it..and sometimes, I have to recommit to it hourly or minute by minute...but I am recommitting to things that are affirming...not committing to saying "no" to things..or even to myself...but committing to saying yes to this amazing life and good things that can and do make it so much better to live!

Anyway..here's to the rest of the gift of NOW..and if granted the gift of tomorrow...I have some goals..will place them fully in view and in focus, while my will and my life, I have decided, are in the hands of my higher power...and we shall go from there....Very freaking exciting! Thanks be!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Day 738: Greater than through love and support

So, we are well on our way into 2012 and I am showing up. I know, it is 2 years and by now it should be just what I do...but I am celebrating "showing up" as much today as I did two years ago....in fact, I might actually be doing it more now than I was then because I don't know about the rest of you, but after I have had some success and get used to something and think I know a thing or two, that is particularly when I am ripe to begin repeating past behavior. What is nice about my entire journey, and nothing unusual for this section of it is that it is all about one day at a time and as a result..today, I am celebrating showing up for training and it was wonderful!

In fact, I have not blogged about training and what we are actually doing in a while. I am thrilled with the progress, but what makes it so important to write about it is that I do actually forget sometimes how far i have come. This morning i was doing my chest press on the inline board with 45 pound dumbbells in each hand..and while it is a work out..it was not a struggle! I remember when I began, when Adam gave me the 10 pound weights and had me do the overhead press and I was almost in tears. Not only did it burn, but I was so embarrassed at being so big and feeling so weak. It was so wonderful having someone there to remind me that I was doing a great job and making progress. Well, that reinforcement led to me believing it myself and actually saying "good job" to my own self and now being able to do things I never would have dreamed of! Just taking it a step at at time and moving slowly, but steadily, and doing the work...wow! :) what amazing results!

Here is the work out: 15 reps of each: squats with 35 pounds dumbells, then incline chest press with 45 pound dumbells, then the pull down with the triangle with 120 (I think) pounds of weight, then overhead press with 30-35 pound dumbells, then step ups with 25 dumbells, then dips off the edge of one of the benches, then bicep curs with the 50 lbs dumbell bar, then 30 crunches with the 10lb medicine ball, then 30 side to sides with the 10lb medicine ball
then repeat three times!

It is an awesome feeling to get through this and to do it well! When I say I love it..it is not that i am thrilled to be working out, it is that after all that time of not taking care of me and being healthy, I LOVE being able to see and do and feel progress and achieve at this level. That is the love. that is a high. It is work, but it is so worth it. By taking time to take care of me, there is this pay off and I can do more and be about being able to do more of what I feel I am called to do and want to do! That is so awesome!

I don't ever apologize for being excited by this or loving it...but it all started with showing up..standing there with those 10...no, they were 8 lb weights...feeling silly...but believing that I could...I could...and damned if I am not...:)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Day 735: Greater than through love and support

What a wonderful last few weeks, but today was just...well, lovely.

Adam got invited by a dear friend of his and mine who trains with him to come and speak at his church today.

This individual was the person who had to tell us all at the hospital the night that Windell passed that indeed Windell had left this world. He has been and continues to be one of the most spiritual people I know and leads with a heart bigger than he is.

In his own life, has has taken on being a power of example and taking care of himself being a great steward of the gift of life that he has been bestowed, and because of that, he, like myself, wants to share the good news to everyone...and there we were..sitting in his church this morning. Believe it or not, I just got to sit there and have folks point at me and smile! :) did not have to say anything. It was nice! LOL! Adam, however, got up and spoke. He did so beautifully. He shared a story of a man, early in his career, who had experienced heart issues at the gym, only later to have it revealed that with Adam's guidance, he was made aware of greater issues and had survived and thrived. Adam told that story as the motivation behind why he does what he does, but also as what should motivate each of us to seek out health and wellness for ourselves..to not go down that road where we have to encounter the issues that can stop our lives. He did an awesome job.

Then our friend took the pulpit. His message was one that was awesome. The text that he used referred to the removal of "palsies" and the bringing of joy" and it was joined with the passage in Luke we hear so often at Christmas when we hear of the angels coming to the Shepard to say that they were "bringing glad tidings that would bring great joy". What was so poignant for me about this this morning was two things: Joy and the delivery of and too the message.

