Day 742: Greater than through love and support

I am setting some goals for myself, one day at a time. I have found that I do work better with some guides to go by and there are some things that i want to incorporate into my week to enhance my overall health and wellness. Last week was kind of rough in some ways.

Don't get me wrong..it was an amazing week of engagement, activity, output and some other great things..but I have to be honest with myself: I did not cook at home, ate things that were way not healthy for me, portion control was out of control, and stress was the rule of the day. I conned myself into thinking "this is my one night to have this or that..and well, it was a couple of nights like that. While the aggregate effect never led me to a McDonald's and I never cracked open a box of little debbie's...I did not feel good about my choices. It is the not feeling good that I don't like more than anything. I had some very major events this past week that were a part of some very new parts of my work and I wanted very much for them to go well, and I let that get me a little...ok..a lot. Stress and taking care of myself....that is the struggle.

On the pro side, I showed up for training on monday and wednesday and kicked butt both times. I ran on tuesday and thursday and did a great job both times and today I went on the 6 mile survival run and had a great time and really took the time to take the rest of the day off to heal, chill, and just be. So, there were no tragedies here, I just want to keep some things moving forward and not go in a different direction. After all..I know me better than anyone! :) Part of staying healthy and moving forward is to inventory what is going on and seek out ways to stay on track. In the past, when the road diverged, it went backwards...I am forging ahead...this path is to be trod anew.

So...this week: I want to add more water to my day. cook dinner each night and cook breakfast each morning. i want to connect with one additional training help that will enhance my running. and i want to make sure that I am taking time to do something fun for us and me.

I am trying really hard above not to say NO to anything above but to say "yes" to things that add and give me some good things. Does that make since? I am not saying Don't eat out..Don't drink diet coke, Don't  Don't don't. It is never, I have found these last two years...and hell, these last 23 years, about denial, it is about adding...about having more of things that add, create better, different, more, etc. It is not semantics at all...it is affirming..it is enriching and it is just the way it is...the more water i drink, the better results I am going to get...the more I cook dinner, the less fat, cholesterol, and most importantly flavor I am going ot have...plus time with Michael and more money for both of us, when I cook breakfast, I am more satisfied for many of the same reasons as above (my 2 eggs, candadian bacon and fat free cheese! It rocks..with whole wheat toast)...oh...and I am going to have tea..and coffee...and by doing this I won't need diet coke..which by the way is toxic..or at least the aspartame is. and the additonal advise for training on my running is just going to help me enjoy it more...and having fun..well, that is about the stress..and the leveler there!

I gotta write all this out...cause for me it is about thinking it through...tomorrow when I get it up, it is about recommitting to it..and sometimes, I have to recommit to it hourly or minute by minute...but I am recommitting to things that are affirming...not committing to saying "no" to things..or even to myself...but committing to saying yes to this amazing life and good things that can and do make it so much better to live!

Anyway..here's to the rest of the gift of NOW..and if granted the gift of tomorrow...I have some goals..will place them fully in view and in focus, while my will and my life, I have decided, are in the hands of my higher power...and we shall go from there....Very freaking exciting! Thanks be!

Adam Freeman Personal Training  | Juice Plus Whole Food Nutrition!   |Cape Fear Heart Walk! GIVE TODAY! | Crest Fitness | Live Fit Cape Fear! |Custom Fit Meals| Heidi Kaufman Nutritional Services-Dietitian | Bike Cycles Bike Shop at Mayfaire| Boseman's Sporting Goods | New Balance Shoes | Tidal Creek- Healthy Foods! | Pita Delite- Wilmington | Hibachi Bistro on College Road | The Star News | WECT | Wilmington Biz and Wilma | Encore Magazine | New Hanover County Public Health Department | Zoe's Kitchen | Try Sports| VitaCost online NC Company for sports Nutrition | City of Wilmington Parks and Recreation| New Hanover County Parks| Airlie Gardens | The Shell Cross City Trail | Wrightsville Family Practice | Sandra Miles Dentistry | Church of the Servant Episcopal | Active.Com| Without Limits Coaching | Go Time| Cape Fear River Watch| New Hanover County Arboretum| Coastal Land Trust| Masonboro.org| Hook, Line and Paddle| Wilmington Road Runners | Cape Fear Cyclists| Jessica Cooper Therapeutic Services

