Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 389: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I discovered that if you are using google reader or getting this in email, if I post a video or "vlog" you are not getting them.. So, I am going to better about sednign the link casue sometimes it really does help to be able to do the vid rather than type so that I can post what I am thinking about or information that I find. It is just quicker.

Not that I want you to have to hear the sound of my voice (which apparently I LOVE according to my friends and my partner! LOL!) and my big ole head that you have to look at when I video..but it is quicker.

Today's video is about "what does your table look like"



and here is the link to the vid:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIdCIQ4-xUo

basically, it is about the show "you are what you eat from BBC America and this nutritionist who gets folks to write down what they eat in a week (on their bad diet) and then puts in ALL on a table for them to look at. It is really disgusting when you look at it all there...so, if I am to get healthy..what do I want my table to look at and actually, what does my table look like now..
For me today, the biggest issue is how big do i want my table to be..still a work in progress!
Thanks be!

here is a link to the show:
http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/273/index.jsp
it is really powerful!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 388: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Sunday night and I just saw a friend post that he wants a weekend "do over'. I am totally with him. I do not feel all the rested and not sure I am ready for the week ahead...but, I this past week has been a good one and I have busted tail on a couple of levels.

Adam has wanted me to do some "building" on muscle..so each session we have had has been about a specific set of muscles this week. Monday: Chest, Wednesday: Legs, and Friday Arms. It was intense, but what was the best part about it was being able to do it! :) The slow build and the progress that i have been on to this point has enabled me to always be saying that I am doing things I never thought I would be able to.

On top of the weight training, I have had a cardio addition in the afternoon on these days. It is new and I am actually doing ok with it. One night I ran and the other I did the elliptical. But the best was Saturday when I got to go to Body Flow! GOd, I love this class! I always wanted to be able to do yoga and tai chi and all that...and this is a combination of all it. It is a but kicker, but it stretches me and allows me to really be more flexible. I wish so much that they would offer this class during the week before work or to start the day..in fact, I have been really confused in looking even at the yoga center that the earliest classes are like at 8? When do all these people work? :) But, at least I got to take class on Saturday...and I was able to do almost everythign that was asked as we went through each level..even the balancing..actually, especially the balancing..and it felt really good!  the toughest part was the tract with the ab exercises....I got a little worn out there...but was able to do most of it. I wish everyone was in this class with me! It is really awesome!

Anyway..on the diet front, it was a great week (except today...Sunday is always a weird day with too much time for snacking)...I really did well with being good to myself and limiting my snacks...I am in the season of the orange right now! these amazing navel oranges are coming in and I am so in love with them!

I have discovered an additive for my food that I am using and the more I read about it the more I am glad I have discovered it! Flax seed! Now, it may not be the most pleasant of conversations, but regulatory issues are a big one for diet and health! I can assure you that before this change, there were some major issues. Treating my digestive system well and doing some natural things with watching cholesterol etc is awesome and this stuff does not taste bad and is perfect in most foods!  http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/benefits-of-flaxseed  
I love me some Cosco again, because they sell it in bulk in addition to the protien bars that are so awesome that I have been using! The protein bars are particularly important now as I build a little and need to be very aware of the calories and sugars that some of them have! The ones I found a cosco have 2grams of sugar and are only 200 calories! Of course, like anything else,  can't eat them like Candy, but they are a good addition to my work outs and start in the am and part of one for a snack!

Anyway...This week is full of neat things that are coming up and I am excited about it! I will find some rest here and there throughout.

It is an awesome life! thanks be!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 384: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I am more sore than I have ever been since all this started and it is on purpose (or so I am told!)..not that that makes it feel better, but there is, apparently a method to this madness...and I pray that there are indeed results! LOL
Monday we did my chest and today it was my legs...apparently Friday it is Arms...So...while I am barely able to lift my arms or sit..by Friday..the good news is that I won't have to worry about being able to pick anything up, so i can just lay in bed and veg till I heal! LOL!


No, really, I have lost so much weight, but it is time to put on some more muscle...so we are hitting it pretty hard in that way. Today was pretty incredible actually..I was able to do lunges with 25 lb weights in my hands! I did 400 lb...yep..400 lbs on the leg press and was over 110 on the leg extension and leg pull back thingy and then some! It was an awesome feeling!

So now, I am just sitting back with some warm wonderful brownies to celebrate all that working out!
Pysch! LOL! I am loving some brownies..but no worries...I am not ruining the efforts from this morning...they are the most amazing, healthy wonderful things I could have..and NO..they are not THAT kind of brownie..so I am not High...they are Black Bean Brownies! watch the vid:






I am so grateful to Jenni for showing me these. In all honesty, I have really missed having some dessert and most of the stuff that you buy is really unhealthy...so this is so nice. I was able to find this as well:

http://blackbeanbrownies.com/
Bush's has it's own recipes and they give some alternatives and different flavors.
It is amazing how my looking around I continue to find things that will help me to enjoy food and have really great things, but now be so unhealthy!

Anyway, I am COMPLETELY exhausted! I am off to write two emails and hit the sack!
Night all!


Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 382: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

This has been a very strange, but powerful day.

We got up and off to the gym this morning. I am so proud of Michael that he has gotten past the month and is still going! It feels really good to be going together. He goes and does his thing and I train and we meet up at the end. It is awesome

Adam had a plan for "building" some muscle for me this morning and we were off...push ups, pull ups (assisted, but so cool that I don't need help from him!), what I like to refer to as the Catholic Prayers station...on my my knees, pulling down...while looking up...then standing and pulling from both sides doing bear hugs with weights....then jumping jacks...the hypers with 25 pounds added, then the pull thingy and push thingy....and rinse and repeat! Oh...but wait..I got to add to the push ups with the SLOW pushups....slow down...slow up...and repeat...oh...that was fun! But, i did the routine and while intense. it was great. We even blew off some steam while i kicked his tail grappling! LOL!..ok, maybe I did not win..but for an old man, I held my own!

