Monday, July 18, 2011

Day 531: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

My favorite movie of ALL time is "hunt for red october"...I have watched that movie...oh, about 1000 times.  There is a line in it in which the captain recalls that when cortez traveled to the new world and landed, he burnt his ships. Thus, the sailors where highly motivated to explore the new lands. I thought about that line a lot last night I was finishing something i have been doing off and on for a while now: I got rid of ALL of the big and tall clothes in my closet.

Up until now I have gone through and gotten rid of some shirts. Selling them on E-bay and using the money for charity. I even mailed them with information about the American Heart Association and my journey hoping that perhaps the next recipient of the items might be inspired. But I have held on to a TON of stuff. No more. Last night, after hours of pulling and proding, it is all in bags, ready to leave the house.

But holding on to them is not an option..see, I am not going back. None of this "fat clothes" bs...this is a lifestyle change and I have made it. I am "burning the ship" of my 3x, 4x shirts, my 48-54 inch waist pants, my 3x rugby shirts (ok..that one hurt..I have a collection of these and I LOVE them...but not enough to go back..but damn....LOL!) Holding on to any of these clothes says that it is ok to not do what I am doing for myself today for my health. It is not. Moving forward and staying the course....exploring more of this unchartered world of health and wellness, that is where it is at!...ok..enough with the analogy...but it is good...and there is a certain freedom in "letting go".

It is shameful how much clothing there is. I did this thing when I got larger in buying clothes..and lots of them that were like the quality clothing that I had always worn. See, somehow if I could keep up the appearance that I was wearing the same clothes as I had always worn, then, well, it was not that bad. Never mind that I could only either shop online or in the big and tall sections of stores.

Every once and a while I would go into one of those "regular stores"..the amber-expressed-navy-buckle places and I would feel like the sales people would just stare at me like.."really?...can we help you find your way out?" I felt like a total perv in those places. Typically I would look at hats and accessories and slink out trying not to be noticed. However, this weekend, Michael and I where in the mall and he wanted to go into Express. The salesperson asked ME if there was something I, mind you, I am about 20 years too old for those clothes..but he nonetheless asked ME if I wanted to try on something..he thought I could FIT into those clothes...and the cool thing is...If I was really have a mid-life crisis and wanted to dress inappropriately young...I could have fit in those clothes! It was AWESOME! I felt completely free and it was nice!

Another blessing along the way of many blessings...
Now, what to do with all these clothes..I guess have a sale and figure out how to convert the cash to the Heart Association!
Thanks be!

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