Day 738: Greater than through love and support

So, we are well on our way into 2012 and I am showing up. I know, it is 2 years and by now it should be just what I do...but I am celebrating "showing up" as much today as I did two years ago....in fact, I might actually be doing it more now than I was then because I don't know about the rest of you, but after I have had some success and get used to something and think I know a thing or two, that is particularly when I am ripe to begin repeating past behavior. What is nice about my entire journey, and nothing unusual for this section of it is that it is all about one day at a time and as a result..today, I am celebrating showing up for training and it was wonderful!

In fact, I have not blogged about training and what we are actually doing in a while. I am thrilled with the progress, but what makes it so important to write about it is that I do actually forget sometimes how far i have come. This morning i was doing my chest press on the inline board with 45 pound dumbbells in each hand..and while it is a work out..it was not a struggle! I remember when I began, when Adam gave me the 10 pound weights and had me do the overhead press and I was almost in tears. Not only did it burn, but I was so embarrassed at being so big and feeling so weak. It was so wonderful having someone there to remind me that I was doing a great job and making progress. Well, that reinforcement led to me believing it myself and actually saying "good job" to my own self and now being able to do things I never would have dreamed of! Just taking it a step at at time and moving slowly, but steadily, and doing the work...wow! :) what amazing results!

Here is the work out: 15 reps of each: squats with 35 pounds dumbells, then incline chest press with 45 pound dumbells, then the pull down with the triangle with 120 (I think) pounds of weight, then overhead press with 30-35 pound dumbells, then step ups with 25 dumbells, then dips off the edge of one of the benches, then bicep curs with the 50 lbs dumbell bar, then 30 crunches with the 10lb medicine ball, then 30 side to sides with the 10lb medicine ball
then repeat three times!

It is an awesome feeling to get through this and to do it well! When I say I love it..it is not that i am thrilled to be working out, it is that after all that time of not taking care of me and being healthy, I LOVE being able to see and do and feel progress and achieve at this level. That is the love. that is a high. It is work, but it is so worth it. By taking time to take care of me, there is this pay off and I can do more and be about being able to do more of what I feel I am called to do and want to do! That is so awesome!

I don't ever apologize for being excited by this or loving it...but it all started with showing up..standing there with those 10...no, they were 8 lb weights...feeling silly...but believing that I could...I could...and damned if I am not...:)

Adam Freeman Personal Training  | Juice Plus Whole Food Nutrition!   |Cape Fear Heart Walk! GIVE TODAY! | Crest Fitness | Live Fit Cape Fear! |Custom Fit Meals| Heidi Kaufman Nutritional Services-Dietitian | Bike Cycles Bike Shop at Mayfaire| Boseman's Sporting Goods | New Balance Shoes | Tidal Creek- Healthy Foods! | Pita Delite- Wilmington | Hibachi Bistro on College Road | The Star News | WECT | Wilmington Biz and Wilma | Encore Magazine | New Hanover County Public Health Department | Zoe's Kitchen | Try Sports| VitaCost online NC Company for sports Nutrition | City of Wilmington Parks and Recreation| New Hanover County Parks| Airlie Gardens | The Shell Cross City Trail | Wrightsville Family Practice | Sandra Miles Dentistry | Church of the Servant Episcopal | Active.Com| Without Limits Coaching | Go Time| Cape Fear River Watch| New Hanover County Arboretum| Coastal Land Trust| Masonboro.org| Hook, Line and Paddle| Wilmington Road Runners | Cape Fear Cyclists| Jessica Cooper Therapeutic Services

Day 735: Greater than through love and support

What a wonderful last few weeks, but today was just...well, lovely.

Adam got invited by a dear friend of his and mine who trains with him to come and speak at his church today.

This individual was the person who had to tell us all at the hospital the night that Windell passed that indeed Windell had left this world. He has been and continues to be one of the most spiritual people I know and leads with a heart bigger than he is.