Left there feeling great to start the day and got to work and it is sooo busy...and then the strange/powerful things happened....opportunities to connect with those in need, productive work, meetings that were tough, but shared some things that were so powerful....and in the midst of it all, I just felt this sense of peace. It was really powerful. It is hard to explain..
but at the end of the day, I was full...you know what i mean....I just needed a release and went for a run...I ran well! I ran hard too and released anything negative and celebrated all the good stuff...it was so nice. Adam had suggested I try and do some cardio today...and it was the perfect thing for me.


I am also going to be journalling all that I eat this week to see where I am with that.

All in all it was an amazing day!
thanks be!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 381: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

 This will not become a weekly blog, but this week was a marathon! There was a full moon this week and if the moon really does have an effect, it was evident everywhere I turned. Work was intense, all the non-profit stuff I am involved in was intense and it seemed like there was just a lot going on in peoples lives as well!

But I showed up at the gym ran this week and did pretty well on my eating too...in fact the works out were absolutely intense this week! I am doing lunges! I was absolutely incapable of doing A lunge much less lunges with weights a year ago and now my the work out this past week was 15 lunges per leg, then 20-25 REAL push-ups on the bozo ball, then 15 plank pull up things...this is where you plank on top of 20 lb barbells and lift the weight up alternating sides! (awesome!), then 15 over the head presses on balancing on the bozo ball, then jumping jacks, then the hyper extensions, the 20 crunches, 20 byccyle crunches, 20 side to side crunches, 20 leg lifts..and 20 curls, and 20 pull downs..and repeat three times! It was and is incredible that I could do that and get through it! Actually, now that I am writing it, I am flipped out that I actually did it! LOL! But I did! It is astounding that after all this time, this has come to pass and I can still even grow form here!

What was even better was watching Adam have so much success this week with Clients and speaking and so much good stuff! It is awesome!


It all goes to show that by making that first step, there is a chance to do things that I could never have dreamed before....and still dream more!

Thanks be to God!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 375: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

The last few days have been awesome, but Saturday was the best!

I started the day by making sure that I showed up and made a new class a priority to get the Yoga that I have wanted into my life really started. Oh, I got some yoga...some tae chi and some pilates and more out of this class called "body flow". It was amazing.

Before the class started I found out from the front at 02 that the owner of the gym was there. I have not been able to met Michael Olander and have been wanting to and to tell him about not only the journey that i am on because of the opportunity that his gym provided, but about what kind of trainer he has in Adam. I was able to do just that.  I think i scared the manager, brian, when I knocked on his door and he may have thought I was coming to lodge a complaint! LOL, but he soon found out that I was there to thank them. I was able to tell Michael about how much Adam has been serving the community, about the gift of life and health he had given me and what the membership at 02 meant for me. One of the things I have learned over the years is to do everything possible to find a way to thank those who bless not only me but who are a blessing.

I left the meeting and went into the new class. I have to tell you that going into these classes is intimidating with all these people. I am as self conscious as the next person, but I work really hard a focusing on why I am there and try and block out others except for the person leading the class.

The instructor for Body flow is megan and she was the person who led the Body Combat class. I thought it was interesting that her fire in that class would be translated into something that was supposed to move at such a different pace. What I found in this class was that while Body Combat was fast past and kept my heart rate up, Body Flow worked me harder because in the movements that we are making, there is a great deal of control, balance and the use of the whole body..but it is amazing! What was so amazing was my balance! When I first started with Adam, I was not able to stand on one foot without the support of holding on to something. Here, in this class, I was holding the pose on one foot, then extending out and then straight back with a flat back and bent knee! OMG! It was incredible! After all this time I am able to do things I never dreamed of and it felt so good!

I was unable to do only one of the exercises..but wow! I want more of this!

I left the class energized, renewed and surprisingly spry!

The rest of the day was just going and enjoy with Michael and having encounters with good people!
Thanks be to God!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 372: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Well, I wish I could say what a difference a day makes.ok..so three LOL! ...but actually I am doing better than I was on Monday..partly because we are back to a little normal, no snow life, and partly because I SWEAR everytime I have turned around this week i have had some message, some person, some thing that reminds me to keep it positive....keep it focused on things that move me through the dull drums and keep me on track...even in my sleep.

No, really. The other night we left the tv on when we fell asleep. When I was half awake, half asleep this tv preacher that i actually like (and yes there are some that are not total con artists) was on first thing and she kept on talking about the appropriate things that you can do with your mouth...now..just..stop...and keep it clean..she was talking about how you can speak positively...keep the things that are coming out of your mouth those things that are positive and affirming..blessings. I was awakened being reminded to start the day be thankful..be grateful to have another day..have the life I have...have the very existence that I have...

So all the things that I am worrying about and all the things that I am picking on myself about and being down about are drowned out by affirming things..no, it does not make what aches, or what feels bad go away, but there is perspective...a chance at viewing what there is that is so very powerful in this life.

It REALLY helped...

I went to the gym and worked hard. I was less concerned about the slowness of my weightloss these days and really saw how in shape I am getting and was able to hear Adam as he actually praised me for having to work harder because I was in such great shape. I even heard a few compliments. See, i don't know about you, but I have a "fat" sieve in my brain. here is how it works. When a compliments comes to me from someone...the compliments go through these little holes. Each hole has a filter of things like "yeah..but your stomach is still not tight".."you still have that turkey neck" "God, you are 44, you will never really be healhty" "is that a bald spot on your head?"...oh yeah...that filter's out a lot of the compliments and I fight with that stuff...not so much fight with it as hear it and then go...Wait just a daggone minute...I am perfect just like God made me and I am so healthy today, doing great things and I look great...but you see..after years of not seeing myself in a positive way..it takes practice...I know, cause I have heard it from so many others...that I am not alone here.

I love me. Yep, I can say that today. God don't make no junk. But Lord that Fat sieve in my brain can drain me of some really good things somedays..particularly in times like these when I am off the beam or going through a seasonal time. Makes me kind of ripe for the picking to do something stupid that makes it worse...but, not this time. This time, there was that voice I heard as I awoke, a lunch with a great friend I am becoming closer to, a really amazing embrace that I so needed at home, productivity at work, getting out of myself a little and focusing on others...a talk with my mom too...and prayer...lots of prayer...

So, I went to work out.

Do you all realize that when Adam took my pulse at the height of my working out it was only 120? Un-freakin-believable...Think about it..a year ago..he would have had me stop and rest because i would be tipping over the 170 and I would have been working at half the weight and effort! Now, it takes more to get my heart rate to a burn area.


That sounds like bad news...but what is so good about it is that my body is recovering in some good ways and I am getting better and doing better. More good news.

Tonight, I did as he asked and when I ran I did not focus on the lenght but on my heart rate...it stayed above 147 the whole time and i had a great run! I am sure that I did thre miles...but I know I burnt up the road!

It was and is a better day!

thanks be to God!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Day 369: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Ok..it's confession time, and I don't mean to skulk to the key board like a Roman catholic going to the booth to admit some cardinal sin...but I have some hope that my sharing, it will reconnect me somehow.

I have just been feeling BLAH the last few days. And the last few days have been spiritually odd...and, well, off. It is hard to explain, but when we anticipated a snow day and I did not want to cook..yep...Incredible pizza showed up at the door..like magic..NOT! I made a conscious decision to feed whatever it was that was disquiet inside me. I have been craving red meat...carbs...and so when the time came and it all aligned...not only a pizza, but a quesidilla as well. Of course the feeding was not as bad as the past, I orderd a veggie pizza from the healthiest pizza place in town..and the quessidilla was a cheese one..but I knew what i was doing: feeding being off. Feeding a feeling of not feeling right. And no matter what, it was not, it is not good.

Now, here is the deal...I know what is happening around me...change of season after Christmas, a lot of happy emotional and stressful emotional things..change in the house as we put away Christmas...and then letting in the world and all that went on around us this weekend...and I know more and and how that gets to me on the inside. 

I need to say this out loud...to walk through this and "change a thought, move a muscle".  Today when I was feeling my worst, I went for a walk on campus in the snow. It was beautful. As I finished the walk, Adam called and wanted to make a snow "person". My first inclination was to say no and crawl back into bed. But something inside me said I needed to do this.  It was the best decision...i had a ball and we made the most absurd, wonderful snow "woman" (Adam's choice! LOL!) ever! It got me out of myself and made a difference...it was moving a muscle and got my thoughts on something outside of me and my own stuff.

The rest of the day has been spent taking care of some things that make me happy..working on non-profit stuff, uploading photos, filling out some cards..and tonight...when I wanted to make pasta nad have "one more night of comfort food"..I thought about how often I had fed my "comfort" and how much that led me to 348 pounds....and how unhappy, more importantly that had and does make me...so instead..i opened the blanched broccoli and brussel sprouts and warmed them..then cooked some chicked with tomato sauce and a dollop of those Idaboan Poataoes. It was a feast and made me feel better because I had done something healthy and good...But as I was eating it, I began a gratitude list of things in the immediate:

a Higher Power that is watching out for me (always)
I have a husband that is here for me
a best male friend who can get me out of myself and have some fun with doing something silly!
food prepped in the frig that is healthy that I can reach for
this blog to share this with others
activities that keep me focused on important things
and most importantly, a journey that is one day at a time, so that whatever happens, It is just about today...and tomorrow holds promise beyond anything I can imagine.

thanks be to God.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Day 365: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Epiphany (from Koine Greek (τὰ) Ἐπιφάνια, epiphania "appearance", "manifestation)

Ok...so I am not trying to be sacrilegious AT ALL, but it is serendipity that today is the one year anniversary of the first day that i stepped into O2 to work with Adam and it coincides with Epiphany! I happen to be one of those people that believes that there are no coincidences and really savor the joy of the day, both in my religion and in the manifestation of this new phase that was brought in to my life...this absolute gift that is and was as much spiritual as anything in my life thus far. 

Now, in looking over the first posts, I realized that I am not sure that I ever really told the story of how this all started. I have told this story so often this year that I assume all know..but on this day, the first anniversary of this wonderful journey, I want to write it down.

I had been struggling with my weight all my life. But since 1999 I had put on over 100 pounds, was diagnosed with diabetes and had begun to develop a number of stress related problems as well as some debilitating back issues.

I was, however, no less active in community work and wanting to be involved. I just kept going and while I was at it, I grabbed whatever was the most convenient to eat..usually something from a drive through and never accompanied by exercise or by eating regularly. I was just not taking care of myself at all.

One of my friends and a mentor of mine literally had a massive heart attack right in front of me and died one night at dinner. It was at a very special dinner and while his passing was most certainly eye opening, so much happened as a result of his death in my own life that i did not have time to really learn at the time from his passing.

However, as life would have it, and in my view God, by his passing I was asked to get on the leadership team of the Heart Association in the Cape Fear. I can remember going to functions and listening with half an ear to what was being discussed and what was being handed out..but seeds were being planted as I particpated.

But, I was too busy. Then my breathing became so short going up stairs, I began to not be able to swallow my food without...well, let's just say I would have to take very small bites and most of the time I would end up losing some of it..and then there was the chest pain.

I ended up in the office of Dr. Buchanan at Coastal Cardiology. They did full scans and lit me up like a christmas tree. I had reached 348 pounds and somehow, when all was said and done, I did not have any blockages. But i was told, at my age, the amount of stress, my weight and blood pressure and diabetes, I had to make a decision or make plans to leave this earth early.

I was at a loss. I had tried every exercise program and failed. I bought the WII board and was too heavy for it. I bought a bike and it was too much for me. I tried a gym and then was ashamed to go.
Finally, I bought a bow flex and my very good friend Kristi came over to show me how to use it.
I still think to this day that she knew I was not going to follow through. It was not too long after she showed me how to use that that she and my friend Ashley met a trainer at 02 fitness named Adam Freeman.

Adam had moved here from Charlotte. He and his then wife Aimee were trying to re-build their lives after one of the most traumatic events any two parents could ever encounter: the loss of a child. They had a beautiful little girl, Kayleigh Anne Freeman, who was born into this world premature. So premature that she was the smallest child ever to undergo open heart surgery and survive. Their struggles and Kayleigh's story was astounding and when Kristi met Adam Kaykiegh had been dead for about 5 months, yet he told her that he did not have a lot of money, but he had learned through that event that giving was the best way to live. Kayliegh's life had taught them that love was above all else the most importnat thing and not much else mattered. He wanted to give and pay it forward as it were to help others with heart issues.

Kristi, who happened to also be a close friend of Ashley, who had taken over the heart association here locally, who both happened to be close friends of mine, had an idea.

the next thing I knew they came to me and offered that if I would do this publicly, pay it forward by helping others by learning as I was learning, this Adam Freeman would train me for free! All I had to do was show up.

You can go back and read day one. The rest is History.

So, love manifested itself through that. It still does.

Adam just gave someone else the gift of training...He is doing it again. This person is the wife of a very dear man who has served this community and those in need of heart healthy experiences for a long time and who himself is a power of example.

Adam is my brother, my very closest of friends. I am blessed by him as are all who are his clients and friends.  He and his ex-wife HAVE a child, Kayliegh who lives on in all the love that manifests itself in all that transpires now and continues on.

This journey is not over..it is but a year old.

I am glad that you all are along with me. I will continue to "pay it forward" and it does not matter how many read it...even if it is only one..I was only one a year ago and my life is changed...one day at a time by this love..not just losing weight...but by living and being the best I can.

Thanks be to God!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Day 361: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

The first week back and things are on track. Monday morning WE went into the gym and it was awesome! Yep, Michael went with me and that was great! He did the treadmill and I went to training with Adam....and Adam had a great deal in store...but what was amazing was that on Monday, to start the new year, we began with whole new levels of ability:

At first I thought it was going to be a normal routine...squat, curl, presses with 20 pound weights..then Adam walked over the assited pull up machine. I have not been on that in quite a while and interestingly the night before i had a dream that I was able to go into the gym and do a chin up without the assistance of the weights on the machine. So, I went over to the machine and hopped on, and while I was certainly not at the point of doing chin ups without some weights on it, I knocked it  out with no problem AND the weight added to the machine is only 150 pounds! It was amazing! WITH Adam helping to push on the weights AND me barely able to get through a whole set, that was the way I did this machine the last time! It was phenomenal!

It was another example of how, a little by little, over time, things...well, I am growing and changing!
To that end, we went to the mirrored area and Adam causally said, "grab the 50's"...I looked at him like he had lost his daggone mind!!!! But he insisted. Now, mind you, since i already reacted in a way that put it to it that there was no way that was gonna work, i set myself up for this to be difficult and as I have said..that is a big no no! But..there I was. I picked them up and I struggled to do sitting squats with them...but sure enough as I whimpered through...I did them!

Then he had me do planks and return to them. Having seen that I could do it the first time and realzing how negative I was being..i decided to approach it more positively..and sure enough the second set went more smoothly..certainly not easily...but more smoothly..and by the third set...It kicked my butt..but I got through it!

Now...that said...I realized that I would NEVER have atttempted that on my own without guidance. It does take help and the belief from others to guide me...to help me see my own potential in many ways and Adam has done that.

The big issue fro a lot of folks is being able to afford a trainer. Adam has set up a personal, online system that is WAY affordable to help those who cannot do the sessions in the gym. This is absolutley affordable and a means to really make this type of program accessible. I pray that folks will use it!

http://adamfreemanpt.blogspot.com/2001/01/online-personal-training.html

As well, as using this type of program, outing oneself..sharing your goals with others..letting your friends know what you want and that you want to change or get healthy can also be so helpful! 

I cannot tell you how much doing this blog has held me to account for my own success. Sharing this story has helped me to really get honest with myself but also make me think about what I am doing and how I am doing it. And the amazing folks who have shared with me their stories, their support, their love in return has been the very spirtual and mental substance that has kept me and keeps me going! 

tonight I ran down the Shell trail along eastwood road...tomorrow I will get up and go to the gym. After almost a year of this change it is nice to know what I will be doing for myself and moreover, it is nice to give myself the gift of this change.  It sounds cliche, but it was waiting for me for a long time, I just had to unwrap it..and I thank God...yes, even during squat, curl, presses, that I did! 

Thanks be!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Day 358: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Ok..so if you noticed the days jumped a little, it is because somewhere during the year my numbering got off. On January 7th it will be 365, so I decided to go ahead and fix it here.

Today is January 1, 2011! the first day of a new year and if today is any indication of the year to come, I will be having a great year!

We got up this morning and went off to the 5k for the Wilmington Area Rebuilding Ministry..WARM...it was awesome..the weather has broken from the cold and snow and we had 58 degree weather this morning. I saw old friends this morning and it was such a "warm" way to begin the new year.



The best part was having Michael along and I hope that we will be able to do more of this!
We also got some black eyed peas and cornbread for luck for the year!  I did not beat my top speed for a race, but that was ok. I have to admit I was pushing pretty hard this morning. I was tight through my legs and back for some reason. I did stretch, but I was having to push more than I can remember in a while. I do know that i had not eaten this morning and this race started a little later than most, so I was running on virtually empty. I am going to the have to power up a little next time to feel a little better. I finished at 34 minutes, which is the same as most of my top times..and still down over 12 minutes from the very first race that I ran just 4 months ago...

But what was incredible was when it hit me:

Just a year ago...just 12 short months ago, I could barely walk to the loop without losing my breath or having shin splints, and here I am running the daggone thing!

I can remember seeing pictures back then of my friend Andy. He posted pics of himself after losing 80 pounds in 10 months and getting so fit...I remember the visual of how amazing he looked, but moreover thinking... "he did that in 10 months".."I have 10 months...I can do that"....and by breaking up that 10 months into one day at a time intervals..and really focusing on each day...as I continue to do now...WOW!...I am at this point. Now...imagine where I can go from here....imagine....

So, This morning was a little more for Michael and he needed to rest..and I decided to head out to the beach and had a little time for reflection.





I am not sure I was as articulate about miracles and blessings as I should have been..but you get the idea...there was a lot of work in  this this year..but there was the gift that Adam gave me...the intervention from Kristi and Ashley...and at every turn there has been something..someone....things that have helped to make this real, alive, viable for others....and hopefully...all of it has been of use and has been something that has helped others...

well, we have more to do...more to uncover..more to learn...God, that is so exciting!
thanks be to God!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Day 346: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Goals for 2011: Three Fold!
This whole journey actually stared over 21 years ago for a deeper understanding  of how to live a more spiritual, healthy life.  In those first years I understood that I was a three fold being, spiritual, mental and physical and in this past year so much of my physical being has changed, but it would not have happened if that understanding of the three fold being had not been in place:

A higher power to guide me and being in touch with Him and all the peace, love, understanding, joy, and strength that is not only unconditional but unfathomable sustains each day of this journey.

Having a mind set that allows for learning and openness to change, being ready for the positive and acting in a manner that is willing to move from the negative to positive has been a blessing and to accept things when they are what they are. But to also know that this thinking is a discipline, that it is something I CONTROL when my thinking has taken me to places that act in opposition to the health and well being of my own self and if I want to be miserable and negative, well, then that is what I can choose.  

And finally being able to see my physical self and be able to see the changes, appreciate the good and find that I am capable of things that I never dreamed of but also just enjoy being able to do simple things and be grateful for that.

So in setting my new goals (that surpass what I am already doing) for this year, I want to do them in the three facets that make me a complete being: Goals for my Spiritual Life; Goals for my Mental Life: Goals for my Physical Life.

Spiritual:
Yoga at least once a week: hope to have daily practice of some sort integrated by the end of the year.
Read one book a month on some spiritual text or philosophical writing. 
Walk on the beach/airlie/or other park once a month
Daily devotional morning and evening
Find an outlet to sing.

Mental:
Take a class
Read at least one fiction novel a month
Have a game night once a month
Draw
Learn more about painting and color combos/paint

Physical:
Run a 10k (the bridge run in Charleston)
Do team in training with Neesha
Get the final 20 off.
Learn to kayak
Move from 5k Tuesday and Thursday to 10k
Break 11 minute mile

When my childhood hero, Meadowlark Lemon was here in the fall, I got to sit with him and talk for a while and he talked about what he and his family do in their home for “goals”. They call it the “vision board”. Whatever it is that they want they write on the board and they see it each day and they keep their mission or their focus in front of them at all times.

It is my intent to take this practice into these goals this year and make sure that I have these goals in front of me and keep them in front of me. I want for myself, my family life, and for what I do to be a part of the success of this coming year.

While I have learned over the years that changes, surprises and things are always around the corner, I know, and I have faith that I will be given everything that I need in each and everyday to handle whatever is placed in front of me by my higher power, whom I call God.  It is not only a comfort, it is a celebration because I can plan and enjoy thinking about things to come as the outcome is not in my hands.

So, here’s to 2011 and the days ahead! One day at a time!

God Bless us all!


Day 345: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

it may be a week of vacation, but yes sir, I got my butt up out of the bed this morning and off to the gym. Yeah, sounds like I was really up and at em..but truth be told, as I got up I was thinking of everyway I could to call and get out of this morning! LOL! But, I knew that was the wrong thing to do. This week I really wanted to 'detox' from some holiday habits..

I have had some great treats and some "no regret" things that I have really enjoyed, but it is time to get back on the "a" game when it comes to eating and in the process I want to be on my regular track with my exercise.

Snacking is something that can sneak in so easily. So, that is the big one. At my mother-in-laws she had a ton of snacks, everywhere. It really is true that if you have it out of the house, life is easier. In alcoholics anonymous they teach to change "people, places, and things" and the same can be said for changing behaviors and actions with food in many ways. By not having "trigger foods" or unhealthy foods in the house, it is far less likely to sit down and eat them (because making a special trip for them gives more time to think about it) and having healthier alternatives around give things to reach for. Just like with the person who is changing drinking. No booze in the house..harder to drink.

I also did some prep this week with some of the veggies left from our party. I even made a couple of videos to share:








As you can see, these are about how to take time to be prepared and take care of me and us! By taking that time I am less likely to make bad choices and also I will have time to enjoy some really great food in the process.

I am really enjoying my time off this week. I have done some work around the house, taken myself out to lunch (michael is still with his mom for a couple of days), exercised, seen friends, run errands, and done some spiritual work that i have been needing to do. Nice.



So,  this week has been about getting out of the house those things from the holidays left over from the "treats" and getting back on track.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day 342: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

amazing that Christmas day has passed and we are sitting here enjoying breakfast looking at 5 inches of snow outside the garden room window! It is beautiful!

This morning, or really last night, i was humbled by an article in the newspaper that featured this journey:


http://www.starnewsonline.com/article/20101225/ARTICLES/101229784/1004?Title=Bo-Dean-is-on-a-quest-for-better-health-and-a-better-community

I was blown away when they called me and asked me to do this, and frankly, as "out there" as I am, this was a little intimidating to say the least. But, I figured, if there was a chance that my story could inspire ANYONE else to join in this life change..then it was worth it. Not to mention that I got to talk about those causes and agencies (some of them) that drive me and inspire me each and everyday.

I said names of folks who were part and parcel responsible for this journey and wish they had been included, but you all, I hope have heard me say them so often..Adam Freeman, my brother and trainer who has so helped me transform and be the best i can be. Ashley Miller and Kristi Tomey who brought me this gift of life and intervened. My mom, Michael for supporting me through the change and being so honest with me...and then so often i have talked about friends who set the example for me: Andy was the first, then Woody, and Connie. Then those who joined in who are so close: Louise, Joanne, Ken, and so many others! Blessed, blessed, blessed!

Of course this story did not come without some of the detractors having to have their say in the forums, making my sexual orientation and politics the issue over the work and the life change. But, I really meant what I said, I can only give them up to God and move on. I can't say that it is not sad when this happens, nor does it not disappoint when I know that there is such discord in those folks, but what I have learned over the years is that by sticking to what I know His will is for me and by staying true to the course and not be distracted or taking off course by the sickness of others, there is really nothing that cannot be done..nothing that we cannot do for each other.

Again, don't take this to politics..but true to what i just said is a story that I just read about one of my heros (who I have to meet before he or I leave this world!) Jimmy Carter. In Huff post yesterday, there was a story about this horrible worm that infected so many through their water supply. Carter made it a mission of his foundation to eradicate this worm and the horrific effect it had on folks. They have almost succeeded. If he allowed the detractors, particularly the political ones, to keep his time, he never would have been able to focus on so much good in the world and take care of himself and his family. What a powerful power of example he is!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/26/jimmy-carter-vs-guinea-wo_n_801295.html

I am trying to keep up with exercise right now. Yesterday before the snow I went for a run...Salisbury has hills! LOL!





it was a lot of fun. My mother in law has a house full of snacks! :) so, I am trying to stay to true to diet...but we will see! So far,  I am doing well!

We are off to CAREFULLY go downtown and look at the snow on the historic area!

Love to all!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 332: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

I know..I am a little blog happy this week..but this one is important. This morning I was having a kick butt workout with Adam..in between each amazing set of strength reps he was having me do jumping jacks..the most amazing feeling came over me as i went up and down..I felt my body being almost solid..you know..that feeling of a body that is toned...together..fit. I knocked out 40 jumping jacks in between each set like it was nothing...and it hit me how amazing that was..that after a year..here I am doing something I just could never have dreamed of..that this is where I am and wow!

and then...

I went over and stepped on the scale...

No..I have not lost anymore weight and I am still on the plateau..and WHAM..in my head...I was heavy...I was jiggly..I was all sorts of negative crap..and Adam..God bless him..saw it..he saw what came into my head and without missing a beat said, "nothing will change..and I mean nothing if you don't see the positive and stay focused on that.." "that tightness and out of breath you are feeling is the fat that is burning off your body and you are going ot burn through this. But if you are thinking negatively, you are going to hold on to this and it will never change"..

I thought...damn..this 32 year old is a wise little yoda! :) facilitating my higher power this morning as he does so foten...and reminding me of that lesson that "what you think in your heart, so shall you be"...What a blessing. And I am here to tell you, my brother/trainer could not be that conduit if he was not in touch with something much greater than himself as well. It is amazing.

From that point on.even the exercises that I dread..I focused on as a means to a positive..but as I looked at myself in the mirror towards the end adn remembered that less than a year ago I could not even face that mirror in the gym..my heart soared...

well..Merry Christmas all!
and thanks be to God!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day 339: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Ok..so another advantage to doing these five K runs is that many of them register through get active! I love the tips and the information that come through them and it is little irony that today I got two great articles that I have to share..one on making a treadmill better and the other on keeping warm on a run. I HATE a treadmill..so maybe this will help me..and of course, as my video the other night shows..I need to keep warm in the current state of things! :)

So, here they are with the links to the the site!

http://www.active.com/

When we think of treadmill running, most of us instinctively look down on it as a second-class form of running. But there are times weather, travel or other circumstances will have even the strongest opponent to the treadmill line up and start pushing the buttons for a workout.

Regardless of where you fall on the treadmill love/hate spectrum, running indoors can be incredibly effective. First off, treadmills are safe: no uneven terrain, no scary dark streets, no icy patches or road running. Second, treadmills are convenient: they allow you to have all your food and nutrition, you can multitask with news and/or music, and they are located in almost every gym on the planet. Finally, treadmills are simply consistent: not only do you get the same run every time, but you get to run in a temperature-controlled environment with similar terrain and conditions.

Inside Marathon Nation, each marathon training schedule is built around quality workouts. Think intervals, repeats and specific paces. Once the winter hits and the snow starts to fall, our athletes are faced with the no-so-fun prospect of trying to hit specific zones in less than ideal conditions.

