Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Day 896: Greater than through love and support!

I think I have quoted this before but there was a wonderful, spirtual mentor in my life 20 some years ago who told passed on to me that "true humility is the achievement of one's own excellence".

At the time when he told me that (or told us that as it was a youth group that I was in) I had no clue whatsoever what he was talking about. First of all I only knew humiliation and exaggerated ego. I didn't know whole lot about what humility was and had no real estimation of my self. At the time I certainly didn't know what excellence meant and while I covered up my shortcomings with the defense of ego I didn't know what I was truly capable of and I didn't really understand what my talents were or what I was able to do in the fullest. As a result I was seeking things that were not in my "excellence" and I was seeking things I thought would make me happy or successful: mostly things or activities that I thought others admired or respected, but not necessarily things that fit me or were or what I wanted or valued or ever felt comfortable doing.

So finding my "excellence" was about living up to my own potential, but moreover, being authentic and true to who and what I am. The way to that though was getting rid of what I thought others wanted, what pleased others, what others found valuable and look at what I found valuable..what was at my core. What is that my higher power had in mind when he wound me up and made me....what was my purpose sans all the stuff that was layered on top and I had obstructed my way with. 

Bob started me on that discovery with that simple phrase "true humility is the achievement of one's own excellence". It was up to me to listen and be ready to experience what that was and is. By being opened to it I began to develop some understanding of what it was that I was capable of  and by truly acknowledging the gifts that I had by realizing the scope in the depths of all that I had that was offered to me that I can achieve so many wonderful and great things but that I had to take time to find out what was in my scope.

The humility part of it was being right sized; realizing that there are some things that I am NOT capable of, and I am one of many, one with many...there came a sense of self that is in perspective (ok..most of the time!) that is not so grandiose, not so out of whack with the rest of the world, that I am part of a community, that I'm part of the world around me and by being right size by being a part of things and there's just so many wonderful things that can go on and that will go as a result.

Why am I am on about this...again? LOL! Well..this is not some sudden revelation..this excellence is discovery..and I have been seeing and experiencing some things lately that have lead me to a place where once again I am hearing that statement in my head; where gifts are abundant all around me, where lessons continue to come into my life and they are continuing to help me to see what is my direction and purpose..what is His direction.

What is it that really is at the core of who I am. Most of you know by now that any kind of issue or any kind of movement that really moves me with regards to anything to do with basic human needs whether it's homelessness or whether it's child abuse or whether it's substance abuse and mental health anything that's about basic human needs drives me more than anything else in my life.

Well within my excellence I know that I can rally and I can be about doing things that are supportive and that are about championing those causes. Health and wellness is something that I have found in my own self and it's something that I can champion.

I guess I'm just coming to the point where I realized that's okay and that's something that I really can center my life around and I can really focus on and really embrace and I can find my excellence in all of that. The latest part of my journey where this weight loss in this new health and all of this it's really brought me to understand the importance of using the lessons that are in front of me to focus in on how I can be a part of the solution where you're part of things that make a difference and make those changes. But it all has to start with me and I have to do the things that are necessary to take care of myself.  I have to make sure that I'm eating right,  have to make sure that I am exercising,  that I'm focusing on myself spiritually,  and that I'm doing those things primarily in my relationship and my relationships that are healthy and they're wise and that I'm doing the things that are necessary to take those lessons and move them in the right direction and see them all as the opportunities that they are.

 I say that because a few weeks ago I was kind of not sure what was going on in terms of the things that were right in front of me and old habits are easy to get into but I think that one thing that word humility where if I'm keeping right size and keeping within those parameters and I'm really focused in on what is my excellence that makes it all really truly possible for me to see everything that's in front of me as an opportunity and I am grateful today for all the opportunities that I have.

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