In his own life, has has taken on being a power of example and taking care of himself being a great steward of the gift of life that he has been bestowed, and because of that, he, like myself, wants to share the good news to everyone...and there we were..sitting in his church this morning. Believe it or not, I just got to sit there and have folks point at me and smile! :) did not have to say anything. It was nice! LOL! Adam, however, got up and spoke. He did so beautifully. He shared a story of a man, early in his career, who had experienced heart issues at the gym, only later to have it revealed that with Adam's guidance, he was made aware of greater issues and had survived and thrived. Adam told that story as the motivation behind why he does what he does, but also as what should motivate each of us to seek out health and wellness for ourselves..to not go down that road where we have to encounter the issues that can stop our lives. He did an awesome job.

Then our friend took the pulpit.  His message was one that was awesome. The text that he used referred to the removal of "palsies" and the bringing of joy" and it was joined with the passage in Luke we hear so often at Christmas when we hear of the angels coming to the Shepard to say that they were "bringing glad tidings that would bring great joy". What was so poignant for me about this this morning was two things: Joy and the delivery of and too the message.

"Joy" as it was described and shared is NOT a state that is passing. It is feeling, a state, a condition that comes into one's life that is sustained by and for greater purposes, but has the overall effect of creating a perspective. A perspective where I am no longer in a state of want..a state of anger...a state where I am more than and cannot feel, hear, and sense the needs of others. Joy is NOT happiness. I loved when he said that you can be happy about a new house, a new car, even a new partner, but the happiness will subside...Joy does not go away. I understood this so intimately and celebrate this, but what was so poignant this morning was relating this sense of "joy" to where I am now. Once I became aware of a power greater than myself, whom I choose to call God, became aware of gratitude, became aware of the blessings, the favor, the love that IS, JOY became what sustains me everyday, in every way. Joy is what IS through whatever heartache and pain I feel, whatever stress I encounter, whatever struggle I have. Joy is always there. It does not pass. I do not seek to be happy, I rather seek to sustain and be connected to this joy. I loved and love this! But becoming aware was only half and that is where my friend this morning really stepped up.

Here is the second part of this that I loved: to whom and who the message was delivered to in the Bibical days and how it is applicable now. The "glad tidings" at the time where delivered to the Shepards: at the time, the lowest form of life known to the world. The summarians, known to be "unclean" despised, and unworthly..beneth the gentiles. This is who the message from God was being spoken too! This was who "gald tidings" was being sent to. This is who Joy was being proffered and told to be expected!

I love this..because here in this text there is this breaking down of prejudice, this breaking down of hate and classicism, and racism....oh yeah...so many don't get it. But sitting in this service this morning, there was this loud and wonderful voice and cheers around me saying "who are the summarians today? Who do you need to go to and offer glad tidings?" "who do you need serve like your own God did?". "where will you get Joy?" if you cannot serve the least among you..but moreover, everyone that is among you with love just like what you are taught right here! 

I was not expecting this this morning and it was wonderful! It was beautiful! It was about all I believe.
What I know of my life is this: that to have the Joy that is being spoken to, then I have to seek out and be a part of serving "the summarians". I have to break down within myself the notions that divide my from others. I have to want to serve others and be not hateful. The "palsy" of my own prejudices and judgements have to be challenged and I have to give, work and be available to  hear, see, think, and feel for and with others. See he so clearly "got it"..what took me time to understand..that to truly have "joy" to truly feel that connection and that sense of my own higher power i had to give away the gifts, the blessings, the love that I had so freely been given. Does that make sense? It is so amazing. I just LOVE It and his challenge to everyone there to go out and be of service to be "the message" but also DO it!

I can sit here and type all day and "talk" about all sorts of things..but its what I am doing....
Sorry..it was just wonderful. So..I wish you all JOY! JOY! JOY!

special post: please vote

Vote on the "BEST OF WILMINGTON"!
http://www.encorepub.com/bestof2011/best_of_foods.php

The very cool part about this is that is creates great opportunity for the things you vote for. This blog in fact was really opened up to more and more folks as a result. So....post, paste and do as you wish. You have to fill in at least 25 items for the ballot to be accepted.

