just ran three laps around the neighborhood...if my car is correct, then each lap is .8 miles, so three laps gives me 2.4 miles. I could have gone for the fourth lap, but it was getting on to eight o'clock and Michael had dinner for us! :)...oh, I'm sorry..did I just casually mention that I could have kept on running after 2.4 miles? Did I just say that I ran 2.4 miles after a 12 hour day? Oh yes I did, and it felt freakin' amazing! :) LOL!
In fact, I was bone tired when I got home, the last few days with the rain and the lack of sunshine, mixed with lots of stuff going on and intense amounts of work, have made for pretty stressful days. But going out and getting my mind clear and running is really amazing! It actually is a dream! I can hardly believe it is me doing it! It is yet another thing that if you had said to me that I would be doing this when all this began, I would have absolutely not believed it! :)
anyway...today is a short post, cause I am off to the bathtub...but thanks be! thanks be! thanks be!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Day 256: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
Saturday I went for a bike ride for the first time since the saturday before when I fell.
It was awesome to be back on the road..and while I definitely still felt it in my knee cap when I pushed down or encountered a little hill, it was good to put in the time and feel the recovery from the injury! It was even nicer to see that by taking my time, taking care of myself, but still showing up, I can move through something like this and live to do more for another day! :)
Sunday I took off for the most part and had a truly spiritual day with Michael..just really enjoying the house and aside from a brief moment of feeling overwhelmed by the garage that is still not emptied of its stacks of stuff to be gotten rid of, I let go and focused on our time, my time, and time that I could spend being at peace and the luxury of that and felt so much better! I also let the leg and knee rest as well and heal even more!
I fell asleep early and woke up at around 11 and could not get back to sleep till around 2am..so I got up this monday morning grumpy. It was not lack of sleep, just grumpy. Adam and I had a good workout and i was back at the Oxygen Express with slight modifications as I am still healing in my knee, and i am happy to say that I am not that bad after all is said and done. There really is healing going on from this!
This morning, I got up and went running..it was the first time that I have done that and it was really nice! I just stayed in the neighborhood and did exactly 30 minutes so that I could make it to work on time. I did three full circles around our private streets and after i got dressed I drove that and it was 2.5 miles. That is pretty great. I am still going slow to let my knee really get back to perfect conditon..but it is an absolute dream to be able to run! I have NEVER been able to do this and never dreamed i would be able to on a regular basis!
grateful, grateful, grateful!
well..today is work...Rotary..work...and then two committee meetings this evening! I am a lucky lucky man!
It was awesome to be back on the road..and while I definitely still felt it in my knee cap when I pushed down or encountered a little hill, it was good to put in the time and feel the recovery from the injury! It was even nicer to see that by taking my time, taking care of myself, but still showing up, I can move through something like this and live to do more for another day! :)
Sunday I took off for the most part and had a truly spiritual day with Michael..just really enjoying the house and aside from a brief moment of feeling overwhelmed by the garage that is still not emptied of its stacks of stuff to be gotten rid of, I let go and focused on our time, my time, and time that I could spend being at peace and the luxury of that and felt so much better! I also let the leg and knee rest as well and heal even more!
I fell asleep early and woke up at around 11 and could not get back to sleep till around 2am..so I got up this monday morning grumpy. It was not lack of sleep, just grumpy. Adam and I had a good workout and i was back at the Oxygen Express with slight modifications as I am still healing in my knee, and i am happy to say that I am not that bad after all is said and done. There really is healing going on from this!
This morning, I got up and went running..it was the first time that I have done that and it was really nice! I just stayed in the neighborhood and did exactly 30 minutes so that I could make it to work on time. I did three full circles around our private streets and after i got dressed I drove that and it was 2.5 miles. That is pretty great. I am still going slow to let my knee really get back to perfect conditon..but it is an absolute dream to be able to run! I have NEVER been able to do this and never dreamed i would be able to on a regular basis!
grateful, grateful, grateful!
well..today is work...Rotary..work...and then two committee meetings this evening! I am a lucky lucky man!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Day 253: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
I am healing up, but am still sore. It has been a "slower" week. I am proud to say though, that I did go for cardio on tuesday evening and did 30 on the elliptical, and then went for training on wed morning. Adam said my knee looked to swollen still, so he was going to "take it light"..yeah...on my knee maybe..but he busted my "tail" on the upper body with hard core drop sets on presses, curls etc. I love it when they say "light"! LOL! but it made me feel so much better than just lying around doing nothing...which these days would make me absolutely stir crazy!
Thursday I was not feeling all the great about the leg..so I did take the cardio day off, however, this week it has been back to back 12 and 14 hour days, so it was not like it was a "day off". The nice part was that I did pretty well with my eating so i have not had a set back of any kind. The only red flag that came up was last night and it is something that I want to focus on in this blog...
2 2 years ago, i wanted something to slow me down..I was so wound up and I was so high strung..I loved wine and other things that would "knock me out". Well, I found out fast that those things were absolutely not gonna work for me and I have not had a drink in 22 years.
Well, without realizing it, over those years, when I have gotten the most stressed, the most "wound up" and when I get so I can't sleep, I try and "knock myself out" with eating. You know what I mean..you eat and eat and eat until you just can't move, breath..you just want to knap. It is that feeling after a thanksgiving or a Sunday dinner. The problem became that I got so wound up all the time that i was doing this daggone near nightly! Well, last night, I was so tired..beyond tired, and while I grabbed healthy stuff to eat on the way home, I also grabbed "veggie staws" and sugar free ice cream sandwiches..I ate two of the later, and two big bowl fulls of the former. I was trying to stuff myself to sleep. I realized it and stopped. But it was so amazing to see how this old behavior could so easily come back in to play..how quickly almost a physical need to do something to just cut my engine on could kick in and take over.
This month and next will be VERY busy..and I have to employ spiritual..and mental things, techniques, and opporunities that replace the "substances"..food..that, well, are just so easy. I have been doing them, i just must remain vigilant.
