special addition: getting started or restarted (with one important addition)

I wrote an email to a dear friend who asked me "how do I get started again?". For me, it was not about getting restarted a year and half ago..it was about getting started period. This post is about the exercise part of this journey to date: an overview if you will.

I have never been an athelete, but I have been very physcial most of my life. Doing labor or working hard was never an issue, but running, lifting weights, exercising was never something that was incoroprated into my daily or even weekly life. So, when I got an office job after Carolina and I ballooned up to 350lbs...the physciality of my life was over and it was surreal how I lost myself..and I thought it was all over...but it wasn't. What had to be over was me thinking I could "think" my way out of this without help...and then truly a gift from God (through Ashley, Kristi via Adam and his beloved Kayleigh) happened:

So, for me
#1) "getting started" meant to have "have a desire" to do something healthy and good for myself.
that was "easy" because I was at a point of change or die.
#2) be willing to listen to someone or somethign new and unlearn the things that I thought I knew or had convinced myself about diet and exercise and do it differently
everthing I tried failed. I had to listen. period.
#3) be willing to be patient and take things slowly
this was and still is hard. But I have LOTS of support and love. This has been and continues to be an amazing gift. It is ONE DAY AT A TIME! and daggone if miracles do not happen!
#4) be willing to fail, to not be accomplished from the very begining: practicing "progress not perfection"
By being a day at a time and remembering I am falable and a human (but never letting that be an excuse) I can always recover and be ok.
#5) be willing

It was #5 that was the most important. I had to be willing. I had to let go of my will and all of the notions, ideas and beliefs I had about what was right and wrong with exercise and listen and be open to experts..or at least someone that had training in these areas that could help guide me. Of course, that person came in the form of my now best friend and trainer, master trainer and head of fitness at 02, Adam Freeman.

Adam got me to first concentrate on my smaller muscles, working with lighter weights, and doing balancing exerices...by buidling up those smaller muscles I was able to do more, safely. I felt "stupid" ( I can remember that so well) with those little tiny weights in the gym with all those "he men" around me. But Adam saw that and help me realize that this was helping me to LIVE and be better. He was right. I could not even look in the mirror at the time I was so ashamed. But I pushed through. I had to be WILLING to believe..Adam, everyone in that gym helped me at that time..Michael at home said how proud he was of me for going...It felt so good and I pushed through on those little weights and amazingly..i was able to do more and more...they/he was right!

All my life whenever I would try an exercise program I would go at it like a bull in a china shop and end up hurting myself..that old notion of "no pain, no gain" was bs...but that was a notion I had to get rid of. This "he man" hurt yourself mess that is happening at certain places in town..nope..I am not going to get hurt..It is about getting healthy and that is what has happened!

I had to also MAKE TIME FOR ME AND FOR THIS! This was the biggest of all! How in the WORLD could I POSSIBLY find an hour to exercise?!! How could I ADD to ALL I DO and have time for everything else that I need to get done? Lord have mercy..oh fiddle dee dee and blah blah blah..well, here is teh deal i am now up close adn personal with. By NOT making the time..but not getting my priorities in line, I was heaving and not being able to breath and get up stairs, was pushing a 54 inch waist..was on three medications: diabetes, heart and cholesterol, was damn near death. Did I have time to LIVE? did I have time to be better? to Honor this life I was given? To feel better? Daggone it..the answer had to be yes..and while I did not feel that way neccessarily at first..I was WILLING to make it happen..to make the effort..to take the time..and as I made the time..I...not IT..got better. If I am going to do the things I love..If I am going to love those that are in my life..I have to love ME enough to show up for this part of my life..and today I can honestly say I do..but Michael, My Mother, My friends..and Adam loved me enough in the begining until I could get to this place..and I thank God everyday...THis is my only MUST..that willingness to make the time..that willingness to take the time. It is essential.

I also had to unlearn the idea that weights were going to take fat off...Nope..that is Cardio with weght training..so as I progressed I had strength building with the weights and cardio to work my heart, burning those calories and helping my endurance..and as I got even healthier there were (as I am doing right now) combining the two to do endurance and strength building on the same day.

Stretching to was essential. How can muscles grow if you do not stretch? It is absolutley neccessary after each run, work out, everthing that is physical. And oh yeah..I am 44..might want to take care of this body..right? Might want to be good to myself while I am working hard...maybe a bath..some relaxation? :)

Form was another biggie I had to learn! Frankly I have learned that if I don't have form right, I might as well not be doing the exercise at all becuase I will 1.) get hurt 2.) rely on muscles that are not part of the target for the exercise 3.) not be getting the benefit of the exercise. Having Adam to show me that form is invaluable.

So...For me...I began on the Elliptical..at first it was 10 minutes at level 8 at 4 miles an hour...then 20 minutes..then 30...and I kept building (now it is level 16 at 8 miles an hour). Then we went out and do sprints..I could not run more than 100 feet at a tiem..but then we would run 2 minutes. and walk. run two minutes and walk..then, I was able to run the loop..then a 5 k..now I can run 30 minutes at 5.5 mph on the tread mill!

Cardio is still at 30 minutes for me when I do just Cardio (not the biking or the kayaking). I am not really good at running or elliptical more than that cause I get bored silly. But get me on my bike or on that kayak...I have to be careful not to get lost! :) But 30 minutes on the former burns 300 or more calories. Not bad for an old man! :)

Same for the weight training. Starting out with sometimes 5 and 10 pound dumbells..now using 25lb and 40 lb...on the leg press, starting out with 100 lbs..now using 300 lbs! But it was slow, overtime progress.

But here is what I committed to, one day at a time, for myself and I love it:

MWF I do strength for an hour in the morning before work
M=Chest
W=Arms
F=legs
Each person has to determine a routine that is best for them in these exercises, but that can be done easily with a consultation with a trainer. If you cannot afford a trainer each time, you can do a "master trainer" session where they map all this out for you and you do it on your own after they show you correct form.

Tues and Thursday and Saturday I so some kind of Cardio: Run, Kayak. Bike..something fun...
on Sunday..I have a day "off"...

This is a life I love...
But I will tell you..had it not been for Adam....the inspiration of the life of his Daughter that brought him into my life and her short time on this earth..none of this would have come to me. God works through so many ways into and through our lives. It still humbles me.

The Anniversary of Kayleigh's passing is coming up and we are going to do a biodegradable balloon release at the Homewood Suites At MayFaire on May 7th at 11 am. If you don't know the full story of her miracle, check it out at http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

If you begining or "re-starting" your journey..I hope this helps. I have said and I will continue to say that the gift that was given to me is one a gift as long as i continue to earn it by paying if forward. I hope that it is being opened by someone right now.

Much Love!
Bo

Day 466: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

This might be the most emotional post yet...You may not know it..but that is how I am feeling. It has been an extraordinary 10 days or more in an  life that I consider blessed more than I could have ever imagined...but Lord knows it has been non stop.

I want more than anything to talk about an experience this week with a flight that I took. A journey that encompassed so much for me. Forgive me for skipping over some other major and wonderful events, but when I came up here to write, it was because WECT was airing a tribute to this event and it was welling up inside of me and I really needed to get this down and share it. So..