Like last year, I am happy to give suggestions to make that happen, not in all categories and in many there are VERY competing folks for the "best"...but certainly, I hope everyone will vote for Adam Freeman for trainer, Crest Fitness for Gym, Pine Valley Market for best Caterer and for best Chef, Smokey, Cameron Art Museum for best museum (and attractions!), my dear friends Big B and Sandra, Frances and WECT, and if you want to include this blog, please do so bowilmington.blogspot.com ...
and if you need some other suggestions, I am happy to make them. I always get in trouble because folks think I voted this way or that..I am merely offering suggestions and then in some cases, I just don't know or don't use the service. Do your thing and support local businesses! I ADORE Encore for doing this! They are a class act! 
Best Seafood: Cape Fear Seafood
Best Italian Food: OC and Carrabas

Best Mexican Food: El Cerro Grande Best Thai/Vietnamese Restaurant: Big Thai on North Fourth Best Japanese Restaurant :  Best Chinese Restaurant:  Best Indian Food: Tandori Bites Best French Food: Brasserie Best Fast Food: there is no such thing! :)  Best Pizza: Slice of Life! Best Vegetarian Food: Zoe's Kitchen Best Soul Food / Country Cooking: Casey's Buffet Best Barbecue: Casey's  Best Sub/Sandwich Shop: Atlanta Bread in Mayfaire Best Fries:  Best Ribs:  Best Burger: Pine Valley Market Best Panini: Press 102 Best Hot Dog:  Best Burrito:  Best Oysters: Cape Fear Seafood Best Steak: Brasserie Best Appetizers: Cameo 1900 Best Salads: City Club at De Rossett Best Desserts: Brasserie Best Waitstaff: City Club Best Breakfast: Sweet and Savory Best Atmosphere: Cameo 1900 Best New Restaurant: the Kitchen Best Chain Restaurant: Carrabas Best Restaurant (overall): Brasserie Best Family Restaurant: Carrabas Best Fine Dining Restaurant: the City Club at de Rossett Best Diner: Best Bakery: Best Lunch: Pine Valley Market Best Coffee Shop: Port City Java at Barclay Commons Best Take-Out: Hibachi Bistro on College Best Chef: Smokey at PVM Best Wings  Best Ice Cream  Best Sushi: bento box Best Buffet: casey's Best Outdoor Dining: oceanic Best Late-Night Eatery  Best Delicatessan: mccalister's  Best Mediterranean Food: pita delite Best Wine/Beer Shop  Best Gourmet Store  Best Health Food Store: tidal creek Best Sports Bar  Best Neighborhood Bar  Best Bartender  Best Bar (overall)  Best Martini Bar  Best Wine List  more> Best Place to Board a Pet  Best Chiropractor  Best Place for Alternative Medicine  Best Dentist:  Sandra Miles or Coleman Burgess! Best Veterinarian: Best Place to Buy a New Car: stephenson Best Place to Buy a Used Car: cavanaugh Best Local Book Store: books on old front street Best Florist: julia's and or eddie's Best Hair Salon  Best Tattoo Parlor  Best Place to Buy Gas  Best Jeweler Perry's, Reed's or Kingoffs Best Surf Shop  Best Women’s Clothing  Best Men’s Clothing  Best Kid’s Clothing  Best Shoe Store  Best Dry Cleaner Williams Hangers Best Real Estate Agency Seacoast or Intracoastal Best Local Garden Store The Plant Place  Best Vintage Clothing Consignment Bargain Box Best Home Decor Consignment Ivy Cottage Best Antique Shop Michael Moore Antiques Best Mortgage Company Cunnigham Best Apartment Complex  Best Car Wash Cruisers Best Tanning Salon  Best Gift Shop Protocol Best Print Shop Copy Cat Best Hotel Hampton Inn Landfall, Homewood Suites, Hilton Garden Inn Best Adult Store  Best Bathrooms  Best Moving Company  Best Motorcycle Shop  Best Laundromat  Best Catering Service Pine Valley Market Best Dog Groomer  Best Personal Trainer Adam Freeman Personal Training Best Golf Course Municipal Best Gym Crest Best Spa  Best Shopping Plaza: Mayfaire Best Massage Therapist (please list name and business)  Best Bowling Alley Best Arcade/Game Room  Best Pool Hall  Best Local Attraction: Cameron Art Musuem  Best Tour of Wilmington: Bob Jenkins Tours  Best Live Music Venue: Greenfield Amphitheater  Best Local Band/Performer: Susan Savia  Best Local DJ: DJ Battle Best Dance Club  Best Place for Karaoke  Best Place to Buy Musical Instruments  Best Place to Buy CDs  Best Art Gallery: Acme Best Local Artist: too many Best Museum: Cameron Art Musuem Best Theatre Production of 2011: Hairspray  Best Theatre Production Company: thalian  Best Theatre Venue: thalian  Best Thespian  Best Comedy Troupe: timmy sherill Best Local Newscast: wect  Best Newscaster: frances weller Best Local Radio Station: 97.3  Best Local Radio Personality: Sandra McClammy or Big B Best Morning Radio Show: Foz in the morning Best Local Filmmaker:   Best Local Independent Film  Best Local Web Site: What's on Wilmington  Best Local Writer: Celia Rivenbark  Best Blog: bowilmington.blogspot.com Best Thing to Happen in Wilmington in 2011: gravely commissioning Best Nonprofit: too many!  Best Local Humanitarian! listen to your heart..I did  Best Environmental Group: Cape Fear River Watch  Best Volunteer: listen to your heart

