Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Day 451: Greater than through love and support

I am going to do an entire post about my birthday, but I needed to write about something that really came up in me as I was running today.

It really hit me today what it means to be a friend. What is required to be my friend. A lot of my thinking came from the blessings that transpired from my birthday weekend and how many people mean so much to me. It makes it even more glaring when I see dishonesty, appearances, and fear that rattle and plaque so many relationships around me. But moreover, the disfunction that is part and parcel of relationships built and lasting that have no real communication. Don't start thinking about people you know I know and start thinking about drama...this is just something that was really bubbling today..how very real friends are ..and what friendship means.

For me...it is about willingness and acceptance. I could give a rats ass if you have two cents to your name. I could also care less who your "people are". I also do not worry a great deal about what you look like. Mostly, I don't care that you mess up or make mistakes..big or small. None of that has anything to do with why I befriend or am friends with folks.

I do care immensely that people that are in my life care about others (but are no caretakers), understand the importance of family (but don't define family for others in ways that limit love), see beauty in each other and in the world around them and when things are the darkest actively seek beauty as a counterbalance, strive for the positive in real and sustainable way, and when they make mistakes, and they will and do..they seek ways to address them...and hold themselves responsible. That last one is the hardest for me and for each of us..but it is one that is neccessary. Essential. 

I love people..I adore them actually..but to be close to someone..to trust and be trusted..I have to know that we are going to be responsible with each other..emotionally and otherwise..that means taking care of the phycical, the mental, and the spirutal...and that takes all of us..helping each other. 

I am constantly amazed at the people in my life who see the weaknesses and the mistakes of others as an opportunity to feel better about themselves. Exploiting pain or hardship as a means to bolster their own sense of self or as a means to "get back:" or take advantage. Not just people who like fat jokes..but people who like to tell stories about adultry..or violence..someone else's defects or faubles. Don't get me wrong, this tongue of mine should fall out fo my mouth from doing the same..and I hate it in me as much as I hate it in otehrs..but I see it and I know that I cannot live that. I know that that is NOT what I want or can want for myself or in others. 

I repel from the idea that my worth is lessened becuase I associate with someone who is imperfect. As a spiritual person..hell, as a someone who professes Christ, it is just the opposite! To associate with those who are imperfect is to associate with OURSELVES..and to heal each OTHER. The trick is to not try and do it for the other person..but to be a loving support. To be my friend..you have to take help and show that you are willing to go to ANY LENGTH to get better..to be better. You show that..you have me for life. Do the opposite..well, I am out of here. And you damn well better expect the same of me.

But, to take joy in someone's lack of success, someone's pain, someone's harship or imperfection...the older I get..the more repellent, the more repgunant that becomes. Mostly because I am old enough now to see my own imperfections..my own flaws..I have made enough mistakes..I know I am not perfect..so who the hell am I to judge. My job is to love. My Job is to do what I can to do right by others. And those who I am closest to..well....my job is to acknoweldge, cherish, and keep on earning that gift each and everyday!

Bottom line..to be my friend..you have to show compassion and love. Fine..get angry when you see arrogance, avorace, selfishness...but have a heart to remember that there are those who can and do change and learn and grow...and they do so because we love them enough to see that in themselves...many people did for me...and I became a friend to myself and am here as a result.

Amen? Amen....: )

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