A few months ago I was going from one thing to another and racing to and fro and Louise called me to ask if I wanted to be a Gaurdian on the next honor flight. Turns out the next flight was going to be sponsored by the USS Gravely folks and she could ask those of us who were volunteers for the commissioning if we wanted to be involved. She had known that I, along with my honors students had sponsored a couple of veterans for the first flight and I was a big fan of this program--taking WWII Veterans on a day trip to see their memorial, literally before they left this earth! Honoring these amazing people for their service and sacrifice and paying homage to that very selfless generation.

The day she called I was actually upset because I felt pressured and I was not sure what to do about whether to say yes or not or what to do. I had something that day that was going on....but regardless I said yes. Now, when I said yes, it was knowing that I have not flown since November of 1994. On that flight to Chicago I developed an unreal fear of flying. It literally came out of no where after years of flying and I went into an absolute panic and have not flown since....but, having overcome so much I was determined that, damnit...I was going to do this...and I said yes....Oh boy! :)


Anyway, long story short..I got to go....and this is what is so powerful and why I need to write. A gaurdian is responsible for seeing to the needs of three veterans. Some of these veterans are well into their 90's and all have different abilities. It is important for the gaurdian to know what their medicines are, what their abilities are, etc and be prepared. But most important, a guardian is to be there to ensre that each veteran gets to enjoy THEIR memorial and have this experience as unencumbered as possible. Each flight comes with a doctor and a nurse that travels with it and we had unbelievably good ones, so they are the experts on those issues!

Our flight was divided into red, white, and blue teams that traveled together and I was on the white team under the leadership of Clay Whitehurst. He was an awesome leader, organized and just a good soul. He was also very patient with me (as you can all imagine). Every step of the way was done well, planned well, and done with such care and respect. Our Flight director was David Foster, a retired vet, who volunteered to do this and while I did not quite get him at first, by the end of this trip, I have enormous gratitude and respect for this man and I know that while his rewards are stored in heaven (as we are told), he deserves a great deal of praise for his sincere and honest passion for this service to these men and women on this flight!

For my three veterans I had a little bit of an issue in that everytime they would assign me a veteran they would drop out. Only one of the original assignments actually traveled, so it was difficult for me to get to know them much ahead of time. But that turns out to be ok..because I can assure you that I will know them for the rest of my life.

In meeting one of my veterans, I discovered quickly that these men are private in many ways about their service. Oh, they will tell you they served. They may even give you some details. But boast? never. Tell of awards? Accolades? Distinctions...not going to happen. And if any thrill seeker is thinking there is going to be stories of heroic battles with some romance..there again, that just is not the case.

In fact for this one veteran, we did meet (and by the way, I am not using their names out of respect for that very privacy), for a couple of hours in his home before the flight and talked extensively. I thought I knew a great deal, but on the day of the flight, he and I were walking in the memorial and he stopped. He told me that he did not tell something to many people, but he had decided he was going to tell me after getting to know me. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a small card. On it was inscribed that he was a recipient of the French Medal of Honor. So humble was he that in all of our conversation, he had never shared this. I literally had tears running down my face and I said to him that this was the very reason why I was so proud to be on this trip; because folks in his generation walked with such humility. Had that been awarded to someone in my generation, they would be wearing on their forehead. It humbled me. He humbled me and to be with him and to have him show me that was an honor.

Talk about a moment. Here was a man who was in Normandy in June. Helped prepare the airstrip for the allies in Omaha. I was walking in His memorial with him and talking to him and somehow I was called his "guardian". An awesome, surreal, moment.

So that was just one moment, with one of them. All three were amazing....but everyone of them was, in their own way amazing. In fact, on this flight I had folks that I knew in this community who have helped mentor me and been a real part of making my life here who I discovered were veterans by being on this flight. I went to the pre-flight meeting and low and behold a man who has been as instructive to me on politics and this county as anyone was there and still trying to get me to run for office! Miss M from Church comes up to me..now in her 90's she volunteers 4 days a week at Randall Library and when she can comes by and fills me in on world affairs. She was the first person in 2001 to tell me about the dangers of Karl Rove and one of the smartest people I know. It was amazing to be on this flight with them...and then PD...my dear friend Carole's husband...he is a methodist minister and one of my veterans is an Episcopal Deacon and I told them it sounded like the opening to a bad joke...but Lord, talk about making me feel more comfortable on that Plane..him behind me and the Deacon next to me...I was set! LOL!

I am finding it hard to right it all down...for someone who runs his mouth as much as I do..it was one of those experiences that is more "felt" than "expressed". I know that at the moment when I heard one veteran say "this is the last time I will see DC and you made it happen"...I know that you can probably feel what they felt like. To see these men at he DC airport, some of them, dancing to an Andrew sisters tribute group...probably for the first time in years. You can imagine that joy. To see their faces when the bus pulled up to the memorial and the Gravely Elementary School Children where there with Welcome signs to welcome them to the memorial..to say thank you..and to meet them!...When veterans talked to each other...caught glimpses of their past in each other's eyes....and I/we got to stand by and listen and have the honor of being there when that connection was made. You can imagine. When they saw the 4000 stars that each represented 100 dead...and the connection was made. You can imagine. And then....when we boarded the plane to come back and they called a "Mail Call" and letters that had been secretly arranged by the gaurdians with the families came pouring out to each veteran, thanking them for their service, telling them how much they were loved...and then letters came from civic groups, my honors students, elementary students, and on and on and on...you can imagine.

and then...as we got off the plane and we entered the lobby of ILM, Flags aloft, Andy Anderson leading his brass band, the screams and cheers from 1000's as they were welcomed home heros...marching down that center aisle....to end a day that began there and ended there...well, you can imagine.

I wish I possessed more ability to truly tell you more about it. But I hope in some way I have.

If you have a chance to support the southeastern Honor flight...any amount is awesome! It is worth every dollar you give so these veterans can go. http://www.honorflightsenc.org/

Each of those veterans..well..it was a blessing....
Each of those who served on this trip...a blessing....
The experience...something I am very grateful for...

Oh, and by the way...the flying thing..went just fine...:) Another blessing

Thanks be to God.

Day 456: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

If you are having the stress filled fun that I am having this week all I can say is run your butt off and it will get better! :) I swear to you that no better gift has come to me than th release of getting on that bike and literally tearing up the road or running!

It is not a bad thing, this stress..it is just that time of year and i am always a bad planner! I know that it is going to be hectic at work, but of course I still have to have a bunch of others stuff going on as well! Lol! But what is different right now is that I really do have a release valve that is so wonderful! Last night when I finally got home I hit the road with my bike. It was after 6 so I did not want to run, but I still wanted to make it to the beach..so off I went! I could feel the world melting off of me as the air and the what was left of the sun hitting me as I went through the neighborhood and then down the bike path! It was great! I had funny, funky music in my ears and it was just flat out freeing!

I got to the loop, and while it was a work out, I just reveled in it and rode two loops and then back home..15 miles in all in an hour and it was awesome!

This morning I got up and headed in to the gym started my day with a run with Adam of about 3 miles. I was looking forward to catching up after a great weekend, but I have to admit I was not looking forward to the run. About and eighth of a mile in, it felt great and I really enjoyed it and it has set the tone for the whole day! What a blessing!

I guess the long and the short of it is that no matter what is going on, this is essential now. It is actually what keeps me at an even keel and creates for me some sense of pace and release. I keep saying that word..but that is what it feels like. Whatever is happening..there is a cleansing that goes on..there is something that happens that just makes me feel better.

If you had every asked me if I would be in this place with this stuff..I would have said you were insane..but here I am...nice!

thanks be!

Day 454: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I said it in one of the vlog videos that follow that this morning's weather is perfect to exemplify this week...overcast but clearing. Starting out "weirdy", there have been some amazing moments that have brought about some events that have been "clear" and beautiful!

Most moving this week were a couple of friends who either through sharing on their own blogs or facebook talked about struggling or hitting road blocks in their journey's for health and wellness this week and being able to share my own admiration for them, but more importantly that empathy that comes from knowing what it is like to hit a bump in the road and knowing that it is "us" that helps to get past that. Both of these folks, whether they knew it then or not, inspired me becuase they were not giving up or giving in..in fact both, despite having hit a snag were still "showing' up for exercise..doing good things for themselves..and still talking it through. I said to them and I will say again, that takes courage! It was awesome to see and helped me to get out of myself and move through my week as well.

The week was overwhelming at work and it is going to be for a while. It is just the nature of this time of year and it is more important than ever to make sure that I am keeping my priorities straight and taking care to take time to rest, to exercise, to eat sanely. We have snacks around the office....not terrible snacks..but they are the same things that I have talking about for so long...the triscuits, the wheat things, the nuts etc...even though they are healthier..when I get wound up and stressed I want to fill up with snacks and I have to be careful...BREATHE and not grab things to slow me down. I made a connection this past week that I had not made before and really did not have time to think much about it..but until I was 30 I smoked. I had not realized that I eat...or should I say snack...much like I smoked. The "habit" is very similar. Here I am 14 years later and it hits me that much like smoking, eating has that same "habit" feel to it. I am not sure exactly what to do with that..but I needed to write that down before I forgot it. I plan on working with that in the days ahead. I know that throughout this journey with all the changes, snacking continues to be an issue that has not found a resolve and this whole "habit" thing may be something that can help me.

Friday, was an amazing day...I got to go to the Garden Party. No, the garden party in and of itself was not the amazing thing..it was how I felt. About a month and half to two months ago when the seer sucker suits came out I bought one...a size smaller than I was. I wanted for Easter to be able to wear it. I have not had on something like this since 1995. It may sound silly, but it was important to me. When I got dressed on Friday and not only did it fit, it was comfortable, I looked in the mirror and i liked, more than I have in years, what I saw. It was a feeling I have not had in years. I felt ok...good. It was nice. And so when I got to the Garden Party and I saw people that I love and care about, it was such a great feeling just to be with them. Just to hang out and enjoy the Spring day. What a blessing. While at the party Lenny Simpson sought me out. It was humbling that he was after me. But he grew up next door to Althea Gibson and he wanted to share with a glad heart how much it meant to him that the tennis complex was named for her....To see his face..to hear him and know what it meant to him....life it good. So much is worth it all when you see that kind of joy.

I went back to work and on my way back I literally welled up with such a glad heart that I felt like I was going to burst. Then the phone rang. It was a friend telling me of another blessing..where a connection had created another opportunity for him after so much change and so much work for good and added to my own joy was that of another. I lost it...just so..not happy..not even grateful...just overwhelmed by what good CAN happen if I get out of the way and SEE it. when the day was over I celebrated by having time on the intracoastal in my Kayak and then Michael and I had dinner. What a day! amazing!
Saturday morning I got up and headed straight for the River. Here was another goal I have had..to Kayak on the river. I have only ridden the Henrietta to date..never been on my own boat and always wanted to. So, off I went.

I got to Dram Tree Park and the new boat launch and the new Kayak launch...another great thing to come out of our work on the Advisory Board...and it took my breath away. The river runs swiftly and the cape fear memorial bridge is a little bigger than the draw bridge at Wrightsville. But I moved forward. I launched from the kayak launch and was off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR0cCg6i8_M

Once on the river, I found out that it is a work out..but the pay off is amazing and the drift back is amazingly easy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzusa7oHYWo


So, today i went to the "do it for Doolittle" ride at Murray Middle School. This past week a father and son were struck and killed by a drunk driver on river road. It was beyond tragic. What exacerbated this was some of the talk about how we should take out bike lanes or how there should be less bicyclists etc. I was agog at the lack of talk about drunk driving. The lack of talk about those who defend the drunk drivers...and even more so those who were not crying out for MORE bicycle lanes and paths and routes. Then, there appeared a facebook group that was planning a ride in honor of those two...and in leaps and bounds folks were pouring into it and onto it. It was stunning and the converstaion was about drunk driving (and believe me, I may have only been 21..but I understand but for the grace of God go I), good stewardship of our roadways and education of others about safety...etc. It was awesome! I had to go! I had to be a part of this and boy am I glad that I did! hundreds upon hundreds showed up today...It made me so proud to be a part of this community! So proud of Tom CLifford, the organizer...so proud to know that folks can show up and be there in times when there needs to be awareness and support! It was amazing!

I wretched my back a little when I got home and had to rest a little..but am doing better now...it was awesome overall.

It is going to be an amazing week and one day at a time.....well....I am just grateful to be here!

What a life!

Day 450: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Maybe it's the springtime storm outside tossing the trees about and bringing down the temps by about 20 degrees, or maybe its the work load that seems like it is insurmountable..or maybe it is the amazing feeling of speaking last night at the county commissioners,  graduating with a diverse group of folks from the citizen's academy and truly being among new friends gaining new awarenesses, or celebrating a milestone of 22 years since a major change in my life, having a successful recruitment weekend, paddling for two hours on the intracoastal on Sunday...and on and on...or maybe it is just the sum total of all of it..but i just feel weird today. I feel fat, out of sorts, and I don't know. My oar is in the water and I am paddling against the current (now that I have been in my kayak twice, I feel at liberty to use such references being a seasoned boater! LOL!).

So, it is a weird day. Not that big of a deal...just don't need to over analyze...enjoy the gifts and try and practice "HALT"..hungry, angry, lonel, tired...where/when or if  I am too much of any of these..just stop and take time to make sure I am taking care of myself and not going overboard.

It is that time of year..Spring..the promise of everthing renewed..but it is also the busiest time of year at work and there is a lot going on. So, breathing..remembering my priorities and taking it one day at a time, one minute at a time...well, that is the best always. So short post today..but that is ok too...just need to stop..check in..be at peace.

On to the Rest of a good day with weird moments...:)

Day 444: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Really, it cannot be wednesday already! It is unreal how fast it goes!

It has been a great day! Got going early with training. Adam has changed it up a bit with wed being arms and Monday being chest, so that Friday we can do legs and the next day I don't have to worry about running as much. Doing legs on Wednesday makes for a hard run first thing on Thursday morning!

I am, however doing some cardio on training days as well because it really helps. The stepper thing I got here in the house is great and Adam showed me how to use it to my best advantage (ie..not bobbing up and down when I am on it...but keeping my upper body as still as I can and really just working my legs and staying on my heels as much as I can). It is intense and I am burning out about 300 calories on it! In fact last night I added two sets of squat, curl, and over head presses with 25 pound weights on my bozo ball that I have a home. It was great. But at the gym this morning, it was curls first, then overhead presses, then flys all the way out to the side, and then back lifts off the side of one of the benches (I know I am not calling these the right thing...but you put your feet and butt out and your arms behind you on the edge of the bench and with your back as close to the bench as possible, lower yourself up and down until you cry..I mean until you are done! LOL! (three or four sets of all those..can't remember)..then he had me try something new with "diamond" push ups, where you put your hand flat in a diamond shape right under your chest and do the push up from there. I could do a few...that actually felt amazing.

Anyway...what has been cool this week is that it has been INSANE (ok..that is not the cool part)..what has been cool is that twice this week.."no" has been a complete sentence! I don't know if you noticed, but I am not really good at the word no...but I am actually better after all these years..I still, though have to work at it. Well, the other night we had a great time practicing for a charity show. At the end there was a lot of pressure to go out afterward. It was great because I said no and I stuck to it! Yes, I would love to hang with people I like..but my prority is to have time with Michael, be good to me, get to bed, exercise...etc....and by saying no..i could have time to do things..but not over do. Sound like not a big deal? Well, it is for me because when I don't say no is when I get uber stressed and then..guess what...I am eating crap, not taking care of me, and I am all over the place with my own care. It is almost embarrassing that at 44 I am just getting some of this more regularly...ok..maybe I have understood a little..but I am doing better.

The second no was, I was hanging out and we were in rush and the suggestion was "well just pull through a drive through". For a split second I almost did.  But I have not been in a drive through since January 7th 2010. So, no, I don't care if it is for someone else...I ain't doing it. We can find something else together. See, it isn't just that it's crap food...Fast food is a trigger food. I eat it and I want more. If I get back into that routine...well, it's just not gonna happen.

Speaking of trigger foods: my rotary had a BBQ sale today and it went great. But, it was difficult. Again, it is almost embarrassing to say "i am powerless over BBQ"..but...BBQ is a trigger. I start eating it and I want more and more and more. I ate some for lunch and did not go to far..but LORD...i felt it and I wanted more and more and more! In fact a friend of mine laughingly said "do we have to have an intervention!" LOL..and that helped me actually, because it was a way for me to say I enjoyed what I had and walk away" In fact, I brought home some for us for dinner and let Michael enjoy it and I had a healthier left over for dinner. It is essential for me not to deny myself and have something that I love from time to time, but this was the best way to enjoy it without going overboard and it turned out great. I also knocked out 20 on the stepper LOL! :)

Anyway..that's my story the last couple of days! it is amazing and so filled with good stuff! Grateful as always! Grateful! Grateful! Grateful!
thanks be!

Day 440: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

ok...this has to slow down..too much good stuff happening and it is going too fast! LOL! ;)
But I am serious in that so much is moving foward and happening and there are moments when I just want time to fall into some thick goo and be held in suspension so that I can savor it a little more. Even the more dramatic things that happen. But, alas things move along as they do...

Friday, I sat in tears, as I oft do. But these are annual tears. Tears moved by students who thrill me, inspire me, remind me of why I love what i do and why I still believe the world is not going down the toilet. I have been honored for about 6 years to be on the Rachel Freeman Award committee. The award goes to a Senior who, through their service and commitment to social justice has demonstrated an outstanding contribution in their time at UNCW. The award is named for this amazing woman, Rachel Freeman who was a quiet storm of work for just those issues, who, while dealing with her own personal disability, NEVER let that impair her service and advocacy. (you can read more about her at http://www.rachel-freeman.com/ ).

But, each year, I listen as these students talk about their hopes, but more importantly what they are doing and have been doing. At 21-22 years old they are engaged with their fellows, the world around them, and in touch with true service in ways that most adults never fully understand in a lifetime. Friday did not let me down this year as I heard responses to questions that were rich with servant leadership and purposed with an understanding that it is that service that counts...not much else.  What a blessing to just sit there and be in that presence...and with all that I encounter with the political and economic machinations that interfere with our ability to just serve each other...here it was...delivered, lived, and set to live in the future by this/these students. Not bad, right?

I left work and went off to rehearsal..yep, you heard me....rehearse. Last year as this journey was in full swing, Kristi got me involved in a fundraiser for the Carousel Center...an amazing place for Abused and Neglected Children in our region. The event is amazing because it gets community members together to perform in lip sync numbers in different acts. What was really amazing for me was that I was able to dance and do the show in jeans. It was huge for me because I had not worn jeans in years and we had decided to do a cowboy thing. I was petrified because I was not sure if I was going to be able to find jeans that would fit...it was then that I realized that I could get the size I needed from a regular store, not a big man's store. Oh, they were tight all right, but I could button them and breathe in them! It was amazing. It was the first item of clothing that I bought in a regular store in years and it was amazing.

Well, this year I won't be wearing jeans..in fact...well, let's just say it is gonna be very interesting and thank God I am doing this with Peter, Joy, Ashley, Adam, Michelle and Amanda, because it is going to be "something" for sure! :) LOL! If you wanna come...oh, I would for sure. (Carousel Center Gala)

So, today I got up and went straight to WHQR, our public radio statio and had a ball on air raising money for this amazing station. After I left I was discouraged because the clouds looked threatening there was something I wanted to do VERY badly! See, on Friday before rehearsal I went to West Marine and got a kayak! Now, this may not sound like much of a big deal, but for me, it was the fulfillment of a dream! See, a few years ago when I first got the bug to get one we went to the great outdoor provision company to look at them. I have never been more embarrassed than when the guy took down the biggest one that he had and I could not even come close to fitting into it. It was humiliating.  I so wanted to get out on water..to tour, to see the amazing coast that we have..to explore...but there was no way that was going to happen.

Well, with the kayak bought, I just could not wait..clouds be damned. I loaded it in the car and headed to wrightsville. I had NO CLUE what I was doing or where I was going. I just used my instincts on where to go. At every turn my questions got answered. The area where there is a boat launch says that you have to have a trailer, but there were spots under the bridge and I nervously parked there, not sure if you would get towed or not..but there were no signs. As I was getting out, a guy was coming in from being out on his board and he told me that it was where he parked everytime and it was ok. 1st quesiton answered. So, I unloaded the boat, got on my life jacket, got my phone in the "dry case" that my friend arch had given me (and I thought i would never use! LOL), and headed to the muddy shore.

As I laid the boat down a man was paddling to shore in a thin sleek boat. As he pulled up I told him that this was my first time ever doing this. He said he had been doing it everyday for thirty years and went on to tell me what I needed to know to start off my journey, how to handle the boat and some great advice. Now, if you don't think I was not struck at how very cool that was and how very "on time" that was....well, we will have to be introduced! What an amazing thing to happen!

As I thanked him, I got in the boat and pushed off....heaven..it felt exactly like I thought it would..so beautiful....serene....awesome. I paddled against the current out thinking it would make for more ease coming back. I used what Mr. Williams (that was the name of the man I met on the way who was kayaking himself) told me about going straight into any wake and paddled out for about 45 minutes and then I saw an opening in some grass out in the channel. With the birds flying around me, I went in the grass and took this video: (here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsVzdZb9XmY)





So, I get a little emotional...but I am grateful! So very grateful.....

 Links to the Keys to my Health and Wellness Success!

Adam Freeman Personal Training | Adam Freeman Training On line | 02 Fitness Mayfaire | Heidi Kaufman Nutritional Services-Dietician | Bike Cycles Bike Shop at Mayfaire| Boseman's Sporting Goods | New Balance Shoes | Tidal Creek- Healthy Foods! | Pita Delite- Wilmington | Hibachi Bistro on College Road | The Star News | WECT | Wilmington Biz and Wilma | Encore Magazine | New Hanover County Public Health Department | Zoe's Kitchen | Try Sports| VitaCost online NC Company for sports Nutrition | City of Wilmington Parks and Recreation| New Hanover County Parks| Airlie Gardens | The Shell Cross City Trail | Wrightsville Family Practice | Sandra Miles Denistry | Church of the Servant Episcopal |Down to Earth Essential Oils

Day 437: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

so, we started with a giant ball and me leaning against it and running up and down the wall trying to sit down into a squat...then we moved to me hovering my tail above a box and with two legs pushing back and staying on my heals until I was able to squat....then, after I was able to do that (having remastered the ability, basically to sit down), the box was removed, and I was sitting back on my heels, rear end out, back straight and doing squats on my own with no net....then...when I was able to keep that form, I was given weights to hold in each hand...then the weights got heavier...and then just when I thought that I was the king of the world of the ol' squattys...I was put on the bozo ball and told to balance on two feet, hold the weights, do the squats and do the weights over my head with a curl as well...but WAIT!...then, after I got that down, I was told that maybe two feet are just too easy....lets try ONE LEGGED squats...oh yeah...that's the ticket...so now..I am doing one legged squats..trying desperately not to PLOP down on the box when I lower myself down and making sure not to put my foot down when i got back up! But I am doing them! and again...just when I thought i was the dealio...I was introduced to the SMITH...yeah...a medieval torture device in which you put a weight bar behind your neck on your shoulders with you hands on the bar. With you feet in front of you, pointed forward and spread apart, you twist off the safety latch and with the weighted bar resting on your back, you squat...oh yeah! So, squat lifts! We did 25 lbs on each side to start and then i went up to 35lbs on each side...it was quite the work out....

So, why the whole paragragh on this? Well, first, I like a little drama...but seriously, I love the way that Adam has lead me through the steps to gradually increase my strength and stability in order to get me to a point where I can do more and grow. I, for the first time in my life, physically am doing things at a rate and pace where I am not hurting myself and I am achieving and doing things that I have only dreamed of.

It is ironic because the way in which this is happening for me is exactly the way in which I know to be the best way to change and grow mentally and spiritually. It always comes back to the three fold for me: being a physcial, mental and spiritual person. by doing things graudually, I am able to get results that last and that are sustainable, but more importantly have the best possible outcomes for my health and wellness! You would think I would have gotten that...but I am just grateful I am getting it now! :)

Anyway..so far this has been a busy but good week! Last night Kiki from the Heart Ball committee did an amazing job hosting an event at Zoe's kitchen for the Heart Association as a fundraiser! I loved it and she was great with Alyssa Gubberman. Zoe's donating 10% of the evening and that was real blessing.

Today, Michael and I did the loop together after work. It was just good time together...to be together, to destress...what a gift!

So many blessings!

Thanks be to God!

Day 434: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

What a week and I decided to end it on a bit of a bang! Got up Friday Morning and went in for training with Adam! We did arms and it was good. However, during our work out he said that he thought that maybe it would be good if I got in a run on weight training days. Of course I went into "omg..he thinks I am slipping and i look like sh--"...LOL! It is amazing how fast my mind goes there still! but luckily I said it outloud and he was quick to say "hell no!" He just thought that it would be good for burning calories on those days and it would be something i would like too! ;)

Well, as it happened, i just got in the mail a new tool, toy, whatever you want to call it and I asked him about it. Turns out it was a good thing and I can use it on days when I don't want to get out in the weather or just as a convenient work out at home. It also has some serious cardio results as well! 
Check out my vlog from Friday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca0Ktqe9BZQ





Saturday I did something that I have not done in a very long time! I literally stayed in bed all day! In fact I ordered in Indian and while that turned out to be a problem (stomach wise), the staying in bed  and really and truly taking a day off turned out to be a wonderful thing!

Today, however, I had to catch up on some rest from the stomach issue, but when up and out, Michael and I went to take a Spring walk in Airlie Gardens! It was perfect!




that is just a short snippet of the walk...it was lovely! It helped me come back to life a little and get more grounded in many ways to start off the week! I guess, in all honesty, it was just needed. I forget somedays how hard I go at it. taking the time to chill...well, it is a blessing!

This week it is exploring getting a kayak...oh yeah! I am soooo looking forward to this! More than I can say! :) 

Looking forward to the week ahead!
thanks be to God!

Day 431: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I have learned something new today...you cannot force a blog post! Yep..if it is not in the fingers from teh mind and heart..then it is just not there. I tried to write a post this am before work and it was just not there and I found myself writing stuff and not what this was intended to be...an account of this journey..paying it forward. I am not a teacher, preacher, or instructor. I am giving, as they say in another program "my personal experience, strength, and hope" and while I can add the things I am passionate about in that and pepper my posts with the "experts" and things that I find along the way from "purveyors" of good things, this is not about me writing formal texts about health and wellness. This is just my experience. Whew...that felt good and it is...because it is an amazing freakin' journey filled with the most amazing things that happen on a daily basis. What happened this morning when I was trying to write something that felt so very dry and formal felt very detached and very foreign..that is no fun and not a part of what makes this special. Nothing that has come my way to improve my own health or to change my life or to help me grow as a man, a person, a spiritual being has come from anything "detached" or "foriengn". It has all come through the expereince of others..through things, people, places and events that have a connection to something much greater than myself that help to teach me. I want to facilitate that..and I want to feel that faciliatation when I blog...So there! :) LOL!

I had pretty good run at it this morning..but my legs felt like led! Wednesdays are now my leg workout, so by the time I get to the run on Thursday morning it is tightness and and not as much fun..but I did pretty well and Adam and I  ran together. I have learned to walk in between and stretch if it is too tight and that helped a lot. But I kept my pace at 5.1 miles an hour for the run and 3.6 when I walked and got in a full 30 minutes. with over 2.5 miles! Again, just the act of showing up and getting it done feels so good! 
Michael and I had folks over last night just to watch a movie. I am sticking to my goals of having that time in our/my life with people we love..our family. I had lost that connection when my health got so bad..when I was not running from thing to thing, I shut down to often..and It was so hard to have anyone over...even for a movie. It is amazing to see how much I had given up at that time now..and not really even realized it. Gratitude...major gratitude!

Well..I am off..looking foward to this glorious day!
Blessings to all! Thanks be!

Day 429: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Today has been up and down..but what  beautiful day! the time change is playing with my mind, so I did not go in  this am for cardio and have been having a hard time getting to sleep..oh well..still feeling good though.

Had a huge workout at the office cuase we put in new carpet and had to move everything back to where it was supposed to be! That was so much fun..actually, without sarcasm it actually was because we got a lot cleaned and got rid of a bunch of stuff. Sometimes a little "spring cleaning" is just what the doctor ordered. Of course with visitations from perspective students and other things still going on it made it a little chaotic..but oh well! :)

The very cool thing today was the end of the day when I got to attend the launch of the 10 Percent Campaign Launch at UNCW. In short,  this is challenging you and me and businesses  to spend 10 percent of our existing food dollars to support North Carolina food producers, businesses and communities.

I was invited by my dear friend and hero, Dr. Leslie Hossfeld that i worked with to found the WHA/UNCW Campus with, to speak at this launch and set the challenge.

Here is the text of my talk:
"The first place that I got a "tater tot", processed cheese food, and sugar filled pop ups was in elementary school. I don't remember seeing a fresh vegetable in school ever and I do remember there being a discussion back in those days about whether ketchup was a vegetable.

