well, i made it to the gym this morning. Have not heard me open up that way in a while huh? well, it is still awesome to show up and it is still amazing somedays to make it. It is cold now in the morning and frankly a little success can make it seem like I don't have to go sometimes. But, I know that that success comes from the work that I have been doing and I also know that I feel better when I go..so it is motivation! I had a great work out with Adam and shared some great time with him too. What a great friend and person he is. I admire him so as he also grows.
So..I go..and I am glad I did.
The cold air hit me this morning and it woke me up on my run to warm up. I am doing a mile and a half each morning before we work out and it feels good. I know that I am getting stronger and faster. But not matter how good I feel it never fails that in the first 3-6 minutes of any run, I want to stop..my body and my mind try and tell me to walk..turn around, quit....it is so weird...but I push through and get to that point where it feels so good...and I get in this stride that feels free and clear. I never dreamed of feeling that way. But I have to push through those 6 minutes..ya know? that is the hardest part. Those are the 6 minutes that have kept me back most of my life. Those are the minutes and thoughts that kept me frm succeeeding most of the time. No more.
I was reading this morning in one of my mediation books a quote by oliver wendell homes that boiled down to not living life in the momement but always waiting to live when we have gotten to this point of done this thing or taken care of this thing..always putting off life or something we want to take care of something in the way...those 3-6 minutes that always stopped me from running free and making it to my goals. It was really powerful seeing that together this morning. Seeing all that I have heard and believed about a day at a time and living in the moment and understanding it...but also seeing how to try and live it more actualized.
Michael, by the way, gave me that meditation book back in 2003. I am truly blessed to be loved enough to have someone so thoughful to give me something so valuable...I never forget that. Ever.
Thanksgiving was as special if not more so than it ever has been. Not only dwas a i present and really there spiritually and mentally, I was there phsyically...becuase I did not over do...yes I enjoyed the meal and got to eat things i don't normally eat..but one plate..not two..and one desert..my mother's AMAZING apple cake..and my aunt Judy's amazing Turkey and Dressing..but I left full and not bloated! What a great feeling! Talk about a change! A blessing!
There can be thanksgiving without regret!