The treadmill is the default winter weapon of choice to make sure that we can incrementally increase the workload and ensure increased fitness regardless of the weather outside. Having treadmill access means you have zero excuses for missing that next run workou.

Let’s take it one step further and see how you can make your indoor running insanely effective instead of something you just do to kill time until the temperature comes around.


Be Prepared

Running indoors when it’s cold outside can be logistically challenging. To make sure you are 100 percent ready for a great treadmill workout, you’ll need to have all the right gear and equipment to handle the indoor temps.

Treadmill Clothes : Regardless of your pace, you’ll most likely get your sweat on. As such, we recommend a well-fit technical T-shirt and a quality pair of shorts. Wear your regular running shoes — just make sure they are clean. Additional items to consider could be a sweatband (old school but effective) or wristbands (also to catch excess sweat).

Treadmill Gear : Given the indoor nature, you’ll want to keep yourself well-hydrated and as dry as possible. An easy to use waterbottle that you can operate with one hand is critical, and keep the water as cold as possible. A hand towel is also a good idea (I use a face cloth from home), just to wipe your face, hands, and arms as needed. If entertainment is your thing, you’ll want earphones to plug into your fancy treadmill—or at least your own music source if you are on a regular treadmill.


Warm Up Right

It’s all too easy to just jump on the treadmill and start cranking away at your set pace. This is forgetting that when you run outside your body naturally rolls into its optimal pace. Here’s a basic warm up to help make your workout as safe and effective as possible:

Walk for 3 minutes: Start easy and build it up to a brisk walk in the last minute.
Jog for 3 minutes: If you know your marathon pace, this effort is about 1 to 1.5 minutes slower per mile.
3 x 20/40s: This is 20 seconds fast, 40 seconds recovery. Goal here is to get the blood pumping and have you ready to hit your intervals / training session at 100 percent.
And let’s not forget about cooling down, too. Ideally you’ll be able to walk your run out. The basic golden rule here is one minute for every mile run; a five-miler will net you about five minutes of easy walking.
Focus On Your Cadence

The biggest difference between running outside and indoors is that on a treadmill the ground is moving while you stay in place. This is evident when we compare the two: an 8:00/mile effort on your regular run might net you a heart rate of 150bpms and a perceived exertion level of 7. But that same pace on a treadmill has your HR at 140bpms and feels more like a 5.5 than a 7. Don’t be bummed about the difference. Use it to your advantage by improving your form.

There are two ways to run faster: longer strides or more of the same length strides. Increased cadence is the easier part of the “running faster” equation, and a treadmill is the perfect place to get this done. You have a timer right in front of you and little else to occupy your attention. You can actually hear your foot strike and will be able to find the sweet spot for your foot placement (hint: it’s pretty quiet). And you can begin working on a cadence of about 180 foot strikes per minute (about 90 for just one foot).

Here’s How to Improve Your Cadence:

Establish a Baseline Number : Simply count one foot every time it hits the floor for about 15 seconds. Multiply by 4 and you have your current number. Remember the target is about 90, so do the math to see how big your gap is. For example, if my single foot cadence is 82, I have 8 steps to make up. A baseline goal is about 2 steps per week, assuming you are running four times weekly.

Week 1: Implement 5 x 1 minute focus intervals in at least three workouts. During each focus interval you are counting your strides to make sure they are at your baseline + 2 level. When not in a focus interval, run at your easy, self-selected pace.
Week 2: Implement 5 x 2 minute focus intervals as ODDS at baseline +2, EVENS at baseline +4.
Week 3: Implement 5 x 3 minute focus intervals. Within each 3 minute segment, move your cadence up from Baseline +2 to Baseline +4 and then to Baseline +6
Week 4: Implement 5 x 3 minutes again, only this time bump the cadence intervals up to Baseline +4 to Baseline +6 and finally Baseline +8.

Test Your Fitness

One of the biggest challenges to moving indoors is trying to reconcile the fitness you know you have on the open road with what you are doing for your workouts on the treadmill. There are fancy formulas and lots of tips out there to help you do the fuzzy math, but there’s a better way. If you see a good amount of treadmill running in your future, do a proper test to remove all doubt.

The Marathon Nation Treadmill Test: After a quality warm up (as listed above), run a 3-mile time trial effort. Start with the effort you know you could run a 5K outdoors. Evaluate how you feel every 1/2 mile starting at the 1 mile mark, adjusting the pace faster/slower as needed. At the end you’ll have your new "high-end" pace and heart rate and can now begin to dial in the remainder of your regular workouts accordingly. Note the treadmill should be at about 1.5%.


Use Incline to Your Advantage

Running on a flat treadmill is, by all accounts, similar to running down a slight decline on the open road. Combined with the treadmill’s inertia, you’d be tempted to over-stride a bit and lose your natural running form. Standard Treadmill Protocol (STP) is to set the incline at 1% as the baseline for all your runs.

As you begin to improve on the treadmill, the natural tendency is to increase the speed at which you are running via the magical up arrows…but remember this won’t really translate to the open road. Instead of just going faster, challenge yourself by increasing your base incline amount. Feel good at 8:00/mile and think 7:50s will be easier? Keep it at 8:00s but up the incline from 1% to 2%…and see how that feels. At the very least, try to alternate between incline and speed adjustments as you continue on your indoor regimen.

For those of you who’ll be running faster than 6:00/mile in your intervals, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a gym treadmill that can handle it. Challenge yourself by upping the incline first, pace second. A 6:00/mile at 4% is the equivalent of a 5:32 mile… see if you can hang on! For more treadmill pacing via incline guidance, check out this Treadmill Pace Conversion Chart.

Good luck this winter. Stay focused. With the right work and proper attention, you can emerge from the cold with improved form and great fitness.