In contrast, have wonderful memories of of every summer my grandmother and most, if not all of my relatives in the area "putting up" green beans, black eyed peas, corn and other fresh vegetables fresh from the field. I can remember those pressure cookers used for canning threatening to blow us all up from the canning that was going on. But what amazing vegatables in those days and it did not matter if you lived in the city or in the country, it seemed everyone had them and everyone had some access to them.

Somewhere we lost our way as North Carolinians...as a people tied to our farming with a reverence for the work of farming and the bounty of a harvest that not only sustained our people in a living, but made us strong, health, and productive people.
I know that I lost my way and that what were "treats" in school...that wonderful engineered combination of fat and salt, that was created just to increase the desirability and my want and need for it by the manufacturers of processed foods (those foods processed from God knows what: became the food(s) that I grabbed in a hurry, the foods that I filled myself with and ultimately the foods that almost killed me.

Fortunately, I had an intervention that would take too long to go into here (but you can read about it at bowilmington.blogspot.com! :) ). But I have been on a jounry for a while and I have becuase of that intervention with folks from the American Heart Assoicaiton and my best friend and trainer, Adam Freeman, and my family, lost now 111 pounds! But more importantly I have GAINED health!

Along the way I rediscovered lessons that my people form southeastern North Carolina have known for centuries: that if it is grown from the land we love, then it is love that we are growing with in our selves!

See, I love food, but life got so busy and so stressed that I was grabbing whatever I could get. I was filling the empty space, the stress, whatever, and not feeding my hunger or giving my body wat it needed to be healthy! I thought that those foods took too much time, to much care, and that they did not have the taste or the desirability.

I was wrong.


I have rediscovered homegrown veggies and products. I shop at Tidal Creek, Pine Valley Market, the downtown farmer's market, Lewis Farms, just to name a few and I look where an item is grown or from to try and support those in the area that are helping to support mine and other's health and wellness.

Today, I am so proud of our UNCW Campus Catering to signing on to this campaign. They are great stewards of the health of all of us on campus, and this is just another indication of the great work they are doing!

The campaign is challenging all of us to buy local! Support the nobility of our argricultural roots. But it cries our for much more: for us to love ourselves enough to give ourselves and those we love what we need to be healthy!

I send a challenge out to the schools to make sure that a child never has the experience that I have seeing those processed foods. That they see on their plates nutrient rich, vibrant colors of fresh fruits and vegetables from their own community and they understand the connection to that food and the proud hertitage that produced it!

I send out a challenge to markets and restaurants..because here is the deal with me: If you want my business, you will have to show that you care about this community enough to buy into this campaign. and this means that you care enough about this area that I care about my own health wellness. If you do, not only will you get my business, you will have one of the greatest advocates you can ask for in me because if nothing else, I will talk about those folks I love and like..and if you are doing this, rest assured, I will talk about you and this ALOT! "


So, that was my "talk". I was really humbled to be there at all! Dan Gerlach of the Golden Leaf Foundation was there as were the members of the Southeastern Food Systems Board, local producers, farmers, the head of the extension office, Al Hight, and my friend Wayne Long who is about to launch a new grocery store that features nothing but local produce and items, our Mayor, and our County Commission Chairman....What a stellar group that are all about the best for food, health and wellness for all!

It was such a great celebration of the change in my life and hope, so much hope for their to be differences made in the lives of so many others..at least more opportunity! It was very exciting!

I celebrated with a 5k around campus afterwards and my favorite chick, tomato, spinach and parmesean bake for dinner for us! Ohhhh...life it good!

Thanks be to God!


the ten percent campaign:
http://www.ncsu.edu/project/nc10percent/index.php

Links to the Keys to my Health and Wellness Success! Adam Freeman Personal Training | Adam Freeman Training On line | American Heart Association | 02 Fitness Mayfaire | Heidi Kaufman Nutritional Services-Dietician | Bike Cycles Bike Shop at Mayfaire| Boseman's Sporting Goods | New Balance Shoes | Tidal Creek- Healthy Foods! | Pita Delite- Wilmington | Hibachi Bistro on College Road | The Star News | WECT | Wilmington Biz and Wilma | Encore Magazine | New Hanover County Public Health Department | Zoe's Kitchen | Try Sports| VitaCost online NC Company for sports Nutrition | City of Wilmington Parks and Recreation| New Hanover County Parks| Airlie Gardens | The Shell Cross City Trail | Wrightsville Family Practice | Sandra Miles Denistry | Church of the Servant Episcopal |Down to Earth Essential Oils

Day 427: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

We ran away on Friday...I needed some time away from town and some time alone, together..just to breathe. I am so glad that we went to Chapel Hill.
Chapel Hill is my "hometown"..it is where i grew up and where I messed, and where I healed and became a man. It holds for me a lot of joy and a lot of pain, but it always is a healing place for me. The latter we very true this weekend.

Last weeked was wonderful, but the week....the week just was intense. Personalities, issues with some I love, and stress. I worked out and showed up for training..Adam and I did well working out...but I was really pushing it this week. I was on edge about alot. A great deal of the things I care about somehow seemed to be on edge right now and in the face of some of the things I care about the most, I was faced with inaction by those I serve with...or at least that is how it appears.

One thing you learn about me is that I have a low tolerance for sitting on boards just to say you are on a board..and I don't much care for passive omission when one is the in the position to speak up. As reverend Cher so eloquently quoted Dr. King...I will paraphrase this it is not what we say that we will be held account for, but we did not say. When we could have spoken and chose not to...particularly when it is about those who do not have a voice by those who are in a position to give them voice.


What effect did that and the other things that were going on have?....well, what is a blessing beyond description is that it did not have the effect of my not eating well, exercising, praying and trying to find a way to get my frustration out...and so, we took the opporunity just to go for a night..go and just be.

We hit the road and it took the full two hours of talking and walking through some issues for me to get into a space of letting go..but as we were driving we decided to find a place to stay. Michael went on line and there was a new place that he found called "aLoft" and we decided to try it. We have had pretty good luck being adventurous and thought..why not.

By the time I hit Hwy 54 and what is left of some of the landmarks that line the entrance to my hometown, I felt my breathing becoming easier..a sense of letting the world loose from my shoulders. I remember as a child as we went back and forth down that road on the weekend trips to see my grandparents or my dad, the cows that stood in the tiers of the hills that now are part of an entire subdivision called Meadowmount. But for me, all I could see was that wonderful farm and those cows..and that very happy place. It did not take long to realize that the hotel was at the foot of the hill, and right across the street from our first apartment in Chapel Hill from 1971 and right around the corner from my elementary school. But this place was certainly not the University Motor Motel or the Stuckeys that used to be there...not, this place looked like a smart, European hotel...it looked fun.
We got into the room and the view..the view was of the hill..and I could see in my mind where I spent many of my teenage years...Gimghoul Castle....It was so awesome! I just lay back on the bed and looked out at the beautiful sky and the hill and it was like walking back in time! What a great feeling!

We wanted to get out and explore and a friend of ours had recently sent a notice about a show she was currating. I wanted so badly to see it. We went in search of it. To my great joy it was being held in what was the public library when I was a kid. Turns out that since I was little this building had been turned into several different things..but now, it was housing this show. When I read the description of what the show was...I just loved the perfection of leaving to come here on needing what I needed.

Here I am coming here to "heal" with my home..my history..and elin is doing a show about local histories in a place that was for me magical as a child! I was able to show Michael where the children's section was in the library and where I got my first library card at 8 or 9 years old. I would walk to this place and spend hours in this library. Here i was, with michael, sharing this wonderful show all these years later in a place that housed for me some of the happiest memories of my childhood. It is hard to describe. I just wish I could have done an installation..something with bert and ernie and shel silverstein and what this place opened up for me.

We left the show and I wanted to show Michael the street that I grew up running up and down on.

Sorry the pic is crooked...but it sparkles and that is all that matters. On this street, time has stood still for almost 40 years. The trees look the same as does the neighborhood. It was a magical place to grow up. and walking there helped me remember how fortunate I was to have that as a place to be a child.
We enjoyed our walk and then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just doing what we wanted.
On Saturday we went to the NC Museum of Art and then came home.

What was nice to come home was that no matter how nice it was just to go away...when I walked in the house, it felt so good. Where we were was a place to get away..and in my memories, a nice place to visit with good things to remind me of the blessings in my life, but through the door when we arrived, it was a new and fresh feeling of "home"....so powerful that feeling. Such a blessing all around.

Once we got home, I have had the privilege this weekend of just being there when I was needed by someone I am very proud of and someone who I admire for walking through adversity acting in a manner that shows maturity and heart. It is always a privilege to be a friend. That is something I do not take for granted. It has made the weekend an amazing journey....

I look forward to tomorrow, if I am granted that. But I am so very grateful for today.
Thanks be to God!

Day 422: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

what a weekend! I love being alive and this weekend was no exception...but was in fact the rule about being so glad that I am showing up!

Friday was the first "date" night that we have had in a while. It was sooo wonderful! I think back in January when I talked about my goals I said that I wanted to really do more regarding "playing" or having some fun and really enjoying this life. I think in the months since we have done some of that, but there is still room for improvement. But lately there has been so much going on and so much that has been happening in the world..it is absolutely necessary. Health does not hapen for me just by exercise and diets..it is about my spirit..my soul..and play and doing things that are just exploratory or having time together or with friends..that is Health!

So, we got ourselves together and headed to the North Side of town for an Art opening for a really good friend, Virginia Wrigth Frierson. We went to my FAVORITE THAI restaurant in town for a treat...BIG THAI on north fourth..the best curry anywhere..just a luscious spice and best flavors...and so satisfying...That is so nice to have something that warms the soul!

 Before we got to the opening, after dinner,  I saw that much work had been done on the Brooklyn Arts center, a project that has been embattled for years due to funding issues and neglect..but somehow..it is moving forward..and this grand old church.this magnificent structure that was literally falling to ruin was seeing new life and a new prosperity. I told Micahel that I had to go over and take pictures of it..and he obliged my ever tangential need to go "see" something new and shiny!! :)  Oh, how wonderful the cleaned brick and the repaired windows look..the new hope for the uses fo this building and was I glad that I was in the moment, because the developer just happened to be there and invited us in to to see the work in progress and allowed us to go all over and see what was happening in inside and gave us a private tour! How amazing!
(by the way..for those of you getting this through "reader" or email, I have found you have to go to http://bowilmington.blogspot.com/ to see the pics and videos. sorry for this..but the pics are pretty good!)

We left there and really enjoyed the showing my Ginny. What range. I can get lost in her work and all that she does. She was showing so many of the layers that compose who she is as an artist..and it was an honor just to be there. Two pieces really moved me. One was this wall of Canvas that was covered in her writing about her experiences. I think it was called, "write it down and let it go". It was beautiful to see her share the experience of creation and her emotional and spiritual process and then let it be "left:" or "let go" there.

The other was. i beleive, called "confinement. It was rich and filled with emotion...and kept me in its path several times during out time there.

and then there were so many more:

Anyway..it was an amzing night!

Saturday was a day of family..blood and extended...Again..health is about the soul and the soul is about love and connection. We had been asked by someone I truly love to come over and talk to a teen who was being bullied in his school. He and his mother came to visit. First, the friend who invited this youth had never met them before but opened his home to them, no questions asked. God, I love he and his partner. What a heart. Secondly..just connecting with this young man, sharing our own stories and offering hope..God was in us, in that place..and hope..hope..hope...Great start to the day.

We left there and went and spent time with my Mom and Stepdad and had a great time shopping, sharing and playing! Everywhere we went we saw people we knew and connected. It was awesome!

Then I left there and went and spoke at the Alpha Phi Red Dress Silent Auction. This was the first time this sorortiy had done this event. But they had shown up and volunteered at every event for the Heart Association and have been incredible. They asked me to speak and share my experience and it was such and honor! They did an incredible job and they raised over 9,000.00$ unbelievable! What an awesome event and group!

what was even doubly nice was being able to invite Debbie Daniels and hang with her for a short while at the event and introduce her to the women of Alpha Phi. She connected with so many there and was awesome as always! What a presence and a truely awesome person!

Adam, as usual, offered his services at the event as a donation and there was such a great response! 

Not to continue to making this a litany of the weekend, I left this event and had another heart warming event on Sat. evening with one of the first students I ever had at UNCW who is now married and a Doctor! I was such a proud yenta! LOL! We, michael and I, are so lucky to have some very special 'family' that we we have coming back in our life and sharing their lives with us still and this dinner wr was no exception. 

Sunday, it was a day of connecting and reaching out with a dear friend and someone I admire so much who came here to speak at UNCW for us! 

All in all in it was an amazing weekend to say the least...and now...it is already tuesday...two days have passed in this week...an incredible week already! :) 

And there is big news for someone I am so proud of..but that will have to come in the next post! lol! 

thanks be to God!

Day 419: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

So let's get this straight..one legged squats and walking lunges hurt! Ok..maybe hurt is a stretch..but I am sore as hell!..the upside to the soreness is that I did one legged squats and walking lunges! :)...something I have watched others do with nothing short of awe and a little.."really? your doing what?" in my mind.

But on Wed Adam pulled out the poodle box (that thing they make you jump and down on) and said, "stand on one leg and lower yourself down and then stand back up back on one leg". Now..I know better after all this time than to say "no" or to tell him what he can do with that kind of direction..but I can assure that my first thought was not "gee willakers..sure..that sounds SWELL!" lol!..but I went to it..and low and behold..daggone if I did not do them! Not gracefully mind you..but I did them! How about that for progress!
I was not able to do a SQUAT at all on the ground a year ago....hell, remember when he had to used the cirque de se bo ball against the wall so that I could slide down and do a squat!..now I am doing them one-legged for the Lord's sake! Soreness is fine..I have no complaints!

Of course, one would think that having accomplished something that was so amazing, I would spend the rest of the session basking in the admiration and glow of my friend and trainer's approval and be sent on to do nothing by sit in the sauna..but no...I was told to grab the 20 pounders and then we were going to do walking lunges. Again...having seen others do this, i just did not think it was "for me". Wrong again keemosambee! :)One foot out..and back leg down to the floor, trying to not let my knee hit the floor (although, not very successful at that)..keep the front knee over my foot..and repeat and walk...Oh what joy! What absolute joy! (I hope my typing allows for sarcasm to come through!) I will tell you that if my backside is not hard as a brick after doing these for a while, I will NEVER do them again! LOL! However, I will say that they definitley have an effect, regardless of the soreness later and I can see why we are doing them. (yes, once again, he is right...Lord, I just LOOVE saying that! LOL!)

