Friday, September 24, 2010

Day 253: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman

I am healing up, but am still sore. It has been a "slower" week. I am proud to say though, that I did go for cardio on tuesday evening and did 30 on the elliptical, and then went for training on wed morning. Adam said my knee looked to swollen still, so he was going to "take it light"..yeah...on my knee maybe..but he busted my "tail" on the upper body with hard core drop sets on presses, curls etc. I love it when they say "light"! LOL! but it made me feel so much better than just lying around doing nothing...which these days would make me absolutely stir crazy!

Thursday I  was not feeling all the great about the I did take the cardio day off, however, this week it has been back to back 12 and 14 hour days, so it was not like it was a "day off". The nice part was that I did pretty well with my eating so i have not had a set back of any kind. The only red flag that came up was last night and it is something that I want to focus on in this blog...

2 2 years ago, i wanted something to slow me down..I was so wound up and I was so high strung..I loved wine and other things that would "knock me out". Well, I found out fast that those things were absolutely not gonna work for me and I have not had a drink in 22 years.

Well, without realizing it, over those years, when I have gotten the most stressed, the most "wound up" and when I get so I can't sleep, I try and "knock myself out" with eating. You know what I eat and eat and eat until you just can't move, just want to knap. It is that feeling after a thanksgiving or a Sunday dinner. The problem became that I got so wound up all the time that i was doing this daggone near nightly! Well, last night, I was so tired..beyond tired, and while I grabbed healthy stuff to eat on the way home, I also grabbed "veggie staws" and sugar free ice cream sandwiches..I ate two of the later, and two big bowl fulls of the former. I was trying to stuff myself to sleep. I realized it and stopped. But it was so amazing to see how this old behavior could so easily come back in to quickly almost a physical need to do something to just cut my engine on could kick in and take over.

This month and next will be VERY busy..and I have to employ spiritual..and mental things, techniques, and opporunities that replace the "substances", well, are just so easy. I have been doing them, i just must remain vigilant.

Part of my disicipline is to journal about what I am eating each day for my dietician. I admit that I hate to do that. It is like telling on myself. But at this stage in the game, with all this success, I am willing to go further..and to keep this going. This gift is amazing and I want to truly continue to "grow:"! :)

The very cool thing is that a pizza was not delivered this week to my house, m&m's by the pound were not at my bedside, and bags of chips are not empty in the trash next to soda. It is amazing and I am blessed!

Progress, not perfection...Progress not perfection.

No comments: