Wednesday, April 30, 2014

greater than through love and support: an inventory

Over 25 years ago I was given the gift of a tool in which I could do a daily inventory. The trick...but not really a trick, but the process to get to this was to really be willing to take a look at myself. What were my patterns? What were things that cause obstruction between me, others, my higher power, whom I choose to call God? I worked with others and learned how to take that deep and searching inventory and out of that came this wonderful view of myself that continues to evolve to this day. "wonderful" does not mean I am absorbed with ego. "wonderful describes that feeling of being able to "see" myself in a more objective way. I spent most of my life being so hard on me...being downright ugly. The things that floated around in my head were vile, and I took out my frustrations on me! The inventory required that I look at both character defects and assets. That I begin to see myself as a human greater than or less than...just a human and by doing this, I was committed to working on breaking patterns that distrupted my life, hurt others, caused a lack of health and wellness..

Well, I have never gotten this down perfectly, but I am more aware of my own behavoir and very willing to make change when needed. In the begnining I can remember someone gave me format by which to take inventory and I did it night...actually, I journalled religiously for the first 4 or 5 years. But, I started letting that go and relied mostly on prayer and review at the end of the day.

Recently, with all that has been going on, I have been thinking so much about this and thinking about wanting to do it in the more formal, wrote way that I did when I was first starting. But the guide for this needs to be based on who I am now and some of the goals and things that I want in my life and have grown to understand. So, I have written my own nightly inventory. I can certainly add to it, but right now I want to use this and follow through on it.

It is such a great keeps me more honest with myself and those around me...

1.)did I pray today?
2.) did I give the equal amount of time to listening as I did prayer
3.) did I actively listen to people in my life and be present when with them.
4.) did I eat healthily today?
5.) did I exercise today?
6.) did I do something for someone else (without sharing it).
7.) did i do something loving for myself?
8.) did I ask for help if I did not know something today?
9.) did I steer away from conversations that were not postiive and affirming of others?
10.) did I attend to details in our financial matters at home
11.) how did I achieve humility today by fulfilling my excellence?
12.) did I forgive today?
13.) did I seek to understand?
14.) did I seek to be compassionate?
15.) did I seek peace when confronted with conflict?
16.) did I stay silent when neccessary
17.) did i seek my spirtual connection instead of filling anything negative with behavoir?
18.) did i have some fun?
19.) did I stay in the moment, the day?
20.) did I see the wonder that is this creation?'s a high bar, but why not? Why not strive this way. I know that in each of these things that when I do them, life is better. 

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