Sunday, March 13, 2011

Day 427: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

We ran away on Friday...I needed some time away from town and some time alone, together..just to breathe. I am so glad that we went to Chapel Hill.
Chapel Hill is my "hometown"..it is where i grew up and where I messed, and where I healed and became a man. It holds for me a lot of joy and a lot of pain, but it always is a healing place for me. The latter we very true this weekend.

Last weeked was wonderful, but the week....the week just was intense. Personalities, issues with some I love, and stress. I worked out and showed up for training..Adam and I did well working out...but I was really pushing it this week. I was on edge about alot. A great deal of the things I care about somehow seemed to be on edge right now and in the face of some of the things I care about the most, I was faced with inaction by those I serve with...or at least that is how it appears.

One thing you learn about me is that I have a low tolerance for sitting on boards just to say you are on a board..and I don't much care for passive omission when one is the in the position to speak up. As reverend Cher so eloquently quoted Dr. King...I will paraphrase this it is not what we say that we will be held account for, but we did not say. When we could have spoken and chose not to...particularly when it is about those who do not have a voice by those who are in a position to give them voice.


What effect did that and the other things that were going on have?....well, what is a blessing beyond description is that it did not have the effect of my not eating well, exercising, praying and trying to find a way to get my frustration out...and so, we took the opporunity just to go for a night..go and just be.

We hit the road and it took the full two hours of talking and walking through some issues for me to get into a space of letting go..but as we were driving we decided to find a place to stay. Michael went on line and there was a new place that he found called "aLoft" and we decided to try it. We have had pretty good luck being adventurous and thought..why not.

By the time I hit Hwy 54 and what is left of some of the landmarks that line the entrance to my hometown, I felt my breathing becoming easier..a sense of letting the world loose from my shoulders. I remember as a child as we went back and forth down that road on the weekend trips to see my grandparents or my dad, the cows that stood in the tiers of the hills that now are part of an entire subdivision called Meadowmount. But for me, all I could see was that wonderful farm and those cows..and that very happy place. It did not take long to realize that the hotel was at the foot of the hill, and right across the street from our first apartment in Chapel Hill from 1971 and right around the corner from my elementary school. But this place was certainly not the University Motor Motel or the Stuckeys that used to be there...not, this place looked like a smart, European hotel...it looked fun.
We got into the room and the view..the view was of the hill..and I could see in my mind where I spent many of my teenage years...Gimghoul Castle....It was so awesome! I just lay back on the bed and looked out at the beautiful sky and the hill and it was like walking back in time! What a great feeling!
We wanted to get out and explore and a friend of ours had recently sent a notice about a show she was currating. I wanted so badly to see it. We went in search of it. To my great joy it was being held in what was the public library when I was a kid. Turns out that since I was little this building had been turned into several different things..but now, it was housing this show. When I read the description of what the show was...I just loved the perfection of leaving to come here on needing what I needed.
Here I am coming here to "heal" with my home..my history..and elin is doing a show about local histories in a place that was for me magical as a child! I was able to show Michael where the children's section was in the library and where I got my first library card at 8 or 9 years old. I would walk to this place and spend hours in this library. Here i was, with michael, sharing this wonderful show all these years later in a place that housed for me some of the happiest memories of my childhood. It is hard to describe. I just wish I could have done an installation..something with bert and ernie and shel silverstein and what this place opened up for me.
We left the show and I wanted to show Michael the street that I grew up running up and down on.
Sorry the pic is crooked...but it sparkles and that is all that matters. On this street, time has stood still for almost 40 years. The trees look the same as does the neighborhood. It was a magical place to grow up. and walking there helped me remember how fortunate I was to have that as a place to be a child.
We enjoyed our walk and then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just doing what we wanted.
On Saturday we went to the NC Museum of Art and then came home.

What was nice to come home was that no matter how nice it was just to go away...when I walked in the house, it felt so good. Where we were was a place to get away..and in my memories, a nice place to visit with good things to remind me of the blessings in my life, but through the door when we arrived, it was a new and fresh feeling of "home"....so powerful that feeling. Such a blessing all around.

Once we got home, I have had the privilege this weekend of just being there when I was needed by someone I am very proud of and someone who I admire for walking through adversity acting in a manner that shows maturity and heart. It is always a privilege to be a friend. That is something I do not take for granted. It has made the weekend an amazing journey....

I look forward to tomorrow, if I am granted that. But I am so very grateful for today.
Thanks be to God!

1 comment:

Jim Penny said...

"the pic is crooked...but it sparkles and that is all that matters"

Indeed, that is all that matters so many days.