"Joy" as it was described and shared is NOT a state that is passing. It is feeling, a state, a condition that comes into one's life that is sustained by and for greater purposes, but has the overall effect of creating a perspective. A perspective where I am no longer in a state of want..a state of anger...a state where I am more than and cannot feel, hear, and sense the needs of others. Joy is NOT happiness. I loved when he said that you can be happy about a new house, a new car, even a new partner, but the happiness will subside...Joy does not go away. I understood this so intimately and celebrate this, but what was so poignant this morning was relating this sense of "joy" to where I am now. Once I became aware of a power greater than myself, whom I choose to call God, became aware of gratitude, became aware of the blessings, the favor, the love that IS, JOY became what sustains me everyday, in every way. Joy is what IS through whatever heartache and pain I feel, whatever stress I encounter, whatever struggle I have. Joy is always there. It does not pass. I do not seek to be happy, I rather seek to sustain and be connected to this joy. I loved and love this! But becoming aware was only half and that is where my friend this morning really stepped up.

Here is the second part of this that I loved: to whom and who the message was delivered to in the Bibical days and how it is applicable now. The "glad tidings" at the time where delivered to the Shepards: at the time, the lowest form of life known to the world. The summarians, known to be "unclean" despised, and unworthly..beneth the gentiles. This is who the message from God was being spoken too! This was who "gald tidings" was being sent to. This is who Joy was being proffered and told to be expected!

I love this..because here in this text there is this breaking down of prejudice, this breaking down of hate and classicism, and racism....oh yeah...so many don't get it. But sitting in this service this morning, there was this loud and wonderful voice and cheers around me saying "who are the summarians today? Who do you need to go to and offer glad tidings?" "who do you need serve like your own God did?". "where will you get Joy?" if you cannot serve the least among you..but moreover, everyone that is among you with love just like what you are taught right here!

I was not expecting this this morning and it was wonderful! It was beautiful! It was about all I believe.
What I know of my life is this: that to have the Joy that is being spoken to, then I have to seek out and be a part of serving "the summarians". I have to break down within myself the notions that divide my from others. I have to want to serve others and be not hateful. The "palsy" of my own prejudices and judgements have to be challenged and I have to give, work and be available to hear, see, think, and feel for and with others. See he so clearly "got it"..what took me time to understand..that to truly have "joy" to truly feel that connection and that sense of my own higher power i had to give away the gifts, the blessings, the love that I had so freely been given. Does that make sense? It is so amazing. I just LOVE It and his challenge to everyone there to go out and be of service to be "the message" but also DO it!

I can sit here and type all day and "talk" about all sorts of things..but its what I am doing....
Sorry..it was just wonderful. So..I wish you all JOY! JOY! JOY!

Thursday, January 05, 2012

special post: please vote

Vote on the "BEST OF WILMINGTON"!
http://www.encorepub.com/bestof2011/best_of_foods.php

The very cool part about this is that is creates great opportunity for the things you vote for. This blog in fact was really opened up to more and more folks as a result. So....post, paste and do as you wish. You have to fill in at least 25 items for the ballot to be accepted.

Like last year, I am happy to give suggestions to make that happen, not in all categories and in many there are VERY competing folks for the "best"...but certainly, I hope everyone will vote for Adam Freeman for trainer, Crest Fitness for Gym, Pine Valley Market for best Caterer and for best Chef, Smokey, Cameron Art Museum for best museum (and attractions!), my dear friends Big B and Sandra, Frances and WECT, and if you want to include this blog, please do so bowilmington.blogspot.com ...
and if you need some other suggestions, I am happy to make them. I always get in trouble because folks think I voted this way or that..I am merely offering suggestions and then in some cases, I just don't know or don't use the service. Do your thing and support local businesses! I ADORE Encore for doing this! They are a class act!
Best Seafood: Cape Fear Seafood
Best Italian Food: OC and Carrabas

Best Mexican Food: El Cerro Grande

Best Thai/Vietnamese Restaurant: Big Thai on North Fourth

Best Japanese Restaurant :

Best Chinese Restaurant:

Best Indian Food: Tandori Bites

Best French Food: Brasserie

Best Fast Food: there is no such thing! :)

Best Pizza: Slice of Life!

