So much has gone on recently..I will begin in the moment..where I am right now.
I am just...so warm. Like a a blanket of surety and love is around me.
Events of late have made that blanket feel so good. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of insecurity and I am getting my footing and finding my way...but among the moments of "finding" there have just been events of being "found". Sound to esoteric? It really isn't.
In changing jobs I have stayed pretty close to the course with my exercise and done pretty well with my eating. In fact, given the extent of things, I would say I have done pretty damned amazing! LOL! Holidays have definitely played a part in some dalliances that are not as good for me as usual. But I have no regrets...at all. I have run and run and run and felt such a release when I have felt stress. I have missed a couple of training sessions because I just was overwhelmed..not sick..just needed to sleep some more. Adam understood and understood my adjustments. But I am on the other side of that now and I was up at 5:30 and off to the gym this morning doing more than I ever have on my circuit training.
I have prayed and felt such a wonderful presence near and around me...this presence has come in events as well. My dad's illness has continued to progress and it has taken me out of myself and focused me at times in ways I did not imagine. He and I have shared time I never dreamed we would have. All of us have complicated relationships with our parents. We are not unique. But somehow, his life has continued long enough for there to be some amazing closure and discussions that I/we needed. What a gift. I just so hate seeing the suffering along the way. It is path that is hard to watch anyone follow. One I fear and try and stay focused on my living and not worry with and project to. This is about where he is and what he needs. Not me.
At the same time, I have had friends loose loved ones and held the hand of another who is passing, literally looking forward at the eminent moment. What privilege to be there, to say thank you, to listen. What a gift to be allowed to hug, or to embrace or just to be in someone's life at all. Nothing and I mean nothing taken for granted as minutes and second become counted.
And then, in all of this, I have been meeting for the first time, several people who have been following this very blog. Embracing Marty for the first time. Donna for the first time. Really feeling that connection in person and rejoicing in our LIFE! our sameness, our shared journeys, and our differences...all connected though through some sense of wanting to be better to be better and do better..not just for the sake of better. Got that? LOL!
And there have just been good things coming together. It is a time of good. I guess it always is...I just sometimes see it so much more clearly and right now I am so aware of it!
Thanks be!
I am just...so warm. Like a a blanket of surety and love is around me.
Events of late have made that blanket feel so good. Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of insecurity and I am getting my footing and finding my way...but among the moments of "finding" there have just been events of being "found". Sound to esoteric? It really isn't.
In changing jobs I have stayed pretty close to the course with my exercise and done pretty well with my eating. In fact, given the extent of things, I would say I have done pretty damned amazing! LOL! Holidays have definitely played a part in some dalliances that are not as good for me as usual. But I have no regrets...at all. I have run and run and run and felt such a release when I have felt stress. I have missed a couple of training sessions because I just was overwhelmed..not sick..just needed to sleep some more. Adam understood and understood my adjustments. But I am on the other side of that now and I was up at 5:30 and off to the gym this morning doing more than I ever have on my circuit training.
I have prayed and felt such a wonderful presence near and around me...this presence has come in events as well. My dad's illness has continued to progress and it has taken me out of myself and focused me at times in ways I did not imagine. He and I have shared time I never dreamed we would have. All of us have complicated relationships with our parents. We are not unique. But somehow, his life has continued long enough for there to be some amazing closure and discussions that I/we needed. What a gift. I just so hate seeing the suffering along the way. It is path that is hard to watch anyone follow. One I fear and try and stay focused on my living and not worry with and project to. This is about where he is and what he needs. Not me.
At the same time, I have had friends loose loved ones and held the hand of another who is passing, literally looking forward at the eminent moment. What privilege to be there, to say thank you, to listen. What a gift to be allowed to hug, or to embrace or just to be in someone's life at all. Nothing and I mean nothing taken for granted as minutes and second become counted.
And then, in all of this, I have been meeting for the first time, several people who have been following this very blog. Embracing Marty for the first time. Donna for the first time. Really feeling that connection in person and rejoicing in our LIFE! our sameness, our shared journeys, and our differences...all connected though through some sense of wanting to be better to be better and do better..not just for the sake of better. Got that? LOL!
And there have just been good things coming together. It is a time of good. I guess it always is...I just sometimes see it so much more clearly and right now I am so aware of it!
Thanks be!
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