Day 725: Greater than through love and support

Somewhere I am going to have to see where I went wrong on my counting! I just realized that this coming Friday is 2 years since I started this part of my journey which will be day 730..and for some reason the last post was day 685. Not sure how I did that..but oh well...I am caught up now! LOL! I did this last year apparently too, so counting days may not be my long suit....staying in them..well I do pretty well at that! :)

Happy new year! I am so excited to have some resolutions/goals/hopes...things to look forward to.
here is my list from last year and it was neat to be able to go back over the list and see what did and did not do from it:

Spiritual:

Yoga at least once a week: hope to have daily practice of some sort integrated by the end of the year.-stops and starts with this,  Karl gave me a great routine to work with, but I just have not integrated it yet.

Read one book a month on some spiritual text or philosophical writing-wrote a lot, need to read more

Walk on the beach/airlie/or other park once a month-this plus running the trail-yes!

Daily devotional morning and evening- did so much better this year

Find an outlet to sing-Did get to perform this year, but did not do this

Mental:

Take a class-took class, but was not able to finish because of job change

Read at least one fiction novel a month-did not do

Have a game night once a month-did not do

Draw-did not do

Learn more about painting and color combos/paint-did not do enough

Physical:

Run a 10k (the bridge run in Charleston)-had work conflict with this, but scheduled for this year and while I did not run a 10k race, I did run the 4miler adventure run in Carolina Beach and ran to the beach and got up to a 12 mile run! :) not bad for someone who could not get up flight of stairs two years ago! 

Do team in training with Neesha- Did not do team in training, but had special time with Neesha

Get the final 20 off- kinda of DONE-But still have stomach issue that I am working on-

Learn to kayak- DONE! and then some!

Move from 5k Tuesday and Thursday to 10k-Done and MORE! :)

Break 11 minute mile-DONE 

So, I feel pretty good about how my list from last year played out. But what I noticed was that things that are about my own creativity and reaction and exploration took a back seat. things that are fun. I need to have more FUN this year. So with that in mind, I am making my list with FUN on the list at the top!

So I resolve, hope, plan, and will this year, one day at a time, and with every good intention and desire, if it is the plan to do so, have more FUN!..fun playing games, reading, going to movies, plays, comedy nights, and doing those things that interest me/us..exploring my creative side! 

 here are some other goals:

• run a 1/2 marathon and train for a marathon
• consistently run under 10 minute mile pace
• run without my shirt by the end of summer and not be self conscious about it. 
• finish my first book with Michael
• Write more consistently
• Keep up with my blog
• make visits to people I care about more regularly
• return emails and calls within 24hours
• and be very clear about what I can and cannot do

This list is short and to the point, but it is just a small list for my personal self. the list about my professional goals, my giving goals, and some others are still being worked on. I am so excited about the year to come!