Best Vegetarian Food: Zoe's Kitchen

Best Soul Food / Country Cooking: Casey's Buffet

Best Barbecue: Casey's

Best Sub/Sandwich Shop: Atlanta Bread in Mayfaire

Best Fries:

Best Ribs:

Best Burger: Pine Valley Market

Best Panini: Press 102

Best Hot Dog:

Best Burrito:

Best Oysters: Cape Fear Seafood

Best Steak: Brasserie

Best Appetizers: Cameo 1900

Best Salads: City Club at De Rossett

Best Desserts: Brasserie

Best Waitstaff: City Club

Best Breakfast: Sweet and Savory

Best Atmosphere: Cameo 1900

Best New Restaurant: the Kitchen

Best Chain Restaurant: Carrabas

Best Restaurant (overall): Brasserie

Best Family Restaurant: Carrabas

Best Fine Dining Restaurant: the City Club at de Rossett

Best Diner:

Best Bakery:

Best Lunch: Pine Valley Market

Best Coffee Shop: Port City Java at Barclay Commons

Best Take-Out: Hibachi Bistro on College

Best Chef: Smokey at PVM

Best Wings

Best Ice Cream

Best Sushi: bento box

Best Buffet: casey's

Best Outdoor Dining: oceanic

Best Late-Night Eatery

Best Delicatessan: mccalister's

Best Mediterranean Food: pita delite

Best Wine/Beer Shop

Best Gourmet Store

Best Health Food Store: tidal creek

Best Sports Bar

Best Neighborhood Bar

Best Bartender

Best Bar (overall)

Best Martini Bar

Best Wine List

more>

Best Place to Board a Pet

Best Chiropractor

Best Place for Alternative Medicine

Best Dentist: Sandra Miles or Coleman Burgess!

Best Veterinarian:

Best Place to Buy a New Car: stephenson

Best Place to Buy a Used Car: cavanaugh

Best Local Book Store: books on old front street

Best Florist: julia's and or eddie's

Best Hair Salon

Best Tattoo Parlor

Best Place to Buy Gas

Best Jeweler Perry's, Reed's or Kingoffs

Best Surf Shop

Best Women’s Clothing

Best Men’s Clothing

Best Kid’s Clothing

Best Shoe Store

Best Dry Cleaner Williams Hangers

Best Real Estate Agency Seacoast or Intracoastal

Best Local Garden Store The Plant Place

Best Vintage Clothing Consignment Bargain Box

Best Home Decor Consignment Ivy Cottage

Best Antique Shop Michael Moore Antiques

Best Mortgage Company Cunnigham

Best Apartment Complex

Best Car Wash Cruisers

Best Tanning Salon

Best Gift Shop Protocol

Best Print Shop Copy Cat

Best Hotel Hampton Inn Landfall, Homewood Suites, Hilton Garden Inn

Best Adult Store

Best Bathrooms

Best Moving Company

Best Motorcycle Shop

Best Laundromat

Best Catering Service Pine Valley Market

Best Dog Groomer

Best Personal Trainer Adam Freeman Personal Training

Best Golf Course Municipal

Best Gym Crest

Best Spa

Best Shopping Plaza: Mayfaire

Best Massage Therapist (please list name and business)

Best Bowling Alley

Best Arcade/Game Room

Best Pool Hall

Best Local Attraction: Cameron Art Musuem

Best Tour of Wilmington: Bob Jenkins Tours

Best Live Music Venue: Greenfield Amphitheater

Best Local Band/Performer: Susan Savia

Best Local DJ: DJ Battle

Best Dance Club

Best Place for Karaoke

Best Place to Buy Musical Instruments

Best Place to Buy CDs

Best Art Gallery: Acme

Best Local Artist: too many

Best Museum: Cameron Art Musuem

Best Theatre Production of 2011: Hairspray

Best Theatre Production Company: thalian

Best Theatre Venue: thalian

Best Thespian

Best Comedy Troupe: timmy sherill

Best Local Newscast: wect

Best Newscaster: frances weller

Best Local Radio Station: 97.3

Best Local Radio Personality: Sandra McClammy or Big B

Best Morning Radio Show: Foz in the morning

Best Local Filmmaker:

Best Local Independent Film

Best Local Web Site: What's on Wilmington

Best Local Writer: Celia Rivenbark

Best Blog: bowilmington.blogspot.com

Best Thing to Happen in Wilmington in 2011: gravely commissioning

Best Nonprofit: too many!

