Do you see the guy on the right? yep...that is me folks...I think this was the picture that I remember seeing at the time and absolutely going into denial about my weight. It could not be me. I did so well with blazers and poses in front of the camera..I spent so much time hiding behind ( I thought) large rugby shirts). and as long as I could still buy the clothes that I wanted (albeit on line)...then I must be ok.
A few weeks ago..I remembered this picture. It was somewhere in the back of my mind from 09. I was not sure where it was...but I knew it was there. I no longer have to hide from it...I am become free from it thanks to this new life..It is possible. Talk about grateful!
So, yeah..I am reading more than I ever have and when I see these studies on Obesity..it just is so frightening. http://healthyamericans.org/reports/obesity2010/ It shows how hard it really is to try and be healthy and eat well when the norm is becoming the opposite.
I remember the story of a young man who said he was struggling with being sober and his sponsor said "well, what do you think alcoholics do?" and the young person trying so hard to please and get sober said "well, go to meetings, don't drink, and stay sober". And the yoda like old recovering drunk..said, "no, dumbass, Alcoholics DRINK!..what you are doing, by staying sober goes against everything you are engineered to do. But it is a good thing and it is not easy..but it is worth it..and the more you do it..the better you will be!"
I thought of that story when I see the obesity rates. Being healthier in this day and age, where over 30% of our population is OBESE..not overweight, but OBESE...is going against the "norm". Where fast food, huge portions, fat and salt, unreal amounts of fat, are in our diets and are common. High calorie coffee drinks, high calorie everything are everywhere and we eat all the time. Being healthy is not the norm..diets...binging...extremes are the norms. "Treats" are the norm. "Comforts" are the norm. Hell, among some, surgery and additives are becoming the norm. But just eating right and exercing....not the norm.
But GOD, is it worth it. Everyday, there are obstacles that are in the way (most put there by me! LOL!)..but the more I put one day at a time behind the next day at a time, the better I feel and the more I want to feel like this! The appeal of going back to the way I was eating, the way I was feeling, the desire to have the foods and the things that I was doing is just not there as much. It is incredible. Not to say that there are not desires, and certainly there are days when that elliptical is somethign I would love to see explode as I lay on the couch! LOL!...but I just don't need that life...not now. That picture reminds me of how awkward it felt. I am not that body and I want more and am more than that.
I am grateful today that yesterday I had a great workout of boxing and sprints and even a little running, and last night, when I got some great news, my "celebration" was being with Michael over a piece of fish..not a pound of steak and a baked potato with cheeses and butter followed by a half gallon of ice cream. I had a wonderful time last night and can enjoy more...and be ready for more.
Thanks be to God for this day and the last..and I pray that if I have another..there may be one like this again!