This week has flown by and the weekend is jammed packed! I have the priviledge of being asked to speak at the Alpha Phi Red Dress Silent Auction on Saturday Afternoon at 2! It is going to be great! These women are amazing and they volunteer at the Heart Walk at the Heart Ball every year! The AHA is their national Philanthropy and there is nothing they will not do to educated and be involed in preventing, treating and educating about heart disease!

Here is info on their event:
This Spring, the Eta Xi Chapter of Alpha Phi will host the Annual Red Dress Silent Auction. The purpose of this silent auction is to raise money benefiting the Alpha Phi Foundation, with a focus on women's cardiac care. For more information on our Foundation please visit foundation.alphaphi.com


Hors d'oeuvres will be provided. Dress Casual
Warwick Ballroom UNCW

601 S. College Road
Wilmington, NC 28403

2:00 pm
Tickets are $20, or $10 for students.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to contact our Director of Philanthropy, Angharad Davies, at afd4491@uncw.edu, or our VP of Marketing, Megan Sullivan, at mbs4796@uncw.edu
A few of the items being auctioned include...
• A 1974 Harley Davidson Motorcycle
• 2 month membership and 2 free personal training sessions to O2 Fitness
• 3 month membership and 2 free personal training sessions to Gold’s Gym
• Gift certificates to numerous Wilmington Restaurants
• Passes to the Wilmington Battleship
• Gift certificates to numerous salons in the Wilmington area
• Tickets to: Wilmington Sharks, Carolina Panthers, Charlotte Bobcats, New York Yankees, the UNCW Spring Show (B.O.B.)
• $400 credit to the Little Switzerland Inn, in Little Switzerland NC
• A week at an Oceanfront beach house in Myrtle Beach
• A week at a house on Beaver Island on Lake Winnipesaukee
• A gift basket from Carolina County Store
• Gift certificate to Tara Grinna
• Free tanning to Tropical Tans and Solar Hair Salon
• Items from West Marine
• Different items of Art and Photography from local artists
• 2 free training sessions with Adam Freeman, master trainer at O2 Fitness
• 4 tickets to the Bobcats v Knicks game
• 2 Brazilian blowouts
• And SO much more!


I don't think I have really talk about this, but i have been made the "community chair" for the Cape Fear Heart Association (former logistics Chair). My role is to recruit teams for the heart walk and to go out and talk about heart disease, AHA and share my story. So, this is a way to pay forward all the blessings i have been given and hopefully make an impact. I will, as you can imagine, go anywhere and do whatever i am asked to get folks involved...

Well, Tonight is date night and some fun and I am really looking forward to tomorrow!
Thanks be!

(repost with finish) Day 416: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

(sorry, I hit "publish" rather than "save" and it sent....if you are getting this twice, I apologize..but wanted to finish it). 

Tonight I was sworn in again for a second term on the Wilmington Housing Authority as a commissioner. It was a little surreal that is has been 5 years. It is appropriate, however, that I write about this here because the journey that I have been on in the housing authority has been so tied to the journey of my health and wellness and all the changes that have come to me.

Remember, my friend and mentor Windell Daniels that I have written about died, literally in front of me of a massive heart attack the night I became chairman of the Housing Authority..during one of the most tumultuous times the authority has ever faced. But is was his death that brought me into a new life in many ways..it led to my involvement with the Heart Association, the information that I needed, then Ashley then Kristi then to Adam..God..my higher power in, in all of it working through all of these experiences..and here I am..no coincidences, a path that was straight and narrow but felt so much at times like it had no direction, was uphill or was always winding and never had a clear way..but it always was.

Yep, the night in November, 5 years ago (I was filling an term), when I took the oath of office, I knew that I wanted so badly to serve on the housing authority. I had seen "projects" on tv and been dismayed by the conditions. I had heard of the need in the community to get meetings with this "HUD" agency and none were to be found. I was told of what was perceived as corruption and government waste and all sorts of tales by many in the community and read about it as well.  My Mayor, who was trusting in appointing me, loved his city and wanted things to be righted and said so when he made the appointment. I wanted to understand more. I wanted to see this work and work for the better. I can't say I was naive..but what I have learned and seen these last five years has awakened me and allow me to mature in ways that I have never expected and overall am grateful for.

What saddens me more than anything still is the stigma of public housing among so many and lack of and or desire to care or know our residents and families. the ease at which this vital function in making housing affordable for our working men and women and families is referred to with disdain as "entitlements" and looked on as a burden when we drop with ease money on bombs and excesses that don't even come close to the money we spend to help those help themselves with housing. But more than ANYTHING that saddens me are the folks who don't mess around with the simplicity of the mission "to provide safe, affordable, sanitary housing"....c'mon folks..let's not mess that up. it is basic and as a country, as a people, we can do that without all the drama right?

It never ceases to amaze me to be amongst "christians" who will so readily cast judgment of folks...and so readily cast them aside. Or hear the assumptions that are made so quickly and who look on public housing and housing assistance with such disdain. But if nothing else, this experience has taught me to stick to the mission, stick to what my gut is saying and stick to what I truly believe and not worry about what others might think and pray, pray, pray, pray! Ignorance, while become more of a powerful force in our country these days, will not win the day if it cannot win ALL OF OUR ATTENTION. To deny ignorance and bigotry an audience is to give understanding and acceptance an opportunity.  What matters in the end is the needs of those in need and the proper use of funding to see that happens equitable and fairly. I have learned alot and make mistakes...but it is worth every minute.

Frankly I had to come to that "worth every minute". There have been moments..even days when I just wanted to walk away..so angry and disgusted that I just could not imagine another moment. But I digress a little....in this experience..it did become more important than ever to become more focused on "mission" and less concerned about the detractors and those who so jealously would deny this housing opportunity for others.

Wasting time on that is stressful..wasting time on folks with motives who are not about mission is stressful, wasting time on anything that is not about getting the job done for those in need..well that is stress and in my life..stress can equal bad health and it did there for a while..to a point where my weight and my life went spiralling out of control. I had to remember that if was going to be of any use to anybody...I had to get back to loving me..and then could love others.  This also made me want to do more...be healthy enough to do more...interestingly enough....

When some of the darkness of the hard times in this service started to clear and some of the good that this Agency can make happen began to emerge under new leadership, you could see the good that can be effected for so many. Wanting to see that..well that is inspiring. Wanting to be healthy and be a healthy part of that..well, that is inspring. 

The YouthBuild Program, the Family Self Sufficiency Program, the UNCW/WHA Community Campus which I helped to establish, the once decimated communities that are now being refurbished, the new homes being constructed, our families being able to gain housing with assistance throughout the city..even with cuts in some of the funding...the partnerships being formed...the grants and the funding coming in..the staff...God...what an amazing mission driven staff...all of it...so much...so much that can make the difference in so many lives in such dark times....so, whatever machinations are out there or in there for those who "don't get it"..whatever ignorance is abounding for those who deny those in need and the realities of our socio economic conditions, for all the negative forces, the good pushes out and expands and grows...and is powerful.

Don't get me wrong..i am still going to speak my mind and heart. I am still going to fight for what i believe is right..but what is such victory here is that this is a healthier place.


I am so grateful for this life and thank God for it everyday!