Best Local Humanitarian! listen to your heart..I did

Best Environmental Group: Cape Fear River Watch

Best Volunteer: listen to your heart

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Day 725: Greater than through love and support

Somewhere I am going to have to see where I went wrong on my counting! I just realized that this coming Friday is 2 years since I started this part of my journey which will be day 730..and for some reason the last post was day 685. Not sure how I did that..but oh well...I am caught up now! LOL! I did this last year apparently too, so counting days may not be my long suit....staying in them..well I do pretty well at that! :)

Happy new year! I am so excited to have some resolutions/goals/hopes...things to look forward to.
here is my list from last year and it was neat to be able to go back over the list and see what did and did not do from it:

Spiritual:

Yoga at least once a week: hope to have daily practice of some sort integrated by the end of the year.-stops and starts with this, Karl gave me a great routine to work with, but I just have not integrated it yet.

Read one book a month on some spiritual text or philosophical writing-wrote a lot, need to read more

Walk on the beach/airlie/or other park once a month-this plus running the trail-yes!

Daily devotional morning and evening- did so much better this year

Find an outlet to sing-Did get to perform this year, but did not do this

Mental:

Take a class-took class, but was not able to finish because of job change

Read at least one fiction novel a month-did not do

Have a game night once a month-did not do

Draw-did not do

Learn more about painting and color combos/paint-did not do enough

Physical:

Run a 10k (the bridge run in Charleston)-had work conflict with this, but scheduled for this year and while I did not run a 10k race, I did run the 4miler adventure run in Carolina Beach and ran to the beach and got up to a 12 mile run! :) not bad for someone who could not get up flight of stairs two years ago!

Do team in training with Neesha- Did not do team in training, but had special time with Neesha

Get the final 20 off- kinda of DONE-But still have stomach issue that I am working on-

Learn to kayak- DONE! and then some!

Move from 5k Tuesday and Thursday to 10k-Done and MORE! :)

Break 11 minute mile-DONE

So, I feel pretty good about how my list from last year played out. But what I noticed was that things that are about my own creativity and reaction and exploration took a back seat. things that are fun. I need to have more FUN this year. So with that in mind, I am making my list with FUN on the list at the top!

So I resolve, hope, plan, and will this year, one day at a time, and with every good intention and desire, if it is the plan to do so, have more FUN!..fun playing games, reading, going to movies, plays, comedy nights, and doing those things that interest me/us..exploring my creative side!

here are some other goals:

run a 1/2 marathon and train for a marathon
consistently run under 10 minute mile pace
run without my shirt by the end of summer and not be self conscious about it.
finish my first book with Michael
Write more consistently
Keep up with my blog
make visits to people I care about more regularly
return emails and calls within 24hours
and be very clear about what I can and cannot do

This list is short and to the point, but it is just a small list for my personal self. the list about my professional goals, my giving goals, and some others are still being worked on. I am so excited about the year to come!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Day 685: Greater than through love and support

So, the whole point of giving is to do so and not get attention for it. The act of doing or giving freely with no hope or expectation of acknowledgement or reward is the best of all acts. It is the purest form of our higher selves. That said, I want you all to start talking about giving..giving things..not your time, talent...but things. Giving a lot, frequently and as much as you can. Here's why:

So, I have been "hoarding". No, I am not going to make the show on A&E, but it was getting pretty bad. The hoarding did not come through some compulsive need to "have", but this notion that I was going to profit by what I had. I am a pretty public person, so most of anyone reading this knows the schedule I keep for myself. Now, tell me, exactly when am I am going to to have that "clean house" sized yard sale, organize all this stuff and create this great opporunity to make all this money. Honestly, when? and even if I broke the HOA rules and had this, and spent all day doing it, in what way was I/we going to really profit by having dealers rummaging through things at 4 am before the yard sale shoppers hit at 6am and the poor schlubs who show up at 10am thinking they are still early?

