Thursday, December 01, 2011

Day 656: Greater than through love and support

First day on the new job! Lord was it a nightmare: Caring people, special presents, beautiful space, awesome encounters, welcomes, and a general atmosphere of hope! LOL! was a special day. I was not afraid, but was not sure what to expect...and full of excitement, but feeling like I "had-to-get-started-and-get-to-work-and-start-to-get-things-done-and-make-money- and-do-this-and-do-that-and...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." LOL..not a little type A for, not me at all. What I walked into was dear new friend with flowers in hand and a card of welcome, ready to make my desk and my office bright and warm...with hug in tow...that was the first encounter entering the building! It only got better from there. I looked and there in my chair was this sock monkey. It took my breath away. I had briefly shared at a lunch the story of my childhood, going in and out of UNC hospitals...literally spending the first 12 years of my life in and out of those hallowed halls all the time with severe asthma.

The amazing nursing staff gave me a sock monkey to ease my anxiety and help me get through my attacks. I chewed on that thing through some of the worst moments of my life. Somehere in my troubled teen years, that monkey disappeared. When my life turned around and I went back to school, my mother called me and asked me what I wanted for my birthday that year (I was 25). I told her that for some reason, all i could think of was that, as I said, "stupid sock monkey". I told her (and she remembered), what comfort that had brought me as a child. She looked and looked, as I later found out, and none where to be found, be she found that they had them at the Mast General Store in Vale Cruce, NC. She went all the way there and got me one. It was and is one of the greatest gifts I ever received.

Well, after I shared that story, it was heard by my new director and so today, sitting in my chair was a new sock monkey to make this transition one of comfort and love. Talk about a beautiful gift of welcome. One that I look forward to earning one day at a time from here on out!

the rest of the week has been equally wonderful. I shared a video on Tuesday of discovering the Cross city Trail right here on property and using it to work out. One of the big changes in my life is having working ours that will extend into the weekends and days that will go way into the evening. So, having a shower at work and a place to run and work out right next to work is very important.
I got out and run over to Halyburton on the trail, a section I had not run yet. It was exhilirating and wornderful! A whole new day!

That evening was the first "opening" that I attended and it was over a blink of an eye, but it was many interesting poeple, such incredible art...yeah...I can do this. What I want though more than anything is to share it with EVERYONE..get EVERYONE in here and open this up to so many more people. It is truly amazing. I just don't get how I am so blessed...but I want to share that blessing. That is what this life is all about. I said that I am the "most dangerous man you can hire" and I am. I am not afraid in many ways. I want to do what feeds my soul and creates change in the world around me. This place can do that. I just need to see others come to it in that way. I am dangerous because being "director" is not that important...what is is the is what we do....I can do any job as long as there is long as there is a difference...but, there can be a place to give people an education, a respite from the world, an engagement with their soul, a facility to gather and celebrate in community, so much can be done..and I get to celebrate it..create sustenance for it..and work with these people to do that. It is an extension of what I have been doing for 13 years at UNCW and then some. Thanks be! :)

Each training morning this week I have been so "full" when I have gotten to Adam and the gym. It has been hard to explain my gratitude. How my own transformation has lead to my ability to create follow the path I know God has for me. I am full today in my writing and I know it...but It is a very emotional week of transition and there is so much to be grateful acknowledge. I was on a path less than 24 months ago to death..I was not able to climb I run. I was feeding a misery and an emotional I am feeding a body and soul in motion. No matter what happens...what is in front of me, each day..each day at a time is a miracle..and I do not forget that.

Ok...I will stop. I just want to write down and try and put into words somehow what it feels like. but..maybe just feeling it and trying to live it is enough. thanks be! :)

Here's to new beginning's!

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