Part of my disicipline is to journal about what I am eating each day for my dietician. I admit that I hate to do that. It is like telling on myself. But at this stage in the game, with all this success, I am willing to go further..and to keep this going. This gift is amazing and I want to truly continue to "grow:"! :)
The very cool thing is that a pizza was not delivered this week to my house, m&m's by the pound were not at my bedside, and bags of chips are not empty in the trash next to soda. It is amazing and I am blessed!
Progress, not perfection...Progress not perfection.
Thursday I was not feeling all the great about the leg..so I did take the cardio day off, however, this week it has been back to back 12 and 14 hour days, so it was not like it was a "day off". The nice part was that I did pretty well with my eating so i have not had a set back of any kind. The only red flag that came up was last night and it is something that I want to focus on in this blog...
2 2 years ago, i wanted something to slow me down..I was so wound up and I was so high strung..I loved wine and other things that would "knock me out". Well, I found out fast that those things were absolutely not gonna work for me and I have not had a drink in 22 years.
Well, without realizing it, over those years, when I have gotten the most stressed, the most "wound up" and when I get so I can't sleep, I try and "knock myself out" with eating. You know what I mean..you eat and eat and eat until you just can't move, breath..you just want to knap. It is that feeling after a thanksgiving or a Sunday dinner. The problem became that I got so wound up all the time that i was doing this daggone near nightly! Well, last night, I was so tired..beyond tired, and while I grabbed healthy stuff to eat on the way home, I also grabbed "veggie staws" and sugar free ice cream sandwiches..I ate two of the later, and two big bowl fulls of the former. I was trying to stuff myself to sleep. I realized it and stopped. But it was so amazing to see how this old behavior could so easily come back in to play..how quickly almost a physical need to do something to just cut my engine on could kick in and take over.
This month and next will be VERY busy..and I have to employ spiritual..and mental things, techniques, and opporunities that replace the "substances"..food..that, well, are just so easy. I have been doing them, i just must remain vigilant.
Part of my disicipline is to journal about what I am eating each day for my dietician. I admit that I hate to do that. It is like telling on myself. But at this stage in the game, with all this success, I am willing to go further..and to keep this going. This gift is amazing and I want to truly continue to "grow:"! :)
The very cool thing is that a pizza was not delivered this week to my house, m&m's by the pound were not at my bedside, and bags of chips are not empty in the trash next to soda. It is amazing and I am blessed!
Progress, not perfection...Progress not perfection.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day 250: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
back at work today and walking upright like a real bipedal creature! It felt pretty good! lol! It was a little more than embarassing to have the fat lip though...but I just told folks that I got out of line with Adam and did not do the reps that he instructed me to do and, well, I wouldn't be doing that again! LOL! Of course that would be about the last thing Adam would EVER do, but it was kind of fun!
My knee is tight still and swollen, but I managed pretty well and I was itching to get back on the road, run, do something. I think, since January, this is the longest I have been without doing something...(saturday, sunday, and monday)..so today, I was ready! Adam and I saw each other at Rotary and agreed I would try the elliptical this evening and long as I would ice it down after...so that is where i am now...iced and laying here writing you! I did 30 on the elliptical it was not too bad. I don't think runnin would have worked today. Putting down to much pressure on the knee is still hard and I have to be careful.
What i am proud of is that I am pushing through...with care! There was a time I would have used this to stop..give up...or at the very least take a week or more off. Now, it is just not an option! I love this life and what I am doing and I love the results too!
I was a little paranoid about gaining weight sitting in bed. But I think I might actually be ok there too. I ate a little too much hummus and had my sugar free ice cream sandwiches, but I did not order in pizza or do anything to "comfort" myself while I was immobile. Feeding myself while I am hurt with something that would end up hurting me more just did not make much sense! LOL!
Anyway...I am looking foward to getting back to training tomorrow and maybe by saturday back at runnning!
Thanks be!
My knee is tight still and swollen, but I managed pretty well and I was itching to get back on the road, run, do something. I think, since January, this is the longest I have been without doing something...(saturday, sunday, and monday)..so today, I was ready! Adam and I saw each other at Rotary and agreed I would try the elliptical this evening and long as I would ice it down after...so that is where i am now...iced and laying here writing you! I did 30 on the elliptical it was not too bad. I don't think runnin would have worked today. Putting down to much pressure on the knee is still hard and I have to be careful.
What i am proud of is that I am pushing through...with care! There was a time I would have used this to stop..give up...or at the very least take a week or more off. Now, it is just not an option! I love this life and what I am doing and I love the results too!
I was a little paranoid about gaining weight sitting in bed. But I think I might actually be ok there too. I ate a little too much hummus and had my sugar free ice cream sandwiches, but I did not order in pizza or do anything to "comfort" myself while I was immobile. Feeding myself while I am hurt with something that would end up hurting me more just did not make much sense! LOL!
Anyway...I am looking foward to getting back to training tomorrow and maybe by saturday back at runnning!
Thanks be!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Day 247: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
well, the day did not start off the way I intended to say the least! I got on my bike and head for downtown. Today was "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" an annual benefit for the Rape Crisis Center for Coastal Horizons. I have been priviledge to serve on that board for a number of years. Coastal treats mental health and substance abuse as well as Crisis Intervention with Rape Crisis and our Youth Shelter and 24/7 hot line. Of course, government will fund substance abuse and mental health treatment to a certain extent, but crisis intervention is almost all fundrasied and grant funded. It is astounding the amount of violence against women..AND men in our community, particularly our youth and these folks are truly heros. http://coastalhorizons.org
So, I was going to bike downtown and enjoy the day. About the time I got to the University and was crossing a parking lot, a transition from the parking lot to the sidewalk that has a step lip, well lets say the lip is a lot larger than it should be and I was thrown over my handle bars going about as fast as you can imagine with "bobblehead" playing on my I-Phone. I landed...literally on my lip and my knee. It stunned me, but I was able to pick myself up and walk my bike back. It was nice this time, because two folks passing actually asked if I was ok instead of going right by.
One thing I learned, however, today is that pain does not come immediately...but when you land on your knee at 12 miles an hour or more...pain will come lol! I was determined to go to the event...and So off I went in my car. I am grateful for this, becuase I contemplated riding the bike still, but the chain had been knocked loose.
