Monday, December 10, 2012

Greater than through love and support: another day

One of my commitments recently has been to blog again at least twice a week. This blog was for me from the very beginning  a way to pay it forward and to talk about this process and about my recovery in health and wellness.

Since daddy's death in July I've really lost track of regularly blogging and I have to admit that as a result I haven't been holding myself as accountable as I should with regards to a number of different things. As a result there have been some pretty interesting things happening around me and frankly some things that I would prefer to get onto a different track.

Regardless there have been huge miracles and amazing things that happened along the way and of course just because I haven't been blogging hasn't meant that there haven't been extraordinary things happening in my life. But I do know that when I'm taking inventory, when I am taking time to sit down and really write down what's going on, and take a look at what's happening, helps me to slow down and really pay more attention and it's a really great tool.

That said here I am!  I'm on my way to a construction meeting for the new parts that we are building for the miracle field and of course since the last time I blogged I had just gotten this job and it has been just one amazing new thing after another. It certainly has its challenges and there are moments when I just have to remember to breathe because there is a lot to do it. This morning I panicked a little and had to remember that I'm not in control and that my job is to show up and to follow through and do the things that are necessary to make things go as I'm directed. See too often I think I'm supposed to "manage" things and make things happen instead of facilitate things and realize that I'm a part of things and that it's about being a part of the good things are going on rather than being the almighty powerful having to control everything. The project that I'm currently working on was brought about by a bunch of people that really believe very strongly in making this happen and they were volunteers that believed in making a difference in peoples lives. That has nothing to do with me. But I believe in what they believed in and that does have something to do with me and I can be very much a part of it. So instead of trying to control it, I can do the best I can to serve the purpose that we're trying to be a part of. That's where I'm at today. I'm at that part where I'm remembering that it's about love and service. And it's interesting because that's where I'm at about my relationships and that's where I'm about my health and wellness as well. Too often recently I've been trying to manage relationships that are explosive or that or controversy old or that are just out of my control instead of just remembering that my role is to be a part of things and
To love. That my role in this world is to yes be of service but also to participate in a way that doesn't involve all this drama. I'm so grateful to have a loving and caring God who gives me the opportunity to live just that life. Same can be said about my own health. I show up for myself every day and I'm not trying to control it or I'm not trying to put aside who I really a.m. in terms of being a food addict her being someone who wasn't always out there being active for being a part of physical activity. I'm showing up now for someone who wants to live and be healthy and I'm redirected every time I get off that track. Able to love and be of service to my own self and it's a really beautiful thing. In other words it's just a good day

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