Then, day before yesterday it also hit me that while I/we are not affluent by any means, exactly what impact is the income from a yard sale going to make or break our debt? Coupled, unfortunately, secondarily by the fact that I am a part and we are a part of some pretty major charities in this town and there is SO MUCH NEED all around us and here I am sitting on a pile of "stuff" that literally could make the difference in someone's very life if given to the right place to be used properly.

So, I LET GO! I let go of "stuff"..I packed up my car, headed over the Bargain Box of Wilmington and here is what I know. What is not given by the Bargain Box..literally handed to those in need from the Bargain Box is then sold and 100% of the money that comes in from the Bargain Box goes to local charities to help them. So, that act of lettting go multiplied in ways that I will never truly know...but I know, I truly know that it was the right thing to do. NOw, I don't give to orgs with high overhead or "foundations" that operate because they themselves are not non-profits and I want to make sure that what I am doing is going to go in the hands of those in needs..so I have done my research and I am not just going to give to Goodwill, but beyond that..this act of "letting go" was so freeing and little by little my life is lighter.

I say all this, cause I am betting EVERYONE has stuff that just needs to be "let go" of. My weight issue was not just my body, it was the "stuff" around me. I have a lifetime of having "things" ground me and create the illusion of security. Throuhgout my spiriual and now physical and mental growth, I see the shedding of "things" almost like pounds. They are inconsequential to what is really important. I/we began a process by scaling back and redoing the house last year, but then I just put the stuff we took out in the garage in the attic. That was not "letting go". and all year all I could think about was all that "stuff" and what is worse is that all year, someone, some people could have used all that and it jsut sat there. Not anymore...so, here's the deal. Get rid of it. Let it go and then tell somebody you did! Tell them where you do it so that they can invest in those places too! Habitat picks up, vintage values is awesome, Bargain Box is my fav....and there are others..but whatever you choose, it can make such a difference ! I am loving feeling even lighter today! loving, loving, loving it!

Thanks be!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Day 678: Greater than through love and support

So much has gone on recently..I will begin in the moment..where I am right now.
I am just...so warm. Like a a blanket of surety and love is around me.

Events of late have made that blanket feel so good. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of insecurity and I am getting my footing and finding my way...but among the moments of "finding" there have just been events of being "found". Sound to esoteric? It really isn't.

In changing jobs I have stayed pretty close to the course with my exercise and done pretty well with my eating. In fact, given the extent of things, I would say I have done pretty damned amazing! LOL! Holidays have definitely played a part in some dalliances that are not as good for me as usual. But I have no regrets...at all. I have run and run and run and felt such a release when I have felt stress. I have missed a couple of training sessions because I just was overwhelmed..not sick..just needed to sleep some more. Adam understood and understood my adjustments. But I am on the other side of that now and I was up at 5:30 and off to the gym this morning doing more than I ever have on my circuit training.

I have prayed and felt such a wonderful presence near and around me...this presence has come in events as well. My dad's illness has continued to progress and it has taken me out of myself and focused me at times in ways I did not imagine. He and I have shared time I never dreamed we would have. All of us have complicated relationships with our parents. We are not unique. But somehow, his life has continued long enough for there to be some amazing closure and discussions that I/we needed. What a gift. I just so hate seeing the suffering along the way. It is path that is hard to watch anyone follow. One I fear and try and stay focused on my living and not worry with and project to. This is about where he is and what he needs. Not me.

At the same time, I have had friends loose loved ones and held the hand of another who is passing, literally looking forward at the eminent moment. What privilege to be there, to say thank you, to listen. What a gift to be allowed to hug, or to embrace or just to be in someone's life at all. Nothing and I mean nothing taken for granted as minutes and second become counted.

And then, in all of this, I have been meeting for the first time, several people who have been following this very blog. Embracing Marty for the first time. Donna for the first time. Really feeling that connection in person and rejoicing in our LIFE! our sameness, our shared journeys, and our differences...all connected though through some sense of wanting to be better to be better and do better..not just for the sake of better. Got that? LOL!

And there have just been good things coming together. It is a time of good. I guess it always is...I just sometimes see it so much more clearly and right now I am so aware of it!

Thanks be!

1st Day of this Journey!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Friday, December 23, 2011