Sunday, July 31, 2011

Day 544: Greater than through love and support

I am sitting at Papa Austin's desk (my great grandaddy), and the thunder outside is, well, it is kind of wonderful. I moved this desk back in the house because, well, it is one of the most special pieces from a very special place, from a special person...and I just wanted to keep it.

Last year when we made the big changes in the house (the outer surroundings changing as I changed...etc)...I/we decided to sell some of our family things and some of the pieces that were handed down. About a month ago I was finally able, after years of trying, to get a leather chair for Michael. I closed it up in his office and when he came home surprised him with it. But what hit ME when I opened the door was this intense smell of good leather. In a flash, I was in the summer, back in Fuquay. My mother's mother, Grandmother Lois,  would always pry me away from the overly air conditioned, darkened den (she kept the curtains closed all day so her sister from across the street could not see what she was doing...particularly if she was still in her nightgown during the day!), her giant TV (she had CABLE..and that was a BIG deal then!) and send me off to see her father and mother. I would go, reluctantly...but when i got there..I was always glad that I did!  I would enter in the back by the den of Papa's and Mama's. Papa's big swivel leather chair in the corner where he always sat was the focus of the room and the smell of that leather and his pipe smoke was as aromatic as any scent I have ever encountered.  The desk that I am sitting at was in between he and Mama, and I sat across the room in a goose neck rocker and got to listen to stories from both of them (well into their 90's), until I was 13 years old. Think about it...Papa and Mama were born 20 years after the civil war...the stories that they told and the things they had was amazing.

Having this in the bedroom to write on, to is a connection to a part of me that is...simply comforting. We have a rule that nothing comes in the house unless it has a use and a place. This desk is my gratitude desk. I will write my blog here and thank you notes. That will be the use of it and given from whom it came, how it was used by them, and what it means to me, that only seems right. If fact, I knocked my first note off right before I started this blog tonight. It just feels good.

This has been a very intense weekend of gratitude. On Friday, I vlogged:

the jist being that I am at the point in my working out and living well that it is dangerous. So many HUGE changes have happened. They are smaller now. The "pink cloud" and the euphoria of a lot of the success has begun to dissipate and now it about not only maintenance but moving forward with living healthily one day at a time always. No one is doing to do it for me...and it means that i have continue to reach IN to me and show up! and reach OUT to those who love and support me and not allow myself to get out this wonderful path!

Certainly Saturday was an amazing wake up call that I have a lot still to enjoy if I keep at it! I got up and went to volunteer at a mile timed race that Without limits coaching was hosting with Go Time and while there two friend encouraged me to run. I did and ran my first mile under 10 minutes ever! In fact, I ran the mile in 9:26! It was freakin' amazing. Just to make sure it was not a fluke, I got on my bike today and after doing the loop around UNCW, I went to the track and ran was almost the exact same time! :)...It felt AMAZING!

The biggest part of the weekend though was our anniversary. We have combined our Holy Union Anniversary, our "first meeting" anniversary" with this date since it was the date that we were legally married in Massachusetts. We are on 15 years. For me..well, that is more than a miracle. I said to one of the runners on Saturday that "I was loved at 220..then 350..and still never seemed to make a difference..tell me I am not the luckiest man walking the face of the earth." I can assure you that I know how blessed I am in this relationship. In fact, it is part of this desk's history. Mama and Papa were together for 75 years before Moma died. Nothing perfect in them....but I know they "got it" when it came to being grateful...We take it to the next level of not just making a life together..but also..LIVING a life together. I truly cannot imagine any other life....

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