So, I went back to the house, doctored the lip...which looked very anjelina jolie..and headed out. As i got downtown, I was limping, but was ok. I was Stunned at the crowd. It was double last year if not triple and it was amazing!
I was so glad I came becuase the organizers, Lauran Aldredge and head of Rape Crisis, Am Feath and their committee had done such an amazing job!
I was asked to speak and did and then they were off!
I limped back to the car and realized this was a lot worse than I thought when I had a hard time getting my leg in the car. I went straight to my doctors. Long story short, they exrayed it and there is nothing broken, but I am having to stay off it a couple of days with ice etc.
Now..here is the part that I know will drive a couple of you crazy. I said at the doctor, who has been with me for years, that I was grateful and have repeated this a few times since. See, when I have been laid up in bed before it was because I got so big my back went out. I was so unhealthy my immune system was breaking down constantly. Today, I was in the office with a bruised and battered knee because of an accident while biking downtown after a week that I ran a 5k...and when they weighed me when I got there, I had lost another 3 lbs and my blood pressure was amazing! Yep...All the pain I am feeling right now...all the discomfort of this little bump in the road...I am grateful!
me and Crisis Intervention Director Amy Feath
event organizer Lauren Aldredge and our Sheriff, Ed McMahon
a father teaching great values to his sons!
So, I was going to bike downtown and enjoy the day. About the time I got to the University and was crossing a parking lot, a transition from the parking lot to the sidewalk that has a step lip, well lets say the lip is a lot larger than it should be and I was thrown over my handle bars going about as fast as you can imagine with "bobblehead" playing on my I-Phone. I landed...literally on my lip and my knee. It stunned me, but I was able to pick myself up and walk my bike back. It was nice this time, because two folks passing actually asked if I was ok instead of going right by.
One thing I learned, however, today is that pain does not come immediately...but when you land on your knee at 12 miles an hour or more...pain will come lol! I was determined to go to the event...and So off I went in my car. I am grateful for this, becuase I contemplated riding the bike still, but the chain had been knocked loose.
So, I went back to the house, doctored the lip...which looked very anjelina jolie..and headed out. As i got downtown, I was limping, but was ok. I was Stunned at the crowd. It was double last year if not triple and it was amazing!
I was so glad I came becuase the organizers, Lauran Aldredge and head of Rape Crisis, Am Feath and their committee had done such an amazing job!
I was asked to speak and did and then they were off!
I limped back to the car and realized this was a lot worse than I thought when I had a hard time getting my leg in the car. I went straight to my doctors. Long story short, they exrayed it and there is nothing broken, but I am having to stay off it a couple of days with ice etc.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Day 246: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
"true humility is the achievement of one's own excellence"
that was what an old monk in upstate new york used to tell us when I was in my early 20's. We called him ciggarette Bob..and he chain smoked ciggarettes and spoke in parabels. But he was one of the most influential people in my life at the time. Typically, what he said took years for me to get...and this statement took me a great deal of time and contemplation. I have learned that I am afforded excellence, but humility is knowing what is my excellence and what isn't. Even 22 years later, one of the joys of my life is still learning and growing in understaning that excellence as well as understadning some of my boundaries and things that lie outside of it.
Last night, I experienced something that I never dreamed would be a part of my life. I ran a 5k! I ran it with my friend and brother, Adam to the cheers of my life partner, my mother and step father, and friends...I experienced another "bucket list" moment that begins something new. Running is not my excellence...being an athlete is not my excellence...however, what is becoming more and more clear that is within my realm of excellence is exploring and accomplishing those things, activities, and behavoirs that promote health and wellness for myself. I can feel and see that those things are within my abilities now. It is pretty amazing and ONE DAY AT A TIME...like everything else, I have come to realize this.
I was saying to Michael though last night on the way home, I need to say, everytime I post though, that this journey is like all the changes that have come...it has only happened and is only possible because it three fold..it is inolved with my mind, my body, and my spiritual life. I have to think and believe, act in a physical way to do things differently, or to do things period, and I have to rely on and believe in something greater than myself...these things in concert..or at least as in as much harmony as possible in a given moment allow for the transformative in all things..not just diet and exercise, but in all things I want to see adn change....and believe you me, I have a lot of other things I want to continue to seek changes and growth in and for. My journey is not complete...that is another things I actually can be very grateful for!
Well, here are the vids that Adam took last night as we ran! What a gift from him..not only as my friend..but capturing this moment in time...a middle and a begining! thanks be!
at the begining of the race!
that was what an old monk in upstate new york used to tell us when I was in my early 20's. We called him ciggarette Bob..and he chain smoked ciggarettes and spoke in parabels. But he was one of the most influential people in my life at the time. Typically, what he said took years for me to get...and this statement took me a great deal of time and contemplation. I have learned that I am afforded excellence, but humility is knowing what is my excellence and what isn't. Even 22 years later, one of the joys of my life is still learning and growing in understaning that excellence as well as understadning some of my boundaries and things that lie outside of it.
Last night, I experienced something that I never dreamed would be a part of my life. I ran a 5k! I ran it with my friend and brother, Adam to the cheers of my life partner, my mother and step father, and friends...I experienced another "bucket list" moment that begins something new. Running is not my excellence...being an athlete is not my excellence...however, what is becoming more and more clear that is within my realm of excellence is exploring and accomplishing those things, activities, and behavoirs that promote health and wellness for myself. I can feel and see that those things are within my abilities now. It is pretty amazing and ONE DAY AT A TIME...like everything else, I have come to realize this.
I was saying to Michael though last night on the way home, I need to say, everytime I post though, that this journey is like all the changes that have come...it has only happened and is only possible because it three fold..it is inolved with my mind, my body, and my spiritual life. I have to think and believe, act in a physical way to do things differently, or to do things period, and I have to rely on and believe in something greater than myself...these things in concert..or at least as in as much harmony as possible in a given moment allow for the transformative in all things..not just diet and exercise, but in all things I want to see adn change....and believe you me, I have a lot of other things I want to continue to seek changes and growth in and for. My journey is not complete...that is another things I actually can be very grateful for!
Well, here are the vids that Adam took last night as we ran! What a gift from him..not only as my friend..but capturing this moment in time...a middle and a begining! thanks be!
at the begining of the race!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Day 248: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
so last night I decided to go to the loop before the Interfaith Hospitality Board meeting and see what if the whole running this was just an anomaly! LOL! It wasn't! In fact...I ran the entire loop this time and did not stop! All 2.4 miles! It was an incredible feeling!
I did a little vid to celebrate!
Now mind you, all my adult life I have honestly been jealous of runners. I have said repeatedly that i thought running was stupid...but of course the reason i said that was because I felt like I could not do it! Well, today, I feel like I can just about do anything. I am still a little wary of my back...and I am very much monitoring it...but it is amazing. That said...well, read on to what I am doing tomorrow night.
Today, I wanted to show a little of what Adam has me doing. This is the Oxygen express room at O2. Like I said the other day, you get on one machine...the music plays and you pound out as many reps as you can..it beeps...you jump on the bike...run at over 100 rpm (he has me at level 14)..beep..and then on to the next machine...and so on. We did a vid to show how this is done. He has me at high intensity and this is the second round. We did not do the whole work out...but it gives a good overview of it! It is pretty amazing!..and I am very grateful!
I also truly love you all cause I look like hell in the morning! LOL! but I look better than the 348 pound man that started this and could not make it up the stairs! LOL!
I really am stunned every day and just amazed by this life. I am never stopped from finding something in a day that just makes me...well...grateful. I know, I go on..but it is true. Michael puts up with a lot from me everyday...but he knows like I know how very blessed we are...and I am so blessed because of him! I am also blessed with the support and love from all of my friends and Family..and my brother Adam...damn....what a guide in this part of the journey!
Tomorrow I am doing the Historic Wilmington Foundation 5k....yep..I am registered and gonna do it....
I will have all of you with me every step of the way!
thanks be!
I did a little vid to celebrate!
Now mind you, all my adult life I have honestly been jealous of runners. I have said repeatedly that i thought running was stupid...but of course the reason i said that was because I felt like I could not do it! Well, today, I feel like I can just about do anything. I am still a little wary of my back...and I am very much monitoring it...but it is amazing. That said...well, read on to what I am doing tomorrow night.
Today, I wanted to show a little of what Adam has me doing. This is the Oxygen express room at O2. Like I said the other day, you get on one machine...the music plays and you pound out as many reps as you can..it beeps...you jump on the bike...run at over 100 rpm (he has me at level 14)..beep..and then on to the next machine...and so on. We did a vid to show how this is done. He has me at high intensity and this is the second round. We did not do the whole work out...but it gives a good overview of it! It is pretty amazing!..and I am very grateful!
I also truly love you all cause I look like hell in the morning! LOL! but I look better than the 348 pound man that started this and could not make it up the stairs! LOL!
I really am stunned every day and just amazed by this life. I am never stopped from finding something in a day that just makes me...well...grateful. I know, I go on..but it is true. Michael puts up with a lot from me everyday...but he knows like I know how very blessed we are...and I am so blessed because of him! I am also blessed with the support and love from all of my friends and Family..and my brother Adam...damn....what a guide in this part of the journey!
Tomorrow I am doing the Historic Wilmington Foundation 5k....yep..I am registered and gonna do it....
I will have all of you with me every step of the way!
thanks be!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Day 246: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
wow..what a day..up at 5:45..got my butt in gear and got to the gym...as soon as I hit the door. I turned tail and went back out and hit the street and ran again. It was great. The first time Adam ever had me try and run, back months ago, I could barely get down the sidewalk to the first traffic circle from the gym....today, I left and not only did I pass that traffic circle, I kept on going and got almost to the end of the road at Eastwood and the only reason I turned around was I knew i had to get back to train! :) I arrived at exacty 6:58 am and was ready to go!
The only soreness was a little in my hip and some in my right knee. Otherwise, I was good to go!
As I said last week, Adam said this week started a whole new level for me and us. I have seen this "oxygen express" room the whole time. In fact we have been in there a few times to used the machine. Basically, the music overhead plays a few minutes and then theres a beep..when it beeps you have a few seconds to go to the next machine..and you do this for 30 minutes. Adam got me set up on the machines..I think there were 12 of them, working everything you can imagine. In between each machine I have to do the bike to keep my heart rate up and I have to be at level 12 (then 14) and keep the bike at over 100 rpm's....oh boy! this was the butt kicker extraordinaire! Let me tell you! I was drenched getting set up...but then...doing the routine..moving from one to the other..never stopping and doing as many reps as possible was..well, intense. When I got done it was 7:40 and we decided to try and get in round two..and I almost made it...just shy a couple of machines! Like I said, it was amazing!
So, it looks like this is where I am going to be for this week and maybe longer...
I also signed up for my first 5k..it could not have been more perfect..NC Public Health for goodness sake! I am really looking forward to it!
http://www.active.com/running/wilmington-nc/environmental-health-and-ncpha-5k-and-urban-hike-2010
one day at a time! :)
anyway! I am pooped!
thanks be!
The only soreness was a little in my hip and some in my right knee. Otherwise, I was good to go!
As I said last week, Adam said this week started a whole new level for me and us. I have seen this "oxygen express" room the whole time. In fact we have been in there a few times to used the machine. Basically, the music overhead plays a few minutes and then theres a beep..when it beeps you have a few seconds to go to the next machine..and you do this for 30 minutes. Adam got me set up on the machines..I think there were 12 of them, working everything you can imagine. In between each machine I have to do the bike to keep my heart rate up and I have to be at level 12 (then 14) and keep the bike at over 100 rpm's....oh boy! this was the butt kicker extraordinaire! Let me tell you! I was drenched getting set up...but then...doing the routine..moving from one to the other..never stopping and doing as many reps as possible was..well, intense. When I got done it was 7:40 and we decided to try and get in round two..and I almost made it...just shy a couple of machines! Like I said, it was amazing!
So, it looks like this is where I am going to be for this week and maybe longer...
I also signed up for my first 5k..it could not have been more perfect..NC Public Health for goodness sake! I am really looking forward to it!
Environmental Health & NCPHA 5K & Urban Hike | Wilmington, North Carolina 28401 | Tuesday, October 26, 2010 @ 6:30 PM
one day at a time! :)
anyway! I am pooped!
thanks be!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Day 245: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
Today has been awesome! I got up and had a quick breakfast with Michael and then I headed off to the beach for a new day for cardio that Adam has wanted for me....
but first...I took this vid the other day on the trail! I love it and wanted to share! I wish everyone would get out and find out what I have found in this amazing new experience! I know..it did not start out this way..but it is greatest feeling now!
But now, today. Adam, on Friday said that he wants me to really think about adding running to my routine...not just the tread mill, but really running and as a goal, he wants me to do a 5k. So he sent me this great Couch to a 5 k program. Well, today, I biked to the Loop in Wrightsville beach and wanted to see what I could do:
I honestly did not know how far I could go and the few miles to the beach on the bike had helped to get me warmed up. But when I got started, it did not feel so bad, and at least I was passing those folks who were walking! LOL! :) but it was working..so as I went, I kept setting new goals..from counting breaths to then saying I was going to make it to the first bridge..and I did! :) when I got to the first bridge, I walked across and wehn i got to the other side, I took off running and set a goal to get the next bridge without stopping..and daggone if I did not make it! So, I walked across it and enjoyed the amazing view and then when I got to the other side made a goal to get back to the place i left my bike..and well, here are the results:
Well, it was amazing and I do not think I have ever felt so accomplished! I got on my bike and boy was I feeling it, but I did a full loop...then I did my military cutoff and back home...wow!
what an amazing run! I am looking forward to so much more...of course..right now, I am looking forward to an epsom salt bath! LOL!
but thanks be!
but first...I took this vid the other day on the trail! I love it and wanted to share! I wish everyone would get out and find out what I have found in this amazing new experience! I know..it did not start out this way..but it is greatest feeling now!
But now, today. Adam, on Friday said that he wants me to really think about adding running to my routine...not just the tread mill, but really running and as a goal, he wants me to do a 5k. So he sent me this great Couch to a 5 k program. Well, today, I biked to the Loop in Wrightsville beach and wanted to see what I could do:
I honestly did not know how far I could go and the few miles to the beach on the bike had helped to get me warmed up. But when I got started, it did not feel so bad, and at least I was passing those folks who were walking! LOL! :) but it was working..so as I went, I kept setting new goals..from counting breaths to then saying I was going to make it to the first bridge..and I did! :) when I got to the first bridge, I walked across and wehn i got to the other side, I took off running and set a goal to get the next bridge without stopping..and daggone if I did not make it! So, I walked across it and enjoyed the amazing view and then when I got to the other side made a goal to get back to the place i left my bike..and well, here are the results:
Well, it was amazing and I do not think I have ever felt so accomplished! I got on my bike and boy was I feeling it, but I did a full loop...then I did my military cutoff and back home...wow!
what an amazing run! I am looking forward to so much more...of course..right now, I am looking forward to an epsom salt bath! LOL!
but thanks be!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Day 244: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
today was amazing..but i have to admit that I had a momentary lapse in the "ungrateful"..I will get to that.
I got up at 5:15 am because I had an event at work and had to be on site a little after 7, so Adam agreed to train me at 6! It was such a great thing for him to do and I was greatly appreciative for him to give me that spot. Now, let's think about this for a minute. Less than a year ago, I barely rolled out of be to huff and puff up the stairs to get to work...this morning, I was making sure that I got to the gym so i did not miss training at 6am...and I was awake to do it! I did not even really think about it...but as I was getting ready to blog, it hit me what difference this is...which is why the reaction I had later in the day was a little, well, if not ungrateful..at the least a little unpatient!
Anyway, I got to the gym and Adam wanted to do the last day of this round of "big boy" exercises and see how I had progressed. the routine goes: 20 squat-curl-overhead presses, then 30 mountain climbers then repeat a second set: then 20 push ups, then 20 squat jumps, then repeat a second set: then 20 crunches, 20 bicycle crunches, 20 side to side crunches, 20 leg lifts, then 20 "heismans"..this is pulling a 50 pound weight while on one leg and then letting it guide me forward in a one legged squat..doing 20 of those on each leg, then repeating the crunches and heismans again. WHEW! Well, I finished the routine. I barely stopped during the routine and I have definitely progressed! I felt so amazing..and it was 6 a freakin' clock in the morning! LOL!
So, it was a great training and then off to the event at work that was so wonderful where our students just shone so wonderfully and the rest of the day was great!
well, I went to see Heidi at the dietician's office. I was convinced in my mind that I was 250 or below in my weight...that would mean since the last time I saw here on 6/29, that I would have lost over 26 pounds....well, when I got on the scale, it was only at 20 lbs and I decided....instead of celebrating...to pout!....well, I am grateful for Heidi, becuase she was not having that! LOL! losing 8-10 pounds a month is the way we SHOULD lose weight..and I have been doing exactly what I should..my body is reshaping..i am doing things I have only dreamed of..wearing clothes I have not been in in 15 years..and I am satisfied with the food I am eating! :) LORD..I am grateful! Well, Heidi has that "fat" model in her office...it is 5 lbs of fat...when it hit me that in the last 2 months I have lost almost FOUR of these:
Let me tell you...hold this for just a minute and it only takes that moment to truly realize how very grateful I felt...how all that self doubt..impatience and petulance washed from me and I was overcome with victory....inspiration...and readiness to do more..continue! It was wonderful..(in a icky sort of way)
It truly is greater through love and support..cause I started my day with the friendship of Adam...the guidance..love of a friend...and then there was the skill and knowledge of Heidi Kaufman and her amazing understanding of what I was going through as I am going through these changes as a dietician..and in between there were the calls from Michael...a lunch with a new friend..time talking to mother..support at work....those amazing students...wonderful connections with others....and of course prayer...and ending the night with dinner with Louise and Michael at Pita Delite and their generosity for the heart walk....damn....that is pretty amazing!
thanks be!
I got up at 5:15 am because I had an event at work and had to be on site a little after 7, so Adam agreed to train me at 6! It was such a great thing for him to do and I was greatly appreciative for him to give me that spot. Now, let's think about this for a minute. Less than a year ago, I barely rolled out of be to huff and puff up the stairs to get to work...this morning, I was making sure that I got to the gym so i did not miss training at 6am...and I was awake to do it! I did not even really think about it...but as I was getting ready to blog, it hit me what difference this is...which is why the reaction I had later in the day was a little, well, if not ungrateful..at the least a little unpatient!
Anyway, I got to the gym and Adam wanted to do the last day of this round of "big boy" exercises and see how I had progressed. the routine goes: 20 squat-curl-overhead presses, then 30 mountain climbers then repeat a second set: then 20 push ups, then 20 squat jumps, then repeat a second set: then 20 crunches, 20 bicycle crunches, 20 side to side crunches, 20 leg lifts, then 20 "heismans"..this is pulling a 50 pound weight while on one leg and then letting it guide me forward in a one legged squat..doing 20 of those on each leg, then repeating the crunches and heismans again. WHEW! Well, I finished the routine. I barely stopped during the routine and I have definitely progressed! I felt so amazing..and it was 6 a freakin' clock in the morning! LOL!
So, it was a great training and then off to the event at work that was so wonderful where our students just shone so wonderfully and the rest of the day was great!
well, I went to see Heidi at the dietician's office. I was convinced in my mind that I was 250 or below in my weight...that would mean since the last time I saw here on 6/29, that I would have lost over 26 pounds....well, when I got on the scale, it was only at 20 lbs and I decided....instead of celebrating...to pout!....well, I am grateful for Heidi, becuase she was not having that! LOL! losing 8-10 pounds a month is the way we SHOULD lose weight..and I have been doing exactly what I should..my body is reshaping..i am doing things I have only dreamed of..wearing clothes I have not been in in 15 years..and I am satisfied with the food I am eating! :) LORD..I am grateful! Well, Heidi has that "fat" model in her office...it is 5 lbs of fat...when it hit me that in the last 2 months I have lost almost FOUR of these:
It truly is greater through love and support..cause I started my day with the friendship of Adam...the guidance..love of a friend...and then there was the skill and knowledge of Heidi Kaufman and her amazing understanding of what I was going through as I am going through these changes as a dietician..and in between there were the calls from Michael...a lunch with a new friend..time talking to mother..support at work....those amazing students...wonderful connections with others....and of course prayer...and ending the night with dinner with Louise and Michael at Pita Delite and their generosity for the heart walk....damn....that is pretty amazing!
thanks be!
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Day 243: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
Great couple of days, but I would be lying if I said I had not been freaking out a little. I am petrified of the dentist. Even though she is one of my closest friends, I just do not do well with them and it is a stressful event for me. So much so that I generally have to be knocked out to go. However, I do not drink alcohol and have a highly additictive personality so I have this catch 22 of also hating to take any narcotics. Dr. Miles, Sandra, perscribed me the valium for the appointement that was going to take 3 hours yesterday..and I was ready to take them. A couple of nights before somethign happened where I remember a family member who had been severly additcted, and not of her own fault at all given the time and circumstances of the way women in particularly were hooked on those drugs, to these pills, and it got me to thinking...I just don't need to do this. I was also dealing with a friend who is withdrawing from nicotine and as we were talking I shared with him my use of the serenity prayer and how, many years ago, when I went through another issue in my life adn in years since then, when I have gone through things that I just could not or felt I could not handle on my own, that prayer literally saved my life. Funny..or not so funny how things come up when you need them. So, I said it, and I used it and i showed up for my dentist appointment and not only did I get through it..I laughed during that apppointement..I took pictures..I actually had a good time..if such a thing could happen in a dentist chair! But seriously..I saw the blue sky about the beautiful chruch across the street..I saw sandra's blue compassionate eyes..I felt the warmth of everyone in that office..all becuase I got out of my fear, turned it over to somethign greater than myself and let go...
I say all this, becuase so much of this journey has been about that..saying the serenity prayer..that wisdom..courage, strength..acceptance....becoming GREATER THAN..through love and support. God...a higher power working through others and really seeing it..still....in news ways everyday..in such beautiful ways.
This week has been abundant in this. I have seen it in an old friend who is now a Lutheran minister (and Lord knows from our college days he has grown! LOL!) but he has always been such a loving person and this week, he shared somethign that was EXACTLY what I need to share with others about so much fo the hate I was seeing in the world. My own mother had an experience, that while frightening, showed how much love was around her, in neighbors, my step dad, michael and the amazing staff at New Hanover, I saw it in my Rotary from someone who is so different than myself who honored me..but saw how we were alike..I saw in work from my students as they spent so much time writing thank you notes to their donors for their scholarships, I saw it at home when Michael went and got us dinner after I spent those three hours in that chair..such a simple, but loving act....
Damn, It is such a blessing to see all this love and all this goodness...and it is there...It can be so hard to see somedays because of all the mess in the world..but it is there...and I have not even captured it all!
Thanks be..Thanks be to God!
Thanks Be for the serenity Prayer!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
I say all this, becuase so much of this journey has been about that..saying the serenity prayer..that wisdom..courage, strength..acceptance....becoming GREATER THAN..through love and support. God...a higher power working through others and really seeing it..still....in news ways everyday..in such beautiful ways.
This week has been abundant in this. I have seen it in an old friend who is now a Lutheran minister (and Lord knows from our college days he has grown! LOL!) but he has always been such a loving person and this week, he shared somethign that was EXACTLY what I need to share with others about so much fo the hate I was seeing in the world. My own mother had an experience, that while frightening, showed how much love was around her, in neighbors, my step dad, michael and the amazing staff at New Hanover, I saw it in my Rotary from someone who is so different than myself who honored me..but saw how we were alike..I saw in work from my students as they spent so much time writing thank you notes to their donors for their scholarships, I saw it at home when Michael went and got us dinner after I spent those three hours in that chair..such a simple, but loving act....
Damn, It is such a blessing to see all this love and all this goodness...and it is there...It can be so hard to see somedays because of all the mess in the world..but it is there...and I have not even captured it all!
Thanks be..Thanks be to God!
Thanks Be for the serenity Prayer!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Day 240: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
Snacks are just plain evil if I let them and lately I have let them! Oh, don't worry, I am not eating chocolate bars and cheetos like i used to, but at the same time, I am eating too much of the good stuff in my life and frankly, that mess can sneak up on me as well. Here's why....Part of my issues all along have been eating constantly and eating the wrong stuff. Well we got rid of the wrong stuff, but I stilll have this "eating constantly" thing that rears its ugly head every so often. A lot of it has to do with stress and some of it has to do with my physological reaction to the foods I am eating. Yep, I have learned that when I am eating things that I like and there is this great combination of salt and fat, I am likely to just want to eat more and more all daggone day! What I am learning through all of this is that if I am going to eat something that has that combo (like hamburger and a salad with my favorite lowER fat ranch) then I have to be prepared to STOP myself from eating all day...and taking care of myself...maybe chewing gum after to stop the taste..even rinsing my mouth out with listerine..yep..you heard me. Folks, I am learning and I have shared before that I can have a lot, but there is a physical reaction. So, if I am going to choose to eat things that give me cause to want to eat all the time, well I gotta do things to take care of Bo!
The stress part, well, that one is a little trickier, becuase I am sometimes not aware of my stress until I am in the thick of it..usually on my third snack of hummus and crackers or my second helping of pretzels and lowER fat ranch...or my second bowl of sugar free ice cream...all of which if done ONE of ONE in ONE night would be fine, but two or one of each in a night...that ain't helping ontop of a meal :)
Bottom line...food don't fill the emotional...don't fill the stressful..don't solve problems...don't make anything better....and I am a lot better today for knowing that!
Now, throughout my little snack attack this week..I have worked my butt off in my exercises and I am proud of myself for that! I in fact..I bought 40 inch waist pants this weekend..did you hear me..40 inch! Pretty amazing for someone back in January who was pushing out of 54s! :) I am stunned by them..and so very grateful! So very grateful!
I am ready for a great rest of the week!
thanks be!
The stress part, well, that one is a little trickier, becuase I am sometimes not aware of my stress until I am in the thick of it..usually on my third snack of hummus and crackers or my second helping of pretzels and lowER fat ranch...or my second bowl of sugar free ice cream...all of which if done ONE of ONE in ONE night would be fine, but two or one of each in a night...that ain't helping ontop of a meal :)
Bottom line...food don't fill the emotional...don't fill the stressful..don't solve problems...don't make anything better....and I am a lot better today for knowing that!
Now, throughout my little snack attack this week..I have worked my butt off in my exercises and I am proud of myself for that! I in fact..I bought 40 inch waist pants this weekend..did you hear me..40 inch! Pretty amazing for someone back in January who was pushing out of 54s! :) I am stunned by them..and so very grateful! So very grateful!
I am ready for a great rest of the week!
thanks be!
Friday, September 03, 2010
Day 236: Becoming Greater Than Through Love and Support: The Cape Fear Heart Walk Journey with Adam Freeman
I hope everyone survived the storm of Earl!LOL! I hate to treat it lightly because I know we dodged a bullet, but it was truly a non-event that you would have thought was the second coming given the news nationally. I am so grateful for our local WECT cause they always keep it in perspective and always have and help to keep us calm...even when it is serious. We still have a ways to go. but for today, I am grateful.
I left work on thursday and headed for the gym because I had a dinner I was expected at around 6. Regardless, I had to get in my cardio. I got in and did 6 minutes on a new machine Adam had shown me..the rowing machine. Frankly, it is a tough one, keeping it at the level he wanted me to, but I actually like it. The way they have the machine positioned upstairs you look out over the gym,but more importantly, it looks out of the windows. It was great. I could well imagine that I was "rowing" outside! Adam had me do five minutes and that was tough when I first tried it..so that was my goal..but I counted my breath like I did on the elliptical and was not through with 300 so I stayed on until I was over 6 minutes.
I got off and got on the ellipitcal and then went to my level 15 adn stayed above 7.5 miles an hour on that one for the rest of the 30 minutes. I was able to knock that out, get home, get dressed and get to the Hilton and it was only 6:30 when I arrived! not bad! :) and I burned over 400 calories on the elliptical alone! :)
I was happy though because I made sure it was a priortity and by doing so I was still able to to do the other things I had planned!
This am I got in and Adam knocked it out of me! We had a great work out and I got through the whole routine with abs included! I was really happy with that and I think he was too! I have to get my but down though more on my pushups with side rotations. I will work on that!
I am looking forward to a night in the gardens tonight!
thanks be!
I left work on thursday and headed for the gym because I had a dinner I was expected at around 6. Regardless, I had to get in my cardio. I got in and did 6 minutes on a new machine Adam had shown me..the rowing machine. Frankly, it is a tough one, keeping it at the level he wanted me to, but I actually like it. The way they have the machine positioned upstairs you look out over the gym,but more importantly, it looks out of the windows. It was great. I could well imagine that I was "rowing" outside! Adam had me do five minutes and that was tough when I first tried it..so that was my goal..but I counted my breath like I did on the elliptical and was not through with 300 so I stayed on until I was over 6 minutes.
I got off and got on the ellipitcal and then went to my level 15 adn stayed above 7.5 miles an hour on that one for the rest of the 30 minutes. I was able to knock that out, get home, get dressed and get to the Hilton and it was only 6:30 when I arrived! not bad! :) and I burned over 400 calories on the elliptical alone! :)
I was happy though because I made sure it was a priortity and by doing so I was still able to to do the other things I had planned!
This am I got in and Adam knocked it out of me! We had a great work out and I got through the whole routine with abs included! I was really happy with that and I think he was too! I have to get my but down though more on my pushups with side rotations. I will work on that!
I am looking forward to a night in the gardens tonight!
thanks be!
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Day 234: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman
I think I am always going to miss tuesday on this blog as it is the biggest day of the week for meetings after work and then rotary. But I have to share the most amazing feeling that happened at rotary yesterday. first, I love rotary becuase it's motto is "service above self" and the group that I am in, well, we have radically differing views, but we have great discussions and we are all focused on service. So regardless of our differences, we are bound by our committment to others and our community. It is almost as if the teabaggers don't exist in this world. There is a real appreciation of differing veiwpoints and care and concern for what we can do to make things better. It is very special.
Well, at the meeting the governor and assistant governor of the district were visiting. Don, the asst. gov. asked me to stand up. I was not sure why, but I did as I was asked. When I rose, he also asked Colonel Anderson..Andy to stand...and then from a sheet in front of him, he began to read that Andy and another donor had donated an amount in my honor to be a Paul Harris Fellow because he and they believed I lived up to the ideals of Rotary. Folks, you could not imagine how stunned I was. First, being surprised by such honor was mind blowing. I know I will hear about this, but I still don't always feel "worthy"...but to have that recognition was..well, stunning. the other part was that this came from someone I thought did not see me in this light. But ever since I joined Rotary I have come to know this person and the work he has done. It is something I revere now and while we have very different views on some issues, I see someone who has dedicated his life to helping others and someone who has an enormous enthusiasm for Rotary. So, this honor coming from him reminded me, and frankly that is why I am sharing it, that I can NEVER shut down on someone because we may disagree. I was told years ago that if I shut down on someone..shut them out, it may be the very person that is holding out a hand I cannot see that could save my own life. We can learn from ALL and we can grow in knowing each other. It is a blessing that I am glad I was able to see and experience....and frankly, the new health I have been experiencing and this life of wellness has enabled me to really and truly be present.
I got going to the gym this morning. Adam had the big boy exercises for me today as well, but I got psyched out by the scale at the gym. On Friday that messed up scale said I was 253 and today it said I was 256. Now, nevermind that that means..even at the higher number that I have now lost 92 pounds....I was so stuck on the possibility that I had gained something I could hardly hear being reminded how messed up that scale is. I let it get me off so badly that it was hard to concentrate...at first. But I got going and decided to push through...I knocked out the 2 sets of 20 squat, curl, and over head presses with 20lb dumbells, 20 squat jumps, 2 sets of 20 push ups with reaches, 2 sets of mountain climbers...and then Adam said "let's have fun!". I was introduced to the rowing machine upstairs. Aside from falling off the seat like a dumbbunny....I made the 5 minutes that he wanted at the rate he wanted. Then i got to do stairs..running, not walking....5 times twice...and run and jump up and down the ladder (hell's hopscotch!). So, regardless of the scale, I put it out and did my work out! It was great.
I had to the go the dentist and got very bad news. However, my dentist, who is one of my friends and someone I love very much, made me feel much better. On tuesday, I will have three hours in the chair.
When I got home, with the storm in the air, concern about my teeth..I wanted to eat..and eat a lot. So, here I am writing instead. I have been able to take care of myself lately, but I have to make sure I am staying honest about wanting to feed my stress. This is one of the busiest times of the year and there is a lot of pizza and other things around me all the time...but its the rush...the stress that reallly makes me stay on top of my eating.
All in all, it is was two great days!
thanks be!
Well, at the meeting the governor and assistant governor of the district were visiting. Don, the asst. gov. asked me to stand up. I was not sure why, but I did as I was asked. When I rose, he also asked Colonel Anderson..Andy to stand...and then from a sheet in front of him, he began to read that Andy and another donor had donated an amount in my honor to be a Paul Harris Fellow because he and they believed I lived up to the ideals of Rotary. Folks, you could not imagine how stunned I was. First, being surprised by such honor was mind blowing. I know I will hear about this, but I still don't always feel "worthy"...but to have that recognition was..well, stunning. the other part was that this came from someone I thought did not see me in this light. But ever since I joined Rotary I have come to know this person and the work he has done. It is something I revere now and while we have very different views on some issues, I see someone who has dedicated his life to helping others and someone who has an enormous enthusiasm for Rotary. So, this honor coming from him reminded me, and frankly that is why I am sharing it, that I can NEVER shut down on someone because we may disagree. I was told years ago that if I shut down on someone..shut them out, it may be the very person that is holding out a hand I cannot see that could save my own life. We can learn from ALL and we can grow in knowing each other. It is a blessing that I am glad I was able to see and experience....and frankly, the new health I have been experiencing and this life of wellness has enabled me to really and truly be present.
I got going to the gym this morning. Adam had the big boy exercises for me today as well, but I got psyched out by the scale at the gym. On Friday that messed up scale said I was 253 and today it said I was 256. Now, nevermind that that means..even at the higher number that I have now lost 92 pounds....I was so stuck on the possibility that I had gained something I could hardly hear being reminded how messed up that scale is. I let it get me off so badly that it was hard to concentrate...at first. But I got going and decided to push through...I knocked out the 2 sets of 20 squat, curl, and over head presses with 20lb dumbells, 20 squat jumps, 2 sets of 20 push ups with reaches, 2 sets of mountain climbers...and then Adam said "let's have fun!". I was introduced to the rowing machine upstairs. Aside from falling off the seat like a dumbbunny....I made the 5 minutes that he wanted at the rate he wanted. Then i got to do stairs..running, not walking....5 times twice...and run and jump up and down the ladder (hell's hopscotch!). So, regardless of the scale, I put it out and did my work out! It was great.
I had to the go the dentist and got very bad news. However, my dentist, who is one of my friends and someone I love very much, made me feel much better. On tuesday, I will have three hours in the chair.
When I got home, with the storm in the air, concern about my teeth..I wanted to eat..and eat a lot. So, here I am writing instead. I have been able to take care of myself lately, but I have to make sure I am staying honest about wanting to feed my stress. This is one of the busiest times of the year and there is a lot of pizza and other things around me all the time...but its the rush...the stress that reallly makes me stay on top of my eating.
All in all, it is was two great days!
thanks be!
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