IT's COLD! How to Stay Warmer!

http://www.active.com/
Just because chilly winters bring lower temperatures and fewer daylight hours, doesn't mean your running routine has to suffer. After all, running through the cold weather can help you cope with the winter blues, improve your energy level, and get you into the better shape you've been all year. Here are some winter running tips to get you through the snow and avoid slippery situations.


Pay Attention to Weather Conditions

It is important to be aware of the wind chill and temperature outside before you go for a run. If winds are too strong, it can penetrate through your clothes and remove the insulating layer of warm air around you. Your body movement increases air movement past your body, creating a windchill. If the temperature is below minus 20 and the wind chill is below zero, the treadmill may be a better idea.


Dress in Layers

Dressing in layers is important, but you don't want to overdress either. Start with a thin layer of synthetic material such as polypropylene, which absorbs body sweat. Avoid cotton material because it holds in moisture and will keep you wet, ultimately making you feel more cold. An outer, breathable layer of nylon will help protect you against rain and wind. It also releases heat and moisture to prevent overheating and chilling. You should dress for the weather and from personal experience. If you haven't run in the winter before, go out for a test run in a couple layers around the block and add or take away layers if you feel the need to do so.


Cover Your Hands and Feet

Wear mittens or gloves and warm socks. This is important if you don't want to freeze or get sick. Your hands and feet get cold fast, and you should make sure to monitor the conditions of your fingers, toes, ears and nose for frost bite.

Many runners feel numb in various places of their bodies after a run at first, but they should warm up a few minutes into your run. If you notice a patch of hard, pale, cold skin, you may have frostbite. Get out of the cold immediately and slowly warm the affected area. If the numbness continues, seek immediate medical care.


Cover Your Head

Covering your head is very crucial. About 40 percent of your body heat is lost through your head. Wearing a hat will help prevent heat loss, while helping to distribute heat to the rest of the body. When it's really cold, wear a face mask or scarf over your mouth to warm the air you breathe while protecting your face.


Don't Think About the Cold

Instead of thinking about the cold temperatures, think about the beauty winter brings and how in shape you will be. You will feel great and accomplished after a run in the wintery snow, where many don't even think to walk, more less run anywhere near this season.

Exercising outdoors can be very fun and beneficial, but it isn't for everyone. Cold air and temperatures are known to trigger chest pain or asthma attacks in some people. Before heading out into the cold, it would be wise to consult your doctor about your winter running plans if you have any medical conditions or concerns about braving the winter elements.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Day 329: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

Monday and the start of a new week! It seems to move so quickly..although I say that a lot..but it really does...It is astounding to think that I am fast coming up on a year since I started this part of my journey...what an amazing ride!

I have been running more lately and really feeling the effects of running on my body. I can feel myself not struggling as much and when I get to the end of the three miles, I could go for another lap. At this point..I am sticking to the 5k each time..I like that run and it feels good. I may want to increase it at some point, but for now, I am moving at a faster pace and making the most out fo that run.

I have been a little stressed and emotional lately (hey it is the holidays and both good and melancholy ensue...so no worries) on some levels and FOOD is EVERYWHERE with the holiday season in full effect. Everywhere I turn there are snacks and treats and folks bringing things to us! It is very nice, but for me, those things just are not treats when they make me feel badly..or if, when I eat them, I become veracious and want more and more.

So, I am having to figure out ways to take care of myself to enjoy the holidays and still maybe have somethings that I don't normally.

When I go to parties I get a glass of water and carry that all night. That way I always have somethign in my hand that I can turn to in the face of chocolate covered whatever's and cheese filled whatchamacalits...

I go for whatever looks the healthiest being offered and really enjoy that and make sure that I at least have one of something fun and decadent..just not 15! :)

These help me feel a part of things, but keep me from doing more to myself than I would want.

I am working on our Christmas project right now. We are doing something very different than our usual Crystal that we always do each year:

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Day 324: Greater than through love and support: Journey with the Cape Fear Heart Walk and Adam Freeman

awesome day of celebrating and having some christmas cheer with my fellow santas at the "good friends" luncheon! 600 plus women who get together..give money, have a bag lunch and then use that money throughout the year to help those in need! What a way to celebrate! All we had to do was dress up like santa..say "merry christmas" sing..and then collect the money! I lOVED it! bringing christmas cheer is not a hard thing to do AT ALL! The best part is that I could not only fit into my santa costume I was a skinny santa this year. literally, last year, I could barely get the suit closed..and forget wearing a belt..and I had to have help getting on my boot covers cause if i bent down it would possible burst the suit! What a relief this year..What a relief!

Ok..so this blog is about charting the progress and sharing the story of this journey, so I gotta be honest. I needed that today, just like I need everyday a little reminder about my progress. But here lately I have been stuck on this platueau and as much as i say I am dealing with it and saying that I am being positive..I am worried more than I have been saying.

Partly because we are in the Holiday season and i am literally surrounded on all sides by treats and food and goodies and food and of course we are entertaining too and I am doing all these events. And partly because it is some pretty high stress right now and I am very tired. Ok..yep..I know HALT..hungry angry lonely tired..I am just having to move through it righ now.

It is VERY difficult to stay the course and VERY difficult to feel the kind of regularity I normally feel.

I know it sounds like some, as they used to say in something else I was involved in " high class problems" considering how far I have come..but I am feeling a bit off the beam as it were.

I am so grateful that I am showing up at least right now. I know that is half the battle. Having Michael's support and Adam helping me..that is HUGE! just doldrum's..ya know.

So, I had to share this...cause it just would not be honest if I didn't....
No worries though...I started my day at 5:30 headed to the gym..and no matter what..I know how many blessings are in my life. Thanks be to God for